IRLF 


ECHNICAL 

WRITING 


T.A.RICKARB 


•MMMMMMMIMMHMMM 


TECHNICAL  WRITING 


BY 

T.  A.  RICKARD 


Editor  ot  the  'Mining  and  Scientific  Press',  San  Francisco;  formerly  editor  of  the 

'Engineering  and  Mining  Journal',  New  York,  and  of  'The  Mining  Magazine', 

London.    Formerly    State    Geologist     of     Colorado;     Associate     of    the 

Royal  School  of  Mines;  Author  of  'A  Guide  to  Technical  Writing',   . 

'Journeys  of  Observation',    'Through  the   Yukon   and    Alaska', 

'The  Flotation  Process',  'Sampling  and  Estimation  of  Ore 

in    a    Mine',    etc.,    etc.,    Special    lecturer    in      the 

universities    of    Harvard,    Columbia,  McGill, 

Stanford,  and  California. 


FIRST    EDITION 
TOTAL  ISSUE,  FOUR  THOUSAND 


NEW  YORK 

JOHN   WILEY  &  SONS,   ING. 

LONDON:  CHAPMAN  &  HALL,  LIMITED 
1920 


Copyright,  1920 

BY 

T.  A.  RICKARD 


4/20 


or 

BRAUNWOWH    &    CO. 
•OOK    MANU-ACTURER8 
<LYN.     N,     V. 


PREFACE 


This  little  book  has  grown  from  a  set  of  five  lectures  delivered 
before  the  engineering  classes  of  the  University  of  California 
in  1916.  The  text  has  been  revised  and  expanded  for  the  pur- 
pose of  publication.  It  is  a  ticklish  task  to  write  on  writing, 
because  the  effort  provokes  self-consciousness.  Errors  there 
will  be,  inevitably.  The  reader  is  welcome  to  the  pleasure  he 
may  feel  in  detecting  them,  for  the  keenness  of  his  criticism 
will  be  the  measure  of  his  interest  in  what  he  is  reading.  All 
I  hope  to  accomplish  by  means  of  these  printed  lectures  is  to 
cause  the  members  of  my  former  profession  "to  sit  up  and  take 
notice."  Whether  my  criticisms  prove  unacceptable  or  my 
suggestions  unwelcome  does  not  matter,  if  the  effect  is  to  make 
the  reader,  as  a  writer,  careful  where  before  he  was  careless. 
The  inculcation  of  rules  and  precepts  is  of  small  consequence 
compared  with  the  awakening  of  interest  in  the  proper  use  of 
language.  If  an  intelligent  man  can  be  made  to  realize  the 
importance  of  taking  pains  in  writing,  the  rest  is  easy;  self- 
criticism  is  the  beginning  of  knowledge.  Should  this  book  suc- 
ceed in  arousing  sympathetic  interest  in  the  important  matter 
of  literary  expression,  it  will  have  served  its  purpose.  As  a 
revised  edition  is  anticipated,  I  ask  my  readers  to  inform  me 
of  any  errors  they  detect  and  to  favor  me  with  any  criticisms 
they  may  care  to  offer,  so  that  together  we  may  labor  in  the 
cause  of  literary  workmanship.  The  text  has  been  read  by 
several  friends,  to  whom  I  am  indebted  for  criticisms  and 
suggestions.  I  desire  to  record  my  thanks  to  them,  namely, 
Mr.  George  M.  Wood,  editor  to  the  U.  S.  Geological  Survey, 

iii 


iv  PREFACE 

Mr.  Cornelius  B.  Bradley,  Professor  Emeritus  of  English  in 
the  University  of  California,  Mr.  Courtenay  De  Kalb,  Mr. 
Grant  H.  Smith,  and  Mr.  C.  Irving  Wright. 

T.  A.  RlCKARD. 

SAN  FRANCISCO, 
May  24,  1919. 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

PREFACE      .       .       .       ....       ,       .       .       „  iii 

I.  GENERAL  PRINCIPLES       .       ...       .       .       .       .       .       .1 

II.  NATURALNESS 11 

III.  CLEARNESS 19 

IV.  PRECISION   .       ...       . 29 

V.  SUPERLATIVES  AND  OTHER  DILUENTS    . 46 

VI.    IT,   ONE,   WITH,   WHILE         . 55 

VII.  THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS 64 

VIII.  PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS 92 

IX.  HYPHENS  AND  COMPOUND  WORDS 107 

X.  SLOVENLINESS 118 

XI.  JARGON 134 

XII.  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES 149 

XIII.  COMPOSITION 163 

XIV.  STYLE  .  .  168 


TECHNICAL  WRITING 


I.     GENERAL  PRINCIPLES. 

It  has  been  stated,  by  James  Barrie,  that  "  the  man  of 
science  appears  to  be  the  only  man  who  has  something  to 
say,  just  now — and  the  only  man  who  does  not  know  how  to 
say  it."  The  friendly  jibe  of  the  novelist  contains  enough 
exaggeration  to  make  it  humorous  to  the  followers  of  Huxley 
and  Spencer;  but  could  any  litterateur  poke  similar  fun  at  the 
exponents  of  the  avowedly  utilitarian  branches  of  science — the 
men  of  technology — without  suggesting  an  unpleasant  truth? 

Indeed  the  engineer  does  bungle  language  deplorably.  He 
makes  a  fetish  of  efficiency,  yet  he  shows  no  regard  for  the 
effective  use  of  one  of  his  most  important  tools — the  pen;  he 
believes  devoutly  in  accuracy,  yet  he  employs  a  weapon  of 
precision  as  carelessly  as  a  small  boy  handles  a  gun.  This 
inconsistency  may  be  due  to  causes  similar  to  those  indicated 
by  the  Academic  Senate  when  it  undertook  to  explain  the 
defective  writing  of  the  students  in  this*  university.  The 
Senate  suggested  that  the  student  is  "constantly  subjected  by 
his  environment  to  the  unedifying  influence  of  myriad  examples 
of  poor  English,"  and  that  he  is  also  affected  by  "a  certain 
public  prejudice  against  correctness  of  expression."  With 
this  opinion  most  of  us  will  agree.  Our  local  newspapers,  for 
instance,  tend  to  spoil  the  student's  taste  for  good  English; 
later  in  life,  as  an  engineer,  his  daily  contact  with  illiterate  men 
inclines  him  to  careless  speech  and  slovenly  writing.  As 
Brander  Matthews  says:  "The  uneducated  are  inclined  to 
resent  any  speech  more  polished  than  their  own." 

*  The  University  of  Calif oraia,  where  these  lectures  were  delivered. 


2  l  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

A  distinguished  engineer  and  veteran  mine-manager, 
Arthur  DeW.  Foote,  recently  complained  to  me  about  the 
careless  writing  of  the  young  men  that  applied  to  him,  by  letter, 
for  professional  employment.  Most  of  these  letters,  he  said,  were 
so  untidy  in  appearance  and  in  expression  that  he  threw  them 
into  the  waste-paper  basket;  but,  he  added,  whenever  he 
received  a  letter  neatly  written  and  clearly  expressed  he  gave 
it  kindly  consideration.  He  told  me  also  that  he  had  found 
it  impossible  to  promote  several  bright  young  fellows  on  his 
staff  because  they  did  not  know  how  to  keep  a  legible  record 
or  how  to  use  English  intelligibly.  "Such  bad  English;  drum- 
mer's English!"  he  exclaimed.  In  the  course  of  further  con- 
versation he  recalled  an  interview  with  the  late  Professor 
Christy,  of  this  university,  who  asked  him  to  give  an  address 
to  the  mining  students.  "No,"  Mr.  Foote  replied,  "the  engineer 
is  called  upon  to  do  everything  but  preach;  from  that  he  is 
excused."  Christy  then  asked:  "If  you  were  to  give  a  talk, 
what  would  be  your  subject?"  Foote  replied:  "Writing; 
your  students  need  to  be  taught  that.  I  would  not  allow  any 
of  them  to  disfigure  our  mine-records."  "But  that,"  pleaded 
Christy,  "is  the  business  of  the  high-school."  "They  appear 
to  shirk  it,"  said  Foote;  "you  ought  to  se,e  that  they  don't  get 
through  the  mining-school  without  some  training  in  the  writing 
of  reports  and  technical  papers." 

The  engineer  graduates  of  this  university  are  not  peculiar 
in  being  unable  to  handle  skilfully  a  tool  that  they  must  use 
as  long  as  they  live.  In  this  respect  many  graduates  of  other 
technical  colleges  are  equally  deficient.  A.  S.  Hill,*  professor 
of  rhetoric  in  Harvard  University,  has  said:  "Every  year 
Harvard  sends  out  men — some  of  them  high  scholars — whose 
manuscripts  would  disgrace  a  boy  of  12;  and  yet  the  College 
can  hardly  be  blamed,  for  she  cannot  be  expected  to  conduct 
an  infant-school  for  adults."  The  cure  is  for  engineering 
colleges  to  refuse  degrees  to  illiterate  students  or  to  those  who 
show  no  regard  for  precision  of  language;  meanwhile  making  an 
*  Whose  'Principles  of  Rhetoric '  is  a  most  useful  textbook. 


GENERAL   PRINCIPLES  3 

effort  to  remedy  the  defect  by  giving  the  necessary  instruc- 
tion. 

There  should  be  no  need  to  lay  stress  upon  the  part  that 
writing  plays  in  an  engineer's  life.  Until  he  accomplishes  some 
notable  work  he  is  known  to  most  other  men  only  through 
his  writings,  in  the  form  of  letters,  articles,  and  reports.  In 
default  of  personal  acquaintance,  a  man — particularly  a  young 
man  with  his  reputation  yet  to  make — is  likely  to  be  judged  by 
his  official  letters.  From  the  style  of  these,  his  correspondents 
infer  the  quality  of  his  mind  and'  the  order  of  his  method. 
The  ability  to  write  a  terse  report,  to  state  facts  plainly,  and 
to  convey  information  intelligibly  wins  instant  respect  for 
him  and  opens  the  door  to  wider  opportunity.  Similarly,  an 
article  contributed  by  an  engineer  to  a  technical  periodical 
may  mark  him  as  well-informed,  careful  in  observation,  and 
accurate  in  statement.  An  agreeable  and  capable  writer  makes 
friends — even  clients — of  his  readers.  To  be  known  honorably 
is  capital. 

My  own  experience  shows 'that  nicety  of  phrasing  is  regarded 
by  many  engineers  as  almost  effeminate.  Several  of  those 
whose  writings  I  have  revised  would  applaud  the  statement 
of  a  Denver  editor  that  literary  form  is  "a  mere  frill";  all  that 
is  needed,  said  he,  is  "to  get  there,"  that  is,  to  say  what  you 
have  to  say  in  your  own  way,  no  matter  how  imperfectly,  so 
long  as  you  say  it.  This  goes  to  the  heart  of  the  matter.  You 
may,  of  course,  make  yourself  intelligible  even  if  you  disregard 
many  of  the  principles  of  the  art — for  writing  is  an  art — but 
this  lecture  was  not  intended  for  those  who  are  satisfied  with 
such  a  performance.  Although  you  may  make  yourself  under- 
stood in  some  measure  by  following  such  a  method — or  lack 
of  method — you  cannot  convey  your  ideas  clearly,  and  fine 
distinctions  of  meaning  will  elude  you  completely.  Further- 
more, such  writing  will  stamp  you  as  uncultured,  careless, 
and  therefore  not  equipped  for  scientific  work.  The  aim  of 
all  of  us — not  the  Denver  editor  alone — is  to  "get  there," 
that  is,  to  accomplish  our  purpose.  "For,"  as  Hamlet  says, 


4  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"every  man  has  business  and  desire,  such  as  it  is."  What  then 
is  the  purpose  of  writing?  It  is  to  convey  ideas:  to  tell  what 
we  have  seen,  what  we  think,  what  we  believe.  Language  is 
a  vehicle  of  expression;  it  was  not  intended  for  soliloquy; 
civilized  man  does  not  live  by  himself,  nor  does  he  talk  to 
himself,  except  when  he  is  drunk. 

Assuming  therefore  that  the  purpose  of  writing  is  to  convey 
ideas,  and  that  ideas  cannot  be  conveyed  without  adequate 
technique  of  utterance,  let  us  consider  how  to  attain  effective 
expression.  No  one  can  attain  it  without  care  and  without 
method,  least  of  all  when  he  is  discussing  technology  or  explain- 
ing matters  requiring  mental  effort  on  the  part  of  both  the 
persons  concerned,  the  writer  and  the  reader.  At  best  human 
speech  is  an  inadequate  vehicle  of  thought;  much  of  the  idea 
is  lost  in  transit;  the  part  that  reaches  its  destination  is  travel- 
worn.  Rarely  does  a  thought  impinge  upon  the  reader's  mind 
with  quite  the  freshness  and  the  vigor  with  which  it  issued  from 
the  brain  of  the  writer.  To  expect  to  succeed  without  effort 
is  childish,  because  it  is  contrary  to  experience ;  as  if  a  farmer, 
going  to  market,  were  to  put  his  potatoes,  not  in  sacks,  but 
loosely  into  a  wagon  that  needed  repair,  and  then  should  take 
any  road  that  offered,  driving  without  regard  to  ruts  or  stones, 
rapidly  and  recklessly — just  to  get  there — with  the  result  that 
many  of  the  potatoes  were  thrown  out  of  the  wagon  and  those 
which  survived  the  journey  were  so  bruised  as  to  be  unfit  for  sale. 
Another  farmer,  with  more  sense,  puts  his  potatoes  into  sacks, 
which  are  packed  securely  in  a  tight  wagon,  with  axles  well  oiled 
and  brake  in  good  order.  He  selects  the  road  that  leads  as 
directly  as  possible  to  his  destination,  driving  carefully  and 
avoiding  obstacles,  so  as  to  deliver  his  potatoes  speedily 
and  safely  at  the  nearest  market,  where  they  promptly  fulfill 
his  purpose.  He  "gets  there"  in  the  full  meaning  of  the  phrase; 
the  other  fellow  fails.  Henry  James,  in  an  address  at  Bryn 
Mawr,  said:  "There  are  in  every  quarter,  in  our  social  order, 
impunities  of  aggression  and  corruption  in  plenty;  but  there 
are  none,  I  think,  showing  so  unperturbed  a  face — wearing,  I 


GENERAL  PRINCIPLES  5 

should  slangily  say,  if  slang  were  permitted  me  here,  so  impudent 
a  'mug' — as  the  forces  assembled  to  make  you  believe  that  no 
form  of  speech  is  provably  better  than  another,  and  that  just 
this  matter  of  '  care '  is  an  affront  to  the  majesty  of  sovereign 
ignorance." 

Before  proceeding  further  I  think  it  proper  to  say  that  I 
speak  to  you  as  an  elder  brother.  Like  some  of  you,  I  was 
trained  to  be  a  mining  engineer  and  I  practised  my  profession 
for  18  years,  until  I  began  to  earn  my  living  as  a  journalist, 
15  years  ago.  It  is  as  a  technical  writer  that  I  address  you, 
as  one  in  sympathy  with  your  profession  and  keenly  aware  of 
the  importance  of  being  able  to  write  well.  I  have  long  been 
learning,  and  I  am  still  learning  by  the  application  of  the  ideas 
and  methods  that  I  offer  now  for  your  guidance.  I  speak  to 
you  as  a  student,  not  as  a  master;  as  an  amateur  who  has 
become  a  professional,  not  as  a  professor. 

Having  practised  the  art  of  writing  for  an  essentially  prac- 
tical purpose,  I  understand  the  difficulty  of  it,  and  also  the 
delight  of  doing  it  well  occasionally.  In  my  daily  work  as  an 
editor,  revising  manuscript,  I  am  often  astonished  to  see  how 
illiterate  the  scientific  man  can  be,  and  how  little  of  university 
culture  clings  to  the  engineer.  For  instance,  he  will  commonly 
use  the  word  'data'  as  if  it  were  of  the  singular  number. 

(1)  "The  data  is  [are]  plentiful." 

(2)  "Much  [many]  data  is  [are]  available." 

(3)  "It  was  not  possible  to  obtain  a  value  for  WOs  in 
scheelite  from  so  little  [few]  data." 

(4)  "There  will  be  less  [fewer]  data  from  which  to  make 
an  estimate."* 

(5)  An  officer  of  the  U.  S.  Geological  Survey  says:     "No 
data  is  [are]  available  concerning  the  supply  of  such  material." 

(6)  A  physicist  of  the  U.  S.  Bureau  of  Mines  says:    "Data 

*  In  the  examples  quoted  to  illustrate  these  lectures,  the  words  that 
should  be  omitted,  or  to  which  critical  attention  is  called,  will  be  given 
in  italic,  and  the  words  to  be  substituted  will  be  placed  between 
brackets. 


6  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

pertaining  to  these  condenser  systems  is  assembled  in  Table 
III." 

(7)  A  State  Mineralogist  writes:     "The  data  was  [were] 
obtained  by  making  personal  investigations  " 

A  similar  blunder  is  made  with  'phenomenon/ 

(8)  A  technical  journal  remarks:    "Sir  Oliver  Lodge  re-dis- 
covered the  same  phenomena  and  suggested  its  [their]  appli- 
cation to  purifying  the  atmosphere."     It  would  be  better  to 
say,  "and  suggested  that  they  be  applied  to  the  purification 
of  the  atmosphere." 

(9)  "Chemists  have  yet  to  agree  upon  the  explanation  of 
much  [many]  of  the  phenomena  to  be  observed."    • 

(10)  "The  use  of  rods,  instead  of  balls,  as  a  grinding  media." 
Perhaps,  as  Landor  suggested,  we  ought  to  anglicize  such 

Latin  or  Greek  words  and  write  datums,  stratums,  phenomenons, 
as  we  write  factotums  and  ultimatums,  without  apologizing. 
Indeed,  one  thoroughly  capable  metallurgist  objected  to  an 
editorial  correction  of  this  solecism.  If  a  university  graduate 
does  not  know  that  'data'  is  the  plural  of  'datum/  he  is 
no  better  informed  than  the  miner  who  speaks  of  "them  quartz" 
or  of  "stratas  that  prospect."  An  engineer  wrote  to  me  about 
the  "foliae"  of  the  schist  in  Rhodesia.  The  plural  of  folium,  of 
course,  is  folia.  Those  who  make  such  blunders  also  write 
about  the  "ration"  of  10:1  and  "the  Seward  peninsular." 

You  may  say  that  these  blunders  arise  from  ignorance  of 
Latin,  but  this  is  not  the  whole  truth;  they  come  from  ignoring 
good  usage,  and  from  reading  an  illiterate  daily  press.  The 
editor  of  the  San  Francisco  'Chronicle'  writes:  "Armed  with 
this  data,  the  U-boats  have  crossed  the  Atlantic  to  find  a  more 
fruitful  field  for  their  operations."  The  editor  of  the  'Exam- 
iner' says:  "Data  is  being  gathered  on  intensive  farming." 
It  may  not  be  necessary  to  be  a  classical  scholar  in  order  to 
write  good  English — such  as  John  Bright  spoke — but  I  believe 
it  true  that  some  knowledge  of  Latin  and  Greek  is  necessary  to 
an  intimate  understanding  of  English,  particularly  that  part 
of  it  which  deals  with  technical  science,  the  terms  of  which  are 


GENERAL  PRINCIPLES  7 

so  largely  derived  from  the  classical  languages.  Most  of  our 
Anglo-Saxon  words  have  been  so  long  used  to  describe  the 
every-day  affairs  of  life,  and  to  convey  simple  ideas,  that  they 
carry  connotations  unfitting  them  to  express  the  new  concepts 
of  science  and  the  precise  ideas  of  technology.  Our  civilization 
came  from  the  Mediterranean;  our  literature  came  through 
Bede,  not  Beowulf;  through  the  songs  of  Provence,  not  the 
sagas  of  Schleswig.  I  submit  to  you  that  the  Anglo-Saxon 
tradition  has  been  over-done;  the  renaissance  of  learning  began 
in  Italy  and  its  voice  was  Latin.*  It  speaks  in  the  two  classics 
of  English  literature,  the  King  James  version  of  the  Bible  and 
the  plays  of  Shakespeare.  Nearly  two-thirds  of  the  words  in  the 
English  language  are  of  Latin  derivation.  I  do  not  refer  to 
colloquial  language,  but  to  literature.  The  idea  that  the  purity 
and  simplicity  of  our  literature  depend  upon  the  use  of  words  of 
Anglo-Saxon  origin  is  based  upon  a  fallacy.  In  the  foregoing 
sentence  "word"  is  Anglo-Saxon,  "idea"  is  Greek,  but  "purity," 
"simplicity,"  "literature,"  "depend,"  "use,"  "origin,"  "based," 
and  "fallacy"  are  all  from  the  Latin.  These  are  the  principal 
words;  the  grammatical  links,  of  course,  are  Anglo-Saxon, 
which  is  the  matrix  of  English. 

Since  the  advancement  of  science  in  the  Victorian  period,  the 
vocabulary  of  technology  has  grown  rapidly,  borrowing  words 
from  the  languages  of  ancient  learning,  so  that  now  a  scientific 
man  can  hardly  speak  or  write  intelligently  without  knowing 
the  derivation  of  the  terms  he  is  compelled  to  use.  Do  not  use 
words  unless  you  know  their  meaning.  If  your  classics  were 
skimped  at  school,  study  the  dictionary;!  above  all,  read  the 
best  writings.  "Imitation  is  the  sincerest  flattery."  There 
is  a  good  deal  of  what  Marion  Crawford  called  "the  everlasting 
monkey"  in  man.  That  reminds  me  of  Stevenson's  phrase 
"sedulous  aping."  He  recommended  the  imitation  of  good 
writers  for  the  sake  of  acquiring  style,  and  described  how  he 

*  *  The  Art  of  Writing/  by  Sir  Arthur  Quiller-Couch.  Lectures  VIII 
and  IX. 

f '  The  Concise  Oxford  Dictionary '  can  be  bought  for  one  dollar. 


8  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

himself  learned  to  write  while  a  student  at  Edinburgh,  by 
imitating  passages  from  Macaulay  for  a  month,  then  copying 
Froude  for  another  month,  then  Carlyle,  and  so  on;  thereby 
attaining  the  felicity  of  expression  for  which  he  became  famous. 
But,  be  it  noted,  Stevenson  did  this  for  practice  only;  it  did 
not  prevent  him  from  acquiring  a  style  all  his  own,  because  he 
did  not  subject  himself  intellectually  to  another  writer  by 
setting  him  up  as  an  idol. 

If  so  many  of  our  young  engineers  write  uncouthly,  it  is 
because  they  read  so  little  good  literature.  The  time  given 
to  the  piffle  of  the  press  is  lamentable.  Our  grandfathers  used 
to\ead  the  Bible  daily;  we  read  the  daily  newspaper.  Even 
the  magazines  rarely  furnish  safe  models  of  writing,  and  the 
ordinary  textbook  is  but  the  dry  bones  of  a  great  art.  If  you 
would  absorb  style  subconsciously  read  Huxley's  essays  and 
Froude's  short  studies;  read  Ruskin  and  Stevenson;  read 
Defoe's  ' Robinson  Crusoe'  again  and  Darwin's  'Voyage  of 
the  Beagle';  read  Washington  Irving's  'Alhambra'  and  John 
Muir's  'Climbing  the  Sierras';  but  in  order  to  appreciate 
such  books,  and  learn  from  them,  you  must  read  intensively — 
the  kind  of  reading  that  learns  its  lesson  when  done  once,  and 
once  only. 

Of  style  it  is  too  early  to  speak,  "yet  the  man  of  science 
ought  best  to  know  that  style  and  matter  can  no  more  be  dis- 
sociated than  skin  and  bone.  In  scientific  prose  words  should 
be  used  as  symbols  in  mathematics."*  Our  first  aim  is  to  be 
understood.  The  art  of  writing  is  based  on  scientific  method. 
Science  is  organized  common  sense.  A  blunder — made  not 
infrequently  even  by  scientific  men — is  to  assume  that  good 
writing  is  extrinsic  to  its  subject.  On  the  contrary,  "science 
and  literature  are  not  two  things,  but  two  sides  of  the  same 
thing."  Huxley  said  that;  and  he  illustrated  his  own  maxim, 
so  that  his  writings  became  as  glimpses  of  the  obvious  and  his 
lectures  as  windows  into  the  infinite.  Science,  I  repeat,  is  not 

*  Sir  Clifford  Allbutt,  whose  '  Notes  on  the  Composition  of  Scientific 
Papers '  can  be  heartily  recommended  to  the  technical  student. 


GENERAL  PRINCIPLES  9 

divorced  from  literature,  and  no  valid  reason  exists  why  tech- 
nology should  be  regarded  as  if  it  were  legally  separated  from 
good  English.  Technical  writing  is  the  precise  expression  of 
special  knowledge.  The  information  of  the  average  man  is 
like  a  turbid  solution,  the  technology  of  an  engineer  is  like  a 
clean  precipitate;  the  one  is  amorphous,  the  other  crystalline. 
"The  development  of  the  mind  is  an  advance  from  the 
indefinite  to  the  definite."  The  technical  man  in  his  processes, 
whether  of  the  mill  and  mine,  or  in  the  reducing  operations  of 
his  own  mind,  follows  a  similar  line  of  action.  His  constant 
effort  is  to  distinguish  between  what  he  knows  and  what  he 
thinks  he  knows,  between  fact  and  fancy,  between  observation 
at  first-hand  and  information  at  second-hand.  When  he 
begins  to  place  himself  on  record,  he  should  follow  the  same 
mental  process,  but  with  a  difference :  in  his  technical  operations 
he  deals  with  insentient  matter;  in  his  technical  writing  he 
must  keep  in  mind  the  human  element;  for  he  is  recording 
himself  not  in  the  sand  of  the  sea-shore,  but  on  paper  to  be 
read  and  criticized  by  his  fellows.  Thus  I  come  to  a  fundamental 
rule:  REMEMBER  THE  READER.  The  Denver  editor,  who  was  con- 
temptuous of  the  effort  to  write  well,  ignored  this  rule.  Spencer, 
who  studied  style  as  an  adjunct  to  philosophy,  said:  "The 
good  instructor  is  one  in  whom  nature  or  discipline  has  produced 
what  we  may  call  intellectual  sympathy— such  an  insight  into 
another's  mental  state  as  is  needed  rightly  to  adjust  the  sequence 
of  ideas  to  be  communicated."  If  you  wish  to  communicate 
ideas,  you  must  think  of  the  other  fellow,  of  the  man  at  the 
other  end  of  the  line  of  mental  communication  represented 
by  your  writing.  Thus,  in  order  to  be  effective,  you  must  be 
sympathetic;  you  will  spare  the  reader  doubt  as  to  the  meaning 
of  what  you  have  written,  perplexity  caused  by  the  turgidity 
of  your  style,  annoyance  at  the  queerness  of  your  terms,  and 
weariness  due  to  verbosity.  You  will  communicate  what  you 
wish  to  say  in  language  involving  the  least  trouble  to  the  reader. 
Some  trouble  he  himself  must  take;  for  he  also  must  be  sym- 
pathetic and  willing  to  expend  his  brain-tissue.  Avoid  ties- 


10  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

passing  on  his  patience.  "Those  are  the  most  effective  modes 
of  expression  which  absorb  the  smallest  amount  of  the  recipient's 
attention  in  interpreting  the  symbols  of  thought,  leaving  the 
greatest  amount  for  the  thought  itself."  So  said  Spencer. 
This  is  the  first  great  principle  of  writing :  economy  of  mental 
effort  on  the  part  of  the  reader.  Put  yourself  in  his  place,  I 
repeat;  if  you  do  so  sincerely,  you  will  avoid  most  of  the 
errors  that  prevent  language  from  becoming  pictorial  and 
that  retard  the  transmission  of  thought. 

I  spoke  just  now  of  economizing  the  mental  effort  of  the 
reader.  The  writer  can  achieve  that  only  by  being  willing  to 
take  pains  himself.  If  you  read  a  technical  article,  for  example, 
and  find  that  you  understand  it  easily  and  comfortably,  obtain- 
ing useful  information  without  undue  mental  fatigue,  you  may 
rest  assured  that  somebody  else  has  taken  trouble  over  the 
article  and  thereby  spared  you  the  labor  of  probing  his  meaning. 
Either  the  author  has  made  an  effort  to  be  understood,  or  the 
editor  has  corrected  and  revised  the  manuscript  so  as  to  make 
the  rough  places  smooth.  Somebody  must  put  hard  work  into 
every  technical  article  that  is  written  for  publication;  if  not 
the  author,  then  the  editor;  if  both  the  author  and  the  editor 
shirk  their  duty,  the  reader  will  have  a  headache.  Therefore, 
REMEMBER  THE  READER.  As  Allbutt  says:  "A  writer  who 
writes  to  convince  and  not  merely  to  see  his  name  in  print  must 
learn  to  lay  his  mind  alongside  that  of  his  reader." 

The  next  desirable  thing  is  to  have  a  reader  worthy  of 
respect,  so  as  to  stimulate  you  to  honorable  effort.  Most  of 
the  letters,  reports,  or  articles  that  the  engineer  is  called  upon 
to  write  are  addressed  to  persons  whom  he  respects.  I  assume 
therefore  that  you  are  writing  to  somebody  or  to  some  group 
of  persons  to  whom  you  wish  to  convey  technical  information 
or  scientific  opinions  effectively  and  pleasantly.  To  accomplish 
this  purpose  your  writing  must  be  natural,  clear,  precise,  and 
convincing. 


II.    NATURALNESS. 

The  key-note  of  good  writing,  as  of  good  manners,  is  B 
natural.  Sincerity  is  the  first  requisite  for  effective  writing. 
When  a  man  says  what  he  knows  or  believes,  he  is  likely  to 
be  interesting,  because  each  human  being  possesses  an  indi- 
viduality, a  point  of  view,  or  a  range  of  sympathy  that  makes 
him  different  from  his  fellows.  To  say  or  to  write  what  you  do 
not  think,  for  the  mere  sake  of  talking  or  writing,  is  a  cerebral 
exercise  that  must  be  performed  with  extraordinary  skill  if  it 
is  to  be  attractive.  Affectations  are  rarely  attractive,  rarely 
effective.  To  be  natural  is  to  be  yourself,  not  a  poseur;  to  give 
the  reader  the  best  of  yourself,  instead  of  re-warming  the  baked- 
meats  of  yesterday.  Quotations — which  are  second-hand 
thoughts — will  serve  occasionally  when  the  thing  you  want  to 
say  has  been  said  so  well  by  another  that  it  would  be  waste 
of  energy  to  try  to  say  it  better;  but,  as  a  rule,  the  utterance 
of  the  writer  himself  is  more  interesting  than  the  quotation, 
because  the  writer  brings  something  of  himself  to  bear  on  the 
subject  and  for  the  moment  is  more  in  touch  with  the  reader 
than  any  dear  departed  author.  Therefore,  say  things  as  best 
you  can  in  your  own  way,  neither  in  borrowed  words  nor  in  the 
phraseology  that  mimics  another.  Write  as  if  you  were  speak- 
ing to  a  person  whom  you  are  anxious  to  persuade  or  convince. 
You  will  then  write  better  than  you  speak,  because,  in  the 
first  place,  you  can  be  more  deliberate,  and  secondly,  you 
can  revise  what  you  have  written. 

Speaking  and  writing  are  similar  mental  acts,  with  a  dif- 
ference: the  difference  between  eating  food  raw  and  eating  it 
cooked.  Some  kinds  of  food  gain  nothing  by  being  cooked; 
likewise  some  kinds  of  utterance  are  not  bettered  by  being 
written  down  first;  but  most  expressions  of  thought,  especially 

11 


12  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

those  that  deal  with  complex  ideas,  must  undergo  preparation 
before  they  may  be  digested  comfortably.  The  transactions 
of  engineering  societies  are  overburdened  with  half-baked 
chunks  of  knowledge  that  provoke  mental  dyspepsia.  How 
palatable,  on  the  other  hand,  is  the  carefully  prepared  article 
that  has  been  seasoned  with  Attic  salt,  served  with  a  sauce 
piquante,  and  dressed  with  the  parsley  of  pleasant  fancy — 
like  the  writings  of  Rossiter  Raymond  or  of  Clarence  King. 

Composition,  however,  is  less  natural  than  speaking.  The 
pen  or  the  pencil  intervenes  between  the  thought  and  the 
expression,  introducing  an  element  of  artificiality,  as  well  as 
one  of  deliberation.  The  spoken  word  cannot  be  recalled: 
the  written  word  can  be  erased.  Yet  it  is  unwise  to  criticize 
your  writing  as  it  proceeds,  for  such  self-criticism  tends  to 
embarrassment  or  self -consciousness.  'Revise  the  work  care- 
fully after  it  is  done,  not  before,  so  as  to  avoid  chilling  the 
warmth  of  composition  by  cold  analysis.  You  have  heard  of 
the  centipede  that  was  too  much  aware  of  his  many  legs,  and 
became  hopelessly  entangled.  Inopportune  self-criticism  will 
cripple  writing,  just  as  self -consciousness  prevents  most  men 
from  becoming  satisfactory  after-dinner  speakers. 

To  be  natural  in  writing,  you  must  have  something  to  say: 
something  concerning  which  you  feel  impelled  to  write.  To 
have  something  to  say  is  the  first  requisite  for  effective  speaking 
or  writing.  Most  speeches  and  many  writings  are  ineffective, 
if  not  worse,  because,  like  an  unhappy  golfer,  the  speaker  or 
writer  does  not  see  the  object  of  his  aim;  he  does  not  "keep 
his  eye  on  the  ball."  Wait  until  you  have  something  definite 
to  tell.  Only  a  fool  talks  for  the  sake  of  talking;  that  is  why 
so  many  speeches  fall  flat.  It  is  unnatural  for  a  man  to  write  for 
the  sake  of  exercising  his  index  finger  and  thumb;  that  is  why 
so  much  writing  is  a  weariness  of  the  flesh.  Make  sure  that 
you  have  something  to  say;  then  say  it;  and  when  you  have 
said  it,  stop.  "The  best  spoke  in  the  wheel  is  the  fittest,  not 
the  longest." 

The  story  is  told  that  President  Wilson,  when  a  boy,  used 


NATURALNESS  13 

to  read  to  his  father  whatever  he  wrote.  Whereupon  his 
father  would  ask,  "What  do  you  mean  by  that?"  He  would 
explain.  "Then  write  it,"  was  the  advice.  If,  after  writing 
something,  you  ask  yourself  'What  do  I  mean?'  you  may 
discover  that  you  have  not  written  what  you  meant  to  say. 

The  student  while  at  college,  and  for  some  time  afterward, 
is  occupied  mainly  with  the  effort  to  acquire  knowledge.  To 
write  is  to  convey  information  to  others,  which  is  the  reverse 
of  the  normal  youthful  attitude;  it  involves  a  pose  difficult 
to  assume  gracefully  or  effectively  without  practice;  but  such 
practice  should  be  encouraged,  because  the  effort  to  record 
thought  involves  the  mobilization  and  marshalling  of  ideas, 
a  disciplinary  effort  highly  beneficial  to  the  student's  mind. 
Therefore,  it  were  well  if  some  exercise  in  writing  could  be 
taken  during  the  early  process  of  acquiring  knowledge. 

To  write  naturally,  you  must  exercise  the  faculty  of  writing 
until  it  becomes  flexible  and  strong.  The  best  way  to  learn 
how  to  swim  is  to  plunge  into  the  water.  Most  of  those  who 
write  well  have  written  a  good  deal,  but  you  may  be  sure  that 
they  have  not  published  all  of  it.  Do  your  preliminary  canter- 
ing in  the  paddock,  not  on  the  racecourse.  The  good  writers 
obtained  their  reputation  by  being  wise  enough  to  keep  their 
preliminary  trials  to  themselves;  meanwhile  they  noted  the 
results  obtained  from  the  methods  used  by  others.  Ben  Jon- 
son  said,  "For  a  man  to  write  well  there  are  three  necessaries: 
to  read  the  best  authors,  observe  the  best  speakers,  and  much 
exercise  of  his  own  style."  Naturalness  comes  from  exercise, 
not  from  lack  of  care. 

Aristotle  said,  long  ago:  "Naturalness  is  persuasive  and 
artificiality  the  reverse;  for  people  take  offence  at  an  artificial 
speaker,  as  if  he  were  practising  a  design  upon  them,  in  the 
same  way  as  they  take  offence  at  mixed  wines."* 

Some  technical  writers,  aiming  to  be  natural,  succeed  only 
in  being  sloppy. 

(1)  "If  it  is  inconvenient  to  keep  the  muck  [waste  rock] 

*  'The  Rhetoric  of  Aristotle'.    Translated  by  J.  E.  C.  Welldon,  1886. 


14  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

drawn  off,  tap  the  dirt-way  [ore-chute]  a  few  feet  up,  on  the 
opposite  side  of  the  man-way." 

The  writer  is  describing  a  method  of  mining  and  uses  the 
language  of  an  uneducated  laborer,  perhaps  with  the  idea  that 
it  sounds  'practical.'  Here  are  two  more  examples: 

(2)  "With  the  advent  [completion]  of  the  new  mill,  which 
has  a  capacity  of  over  100  tons  per  day,  the  haulage  problem 
becomes  one  for  careful  consideration  [important]," 

' Advent'  means  the  season  before  the  Nativity;  it  is  also 
used  when  referring  to  an  important  arrival,  not  the  starting 
of  a  stamp-mill.  The  last  sentence  in  the  quotation  exempli- 
fies the  use  of  an  abstract  phrase  instead  of  a  concrete  word. 
The  language  is  'natural7  to  a  semi-literate  promoter  but  not 
to  an  educated  engineer.  Do  not  mistake  vulgarity  for  ease, 
nor  inaccuracy  for  freedom. 

(3)  "The  process  is  said  to  have  done  such  satisfactory 
work  that  other  plants  [operators]  have  been    contemplating 
[considering]  the  installation  [adoption]  of  the  process  [it]." 

This  also  illustrates  an  uncouthness  that  simulates  natural- 
ness. The  writer,  a  graduate  of  a  university,  has  fallen  into 
the  style  of  those  about  him  in  a  mining  community.  The 
'contemplation'  of  plans,  the  'installation'  of  plants,  the  'inau- 
guration' of  methods,  and  the  'prosecution'  of  developments 
are  the  stock-in-trade  of  local  reporters  and  of  the  equally 
illiterate  persons  that  play  the  mining  'game'  on  the  frontiers 
of  industry.  The  imitation  of  them  should  be  beneath  an 
educated  engineer. 

Young  men,  when  about  to  describe  a  mine  or  explain  a 
metallurgical  process,  are  prone  to  start  with  the  idea  that  they 
must  indulge  in  'fine'  writing;  meaning  thereby  a  style  pitched 
several  tones  higher  than  is  habitual  to  them.  When  they 
prepare  matter  that  is  to  be  printed,  they  affect  a  vocabulary 
and  a  phraseology  foreign  to  them;  like  the  queer  persons  that 
have  'society'  manners  as  distinguished  from  their  behavior  at 
home.  There  are  public  occasions,  of  course,  when  an  added 
dignity  of  bearing  is  befitting.  For  similar  reasons,  it  is  proper 


NATURALNESS  13 

that  the  irresponsibility  and  ease  of  ordinary  talk  should  give 
place  to  deliberate  thoughtfulness  when  one  is  making  a  busi- 
ness statement  or  preparing  matter  for  print;  but  the  extra 
effort  should  not  entail  a  pomposity  that  smothers  the  subject 
in  verbiage.  The  attempt  to  write  in  a  key  higher  than  that 
of  conversation  need  not  provoke  insincerity  or  affectation. 
It  requires  only  more  care  and  more  deliberation.  Write  as 
if  you  were  addressing  an  honored  senior  in  your  own  profession 
to  whom  you  desire  to  convey  information;  do  not  try  to 
impress  him  with  your  skill  as  a  stylist,  but  make  yourself 
perfectly  clear,  so  that  he  may  have  the  benefit  of  any  facts  or 
ideas  that  you  can  place  at  his  service.  As  a  warning,  I  quote 
the  following  description  of  the  Mount  Morgan  lode,  in  Aus- 
tralia : 

(4)  "It  may  be  considered  as  consisting  of  a  network  of 
veins,  traversing  on  the  one  hand  a  metamorphic  matrix  of  a 
somewhat  argillo-arenaceous  composition  and  on  the  other 
hand  what  appears  to  be  a  feldspathic  tufaceous  igneous  rock." 

This  is  metamorphosed  English  pseudomorphic  after  flap- 
doodle. Much  of  the  geologic  description  that  poses  as  pro- 
fundity is  rhetorical  rot.  Similarly  the  technical  terms  need- 
lessly used  by  half -educated  writers  remind  one  "of  the  French 
that  is  spoken  by  those  who  do  not  speak  French." 

A  Tasmanian  geologist  described  an  ore  deposit  as  due  to 
"the  effects  of  a  reduction  in  temperature  of  the  hitherto 
liquefied  hydro-plutonic  solutions,  and  their  consequent  regular 
precipitation.  These  ascended  in  the  form  of  metallic  super- 
heated vapors  which  combined  eventually  with  ebullient 
steam  to  form  other  aqueous  solutions,  causing  geyser-like 
discharges  at  the  surface,  aided  by  subterranean  and  irre- 
pressible pressure."  What  can  you  make  of  this  "geyser-like 
discharge"  of  language?  You  will  find,  if  you  take  the  trouble 
to  translate  the  pretentious  terms,  that  the  description  conveys 
a  minimum  of  information  with  a  maximum  of  sound:  "Full 
of  sound  and  fury,  signifying  nothing;"  or,  as  Ruskin  has  said, 
"Great  part  of  the  supposed  scientific  knowledge  of  the  day  is 


16  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

simply  bad   English,  and  vanishes  the   moment  you  trans- 
late it." 

Here  is  another  sentence  written  by  a  young  man  who 
also  mistook  sound  for  sense: 

(5)  "Since  the  installation  of  their  air-compressor,  a  new 
campaign  of  development  has  been  inaugurated,  operations 
have  been  extensively  prosecuted,  more  particularly  in  the 
Carboniferous  limestone,  which  is  usually  so  prolific  of  values, 
due  to  the  well  recognized  leaching  of  mineral  solutions  emanat- 
ing from  the  plu tonic  magma." 

Many  of  these  words  are  out  of  place;  a  bishop  is  installed, 
a  president  is  inaugurated,  a  criminal  is  prosecuted,  a  rabbit 
is  prolific.  Incidentally,  it  may  be  noted  that  the  water  that 
leached  the  limestone  probably  came  from  above,  not  from 
below;  originating  in  rain-fall,  not  from  the  depths.  These 
grandiose  words,  being  inappropriate,  fail  to  convey  a  definite 
meaning;  they  only  make  a  confusing  noise.  Probably  he 
meant  to  say: 

"The  use  of  the  new  compressor  has  greatly  expedited 
operations,  particularly  in  the  Carboniferous  limestone,  which 
has  been  enriched  by  mineral  solutions." 

This,  however,  is  not  satisfactory,  because  the  sentence 
contains  discrete  ideas,  wholly  unrelated;  therefore  they  should 
be  separated,  thus: 

"The  use  of  the  new  compressor  has  greatly  expedited 
operations,  particularly  in  the  Carboniferous  limestone.  This 
is  important,  because  the  limestone  has  been  enriched  by 
mineral  solutions  and  therefore  is  a  likely  place  to  find  ore." 

Samuel  Johnson  exclaimed:  "Witness  the  immense  pom- 
posity of  sesquipedalian  verbiage;"  and  we  know  how  he  him- 
self sinned  in  that  way.  George  Meredith,  a  master  of  words, 
recorded  his  objection  to  "conversing  in  tokens  not  standard 
coin,"  which  is  what  'prosecute/  'install/  and  'prolific'  are  in 
such  a  context;  they  are  not  legal  tender  in  the  forum  of 
technology;  they  are  like  Canadian  quarters,  British  shillings, 
or  French  francs  tendered  to  a  merchant  at  Chicago  or  Denver, 


NATURALNESS  17 

legal  though  they  be  at  Montreal,  Manchester,  or  Marseilles. 
As  you  know,  I  hold  that  the  use  of  words  of  Latin  origin, 
usually  of  more  than  one  syllable,  is  helpful,  if  not  indeed 
unavoidable  in  expressing  ideas  current  in  technology,  but 
writing  becomes  incoherent  when  words  are  used  because  of 
their  sound  rather  than  their  sense.  Such  usage  bespeaks  a 
snobbishness  of  mind,  the  aping  of  erudition,  a  mere  pretence. 
If  a  man  knows  what  a  thing  really  is,  he  describes  it  as  black 
or  white ;  if  he  does  not  know  what  it  is,  he  masks  his  ignorance 
by  saying  in  long  words  that  it  partakes  of  the  general  quality 
of  grayness.  The  young  writers  who  clothe  meagre  ob,serva- 
tion  in  elaborate  words  soon  fall  into  the  habit  of  using  terms 
that  they  do  not  understand,  and  therefore  fail  to  make  them- 
selves understood,  if  indeed  they  do  not  convey  information 
that  is  positively  false.  The  employment  of  words  that  are 
unfamiliar  to  the  writer,  and  that  therefore  are  inconsistent 
with  his  own  way  of  saying  things,  serves  but  to  cripple  his 
power  of  expression.  He  may  get  into  a  tangle  by  dragging 
strange  words  from  afar.  When  he  does  find  himself  thus 
entangled  he  should  cut  loose,  stating  things  in  his  own  way, 
that  is,  in  plain  words  that  he  understands  thoroughly.  Again 
I  say:  REMEMBER  THE  READER.  If  you  do,  you  will  win 
respect  as  a  writer.  The  man  with  only  a  smattering  of  his 
subject  splashes  all  over  it  with  words  of  learned  sound  and 
unlearned  meaning,  because  the  ability  to  make  such  a  noise 
is  more  easily  acquired  than  the  reality  of  knowledge.  Huxley 
said  that  if  a  man  really  knows  his  subject,  "he  will  be  able  to 
speak  of  it  in  an  easy  language  and  with  the  completeness  of 
conviction  with  which  he  talks  of  an  every-day  matter.  If  he 
does  not,  he  will  be  afraid  to  wander  beyond  the  limits  of  the 
technical  phraseology  which  he  has  got  up."*  In  his  lectures 
to  working-men  Huxley  showed  how  the  fundamental  truths 
of  science  could  be  stated  in  the  simplest  and  most  illuminat- 
ing speech,  without  loss  of  accuracy.  Indeed,  the  ability  to 

*  The  concluding  phrase  illustrates  how  a  great  writer  may  lapse  into 
poor  English. 


18  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

explain  scientific  or  technical  matters  to  the  unlearned  is  a  test 
of  the  thoroughness  of  a  teacher's  understanding  of  his  subject. 
If,  for  example,  you  care  to  test  your  grasp  of  engineering  or  of 
geology,  try  to  impart  what  you  know  to  a  younger  brother 
or  sister.  That  is  a  good  test  of  your  understanding  and  of 
your  use  of  language. 


III.     CLEARNESS. 

The  notion  prevails  that  writing  is  a  knack :  that  the  skilful 
use  of  the  pen  is  a  gift  of  nature.  This  is  an  error.  Dogberry 
may  be  responsible  for  it;  he  said:  "To  be  a  well-informed 
man  is  the  gift  of  fortune,  but  to  write  and  read  comes  by 
nature."  Since  Dogberry  said  it,  we  may  be  sure  that  Shake- 
speare thought  otherwise.  Ability  of  any  sort  may  be  partly 
innate,  but  my  own  observation  and  experience  lead  me  to 
conclude  that  most  of  the  easy  writers  have  become  so  by 
constant  practice.  As  I  recall  those  who  have  won  reputations 
with  their  pens,  I  remember  that  most  of  them  have  written  a 
great  deal  and  have  taken  particular  pains  to  improve  their 
style.  The  suggestion  that  proficiency  in  the  difficult  art  is  a 
happy  accident  calls  forth  an  ironic  smile.  The  larger  part  of 
the  great  writing  in  our  literature  is  the  result  of  persistent 
effort.  An  easy  fluency  has  been  the  undoing  of  many;  their 
flamboyant  and  fantastic  scribbling  has  proved  as  perishable 
as  froth. 

This  criticism  applies  to  technical  writing  also;  in  order 
that  a  technical  description  or  discussion  may  hold  the  interest 
of  the  reader,  at  least  long  enough  to  cause  him  to  read  it  to 
the  end,  the  writing  must  be  done  carefully  and  systematically; 
otherwise  it  will  fail  in  its  purpose  of  conveying  information. 
Clearness  is  absolutely  essential.  "It  is  not  enough  to  use 
language  that  may  be  understood ;  it  is  necessary  to  use  language 
that  must  be  understood."* 

From  first  to  last,  REMEMBER  THE  READER:   that  is  a  rule 
never  to  be  forgotten  in  any  kind  of  writing  except  the  diary. 
The  diarist  can  shoot  his  words  into  the  air;  yours  are  aimed 
at  the  intelligence  of  a  sympathetic  human  being.     Consider 
him;  if  you  do,  you  will  escape  half  the  pitfalls  awaiting  you. 
*  Quoted  by  Hill  from  Quintilian. 
19 


20  TECHNICAL  WRITING     . 

Clearness  of  statement  depends,  first,  on  the  choice  of  words; 
next,  on  the  order  in  which  they  are  arranged;  then,  on  the 
sequence  of  clauses  composing  a  sentence;  and,  finally,  on  the 
arrangement  of  sentences  in  a  paragraph. 

Select  the  word  that  is  appropriate  to  your  thought:  the 
word  that  pertains  to  the  thing  described. 

Food  is  wholesome;  climate  is  healthful;  a  person  is  healthy. 

A  foundation  is  permanent;  an  orebody  is  persistent. 

A  climate  is  equable;  a  contract  is  equitable. 

Judgment  is  held  in  suspense;  sediment,  in  suspension. 

A  problem  is  unsolvable;  a  mineral,  insoluble. 

The  force  of  steam  was  discovered;  the  steamboat  was 
invented. 

We  measure  distance  in  linear  feet,  but  pedigree  by  lineal 
descent. 

Good  writing  depends  not  so  much  upon  a  large  vocabulary 
as  upon  the  choice  of  words.  The  wrong  word  derails  the 
thought;  the  needless  word  is  an  obstruction.  A  writer  who 
flings  needless  words  about  him  is  like  a  swimmer  who  splashes; 
neither  makes  speed.  The  blue  pencil  of  the  editor  is  the  symbol 
of  amputation  because  we  recognize  that  it  removes  the  useless 
members  of  the  literary  structure.  Revision  commonly  denotes 
pruning.  The  dominant  fault  of  the  incapable  writer  is  the 
employment  of  too  many  words.  Even  practised  writers  err 
in  this  respect;  for  example,  H.  G.  Wells  is  fond  of  doubling 
his  adjectives,  thus: 

(1)  "In  the  preceding  chapters  there  has  been  developed, 
in  a  clumsy,  laborious  way,  a  smudgy,  imperfect  picture." 

More  than  one  adjective  may  be  needed  to  describe  an 
object,  but  each  adjective  should  have  a  distinct  meaning. 
Whether  the  adjectives  in  "smudgy,  imperfect  picture"  over- 
lap may  be  questioned.  The  proper  use  of  adjectives  and  the 
use  of  proper  adjectives  can  be  studied  profitably  by  any 
writer,  however  experienced. 

Verbosity  is  a  sign  either  of  carelessness  or  of  lack  of  time 
for  proper  care.  Pliny  wrote  to  a  friend,  nearly  1900  years 


CLEARNESS  21 

ago,  "I  have  not  time  to  write  you  a  short  letter,  therefore  I 
have  written  you  a  long  one." 

Avoid  words  you  do  not  know  fore  and  aft.  Don't  be 
tempted  into  the  use  of  high-sounding  terms  that  may  serve 
to  cover  ignorance.  Comprehensive  words  like  'development' 
and  'evolution'  are  often  mere  noise  and  smoke,  not  penetrat- 
ing shot.  As  the  old  lady  was  grateful  for  "that  blessed  word 
'Mesopotamia',"  so  that  comfortable  word  'metasomatic' 
has  cloaked  many  nebulous  notions  of  ore  deposition.  Like- 
wise 'dynamic'  is  sadly  overworked  by  perplexed  geologists. 

(2)  "The  dynamic  power  that  shattered  the  mountains 
and  created  fissures  in  which  the  ore  is  now  found." 

So  far  as  is  indicated,  the  "power"  might  have  been  dynamite. 
It  is  amusing  to  recall  how  Ruskin  twitted  Tyndall  for  a 
similar  indiscretion.  Tyndall  had  referred  to  a  certain  theory, 
which  was  in  debate,  affirming  that  it,  and  the  like  of  it,  was 
a  "dynamic  power  which  operates  against  intellectual  stagna- 
tion." Whereupon  Ruskin  commented  thus :  "How  a  dynamic 
power  differs  from  an  undynamic  one,  and,  presumably,  also, 
a  potestatic  dynamis  from  an  unpotestatic  one — and  how  much 
more  scientific  it  is  to  say,  instead  of— that  our  spoon  stirs 
our  porridge — that  it  'operates  against  the  stagnation  of  our 
porridge',  Professor  Tyndall  trusts  the  reader  to  recognize 
with  admiration." 

If  you  do  not  know  how  to  characterize  something  you  have 
seen,  do  not  imagine  you  have  done  your  duty  when  you  have 
labeled  it  a  'phenomenon'.  That  is  a  generic  term  conveying 
to  the  scientific  mind  the  idea  of  an  observed  fact,  especially 
with  relation  to  what  is  subject  to  change,  as  opposed  to  the 
essence  of  things;  in  a  loose  and  popular  acceptation  it  carries 
an  impression  of  the  unfamiliar;  in  either  case  the  label 
'phenomenon'  explains  nothing.  Macaulay  said :  "I  have  often 
observed  that  a  fine  Greek  compound  is  an  excellent  substitute 
for  a  reason." 

In  a  recent  controversy*  a  clever  technician  had  much  to 
*  Trans.  Inst.  M.  and  M.,  London,  Vol.  XXIV,  page  178. 


22  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

say  about  "erogenic"  when  discussing  the  source  of  ore  in  veins. 
He  made  bold  to  play  with  it  for  awhile,  but  Greek  terms,  like 
razors,  are  not  to  be  flourished  recklessly.  He  had  to  be  told 
that  'opos  means  mountain  and  that  'orogenic'  relates  to 
mountain-making,  not  to  the  genesis  of  ore.  Be  warned  there- 
fore :  know  what  words  denote  before  you  use  them. 

The  rule  is  to  use  the  word  that  will  be  understood  by  the 
reader  and  that  at  the  same  time  expresses  the  meaning  best. 
"Too  many  cooks  spoil  the  broth"  is  a  simple  statement,  which 
'Punch'  transformed  jocularly  into  "A  superfluity  of  culinary 
assistance  is  apt  to  exercise  a  detrimental  effect  upon  the 
consomme"  That  is  the  language  of  a  newspaper  reporter. 

Avoid  using  words  of  similar  sound,  but  of  different  mean- 
ing, in  the  same  context. 

(3)  When  preparing  this  lecture  I  wrote:     "By  the  way, 
I  must  ask  you  not  to  weigh  the  value  of  my  admonitions 
entirely  by  the  manner  in  which  they  are  conveyed  to  you." 
Noticing  the  similar  sound  of  'way'  and  'weigh',  I  deleted  the 
introductory  clause. 

(4)  "The  main  whistle  answers  with  two  long  blasts,  thus 
notifying  all  the  men  on  the  hill  that  the  blasting  is  over." 
Substitute  'calls'  for  "blasts." 

(5)  "The  requirement  from  the  management  [managers]  of 
reports  to  stockholders,   giving  a  detailed  account  of  their 
stewardship,  will  be  corrective  of  [correct]  many  of  the  abuses 
of  management  [corporate  responsibility]." 

(6)  "The  proportion  of  the  rainfall  that  sinks  into  the 
ground   naturally  varies   according  to   the   character   of  the 
underlying  rocks.    But,  whatsoever  the  nature  of  the  rocks  may 
be,  they  are  etc." 

This  was  written  by  a  geologist  pre-eminent  for  good  writ- 
ing— James  Geikie.  The  "naturally"  does  not  refer  to  'nature', 
it  means  'obviously'  or  'necessarily'. 

(7)  A  hydrographer  writes:     "This  is  well  illustrated  by 
well  records." 

(8)  "In  the  description  of  many  of  the  localities  described." 


CLEARNESS  23 

(9)  "The  problem  is  not  simple.    The  best  solution  would 
be  to  roast  the  ore  carefully,  forming  a  silver  sulphate,  which  is 
soluble  in  hot  water." 

(10)  "The  first  light  on  the  solution  of  the  problem  was  the 
discovery  that  the  gold  was  soluble  in  a  solution  of  an  alkaline 
mono-sulphide."     The  first  phrase  italicized  can  be  deleted; 
and  to  prevent  the  awkwardness  of  using  'soluble'  with  'solu- 
tion', it  would  be  an  agreeable  change  to  write  that  "the  gold 
dissolves  in  a  solution  of  an  alkaline  mono-sulphide." 

When  writing  concerning  a  chemical  solution,  do  not  refer 
in  the  same  paragraph  to  the  solution  of  the  problem;  likewise, 
when  writing  on  geology,  do  not,  in  the  same  context,  refer  to 
the  rock  formation  and  to  the  formation  of  the  ore  deposit. 
The  use  of  a  word  in  different  senses  causes  confusion  of  thought 
in  the  mind  of  the  reader. 

(11)  "The  guides  were  held  so  strongly  by  the  heavy  mass 
of  unset  [moist]  concrete  that  the  jar  from  passing  skips  only 
settled  [fixed]  them  more  firmly  into  place,  and  the  initial  set 
was  not  broken." 

He  may  mean  the  'set',  or  hardening,  of  the  cement,  but  as 
he  is  writing  concerning  shaft-work,  he  may  be  referring  to 
a  'set',  or  structure,  of  timber;  therefore  he  should  insert  'of 
the  concrete',  or  'of  timber',  to  explain.  This  use  of  'unset', 
'settled',  and  'set'  in  the  same  context  is  bewildering. 

(12)  "This  spherical  shape  can  be  maintained  only  if  the 
pressure  on  the  inside  is  greater  than  without.    Surface-tension 
only  can  account  for  this  excess." 

Here  'only'  is  used  twice  and  with  different  meanings.  The 
second  one  should  be  replaced  by  'alone'.  The  first  sentence 
can  be  improved  thus. 

"The  spherical  shape  cannot  be  maintained  unless  the 
pressure  &c." 

(13)  "A  loose  knot  is  one  not  held  firmly  in  place." 

(14)  "The  ore,  or  the  vein  itself  even,  is  hard  to  trace." 

(15)  "  This  machine  is  preferable  for  the  four  reasons  already 
indicated." 


24  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

Oliver  Wendell  Holmes  said:  "People  that  make  puns  are 
like  wanton  boys  that  put  coppers  on  the  railroad-tracks." 

When  you  use  a  word  that  has  more  than  one  meaning, 
make  clear  the  sense  in  which  you  are  using  it,  by  the  context 
or  by  an  explanation.  Of  two  words  that  may  be  employed  in 
the  same  sense,  select  the  one  susceptible  of  a  single  interpre- 
tation. 

(16)  "He  prepared  a  partial  account  of  the  events  that  pre- 
ceded the  strike."    Was  his  account  prejudiced  or  was  it  only 
incomplete? 

(17)  "This  required  the  partial  [part  of  the]  time  of  a  man 
who  might  be  using  this  time  [employed]  to  better  advantage." 

(18)  "Sometimes  partially  [partly]  formed  pyrite  crystals 
have  barite  between  them,  and  the  galena  crystals  are  partial 
[incomplete]  and  enclose  some  barite." 

(19)  The  'New  Republic'  says,  "In  order  to  justify  the 
sternness  of  the  protest-  the  case  itself  should  be  at  least  par- 
tially established."     Cases  may  be  established  partially,  that 
is,  with  partiality.    The  editor  meant  'in  part'  or  'partly'. 

(20)  "The  work  described  herein  forms  part  of  a  partially 
completed  [an  uncompleted]  study  of  sulphur  di-oxide." 

A  'partially'  completed  work  may  be  one  that  is  complete 
in  part  or  one  that  is  generally  unfinished. 

(21)  "It  is  impossible  to  amalgamate  coal-tar  thoroughly 
with  the  pulp  in  the  agitating-tank." 

In  milling,  'amalgamate'  refers  to  the  combination  of 
mercury  with  one  or  both  of  the  precious  metals.  To  use  this 
term  as  a  synonym  for  'mix  intimately'  or  'emulsify'  is  bewil- 
dering. 

(22)  "John  W.  Smith,  the  late  manager  of  the  Wild-Cat 
mine,  was  unable  to  make  it  pay." 

Is  Mr.  Smith  dead?  Was  he  the  former  or  was  he  the 
deceased  manager?  Or  was  he  merely  unpunctual?  If  he  was 
alive  when  the  sentence  was  written — and  he  was — he  should 
have  been  described  as  "lately  [or  recently]  the  manager". 

Avoid  needless  indirection,  as  by  using  a  double  negative. 


CLEARNESS  25 

(23)  "The  details  of  the  methods  used  abroad  are  not  un- 
known to  American  chemists." 

He  proceeds  to  state  that  they  are  thoroughly  known. 

(24)  "The  inefficiency  [efficiency]  of  labor  at  these  mines 
has  increased  [decreased]  very  little." 

The  affirmative  is  preferable  to  the  indirect  negative,  for 
example : 

(25)  "In  this  part  of  Mexico  the  vitreous  type  of  rhyolite 
is  not  uncommon  [common]." 

(26)  "There  is  no  reason  to  believe  that  the  mine  is  as  rich 
as  represented." 

"There  is  reason  to  believe  that  the  mine  is  less  rich  than 
represented." 

Possibly  the  ore  was  such  as  to  render  mining  unprofitable, 
then  "less  rich"  should  give  place  to  'poorer'. 

The  choice  of  the  right  article  is  important. 

(27)  "Reduce  the  loss  in  the  residue  to  a  [the]  minimum." 
He  said  'a'  as  an  elegant  variation  on  'the',  which  he  had 

used  twice  just  before,  but  the  use  of  'a'  before  minimum  sug- 
gests that  he  did  not  know  what  was  the  minimum  attainable. 

(28)  "I  used  a  process  in  which  manganese  oxide  serves  as 
purifier  of  the  electrolyte." 

He  means:  "I  used  the  process  in  which  manganese  oxide 
serves  to  purify  the  electrolyte."  It  was  a  particular  process, 
well  known  to  those  interested  in  the  subject — that  of  refining 
copper. 

(29)  "He  used  the  method  that  he  had  learned  while  at 
Broken  Hill,  in  Australia." 

The  'method'  is  not  explained  or  described;  it  remains  'a 
method';  therefore  'a'  should  replace  'the';  otherwise  his 
readers  are  likely  to  be  puzzled. 

Do  not  confuse  time  with  place.     For  example: 

(30)  "The  ore  sometimes  [in  places]  has  a  distinctly  banded 
structure." 

(31)  "Such  ore  deposits  are  of  frequent  occurrence  [numer- 
ous or  of  common  occurrence]  in  Nevada." 


26  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(32)  "This  kind  of  ore  is  frequently  met  with  in  Colorado." 
One  does  not  'meet'  ore  either  once  or  many  times;  the 

sentence  should  read: 

"This  kind  of  ore  is  found  in  many  mines  in  Colorado. " 

(33)  "  Meta-cinnabarite   is   not   a   very   common   mineral, 
and  when  [where]  it  does  occur  [is  found]  there  is  usually  some 
cinnabar  with  it." 

Delete  'very'  and  'with  it7,  thus  placing  'meta-cinnabarite' 
and  'cinnabar'  in  emphatic  positions  at  the  beginning  and  end, 
respectively,  of  the  sentence. 

(34)  "The  pyrite  outcrop  is  always  [everywhere]  oxidized." 

(35)  "These  crystals  are  sometimes  [in  spots]  as  much  as 
an  inch  in  diameter." 

(36)  "Richer  ore  is  invariably  found   when   [where]   the 
lodes  are  in  the  sandstone." 

(37)  "At  times  [in  places]  the  vein  pinches  to  a  mere  thread." 

(38)  "The  vein  when  [where]  it  is  thickest  breaks  into  small 
stringers." 

The  use  of  the  correct  adverbial  phrase  is  more  descriptive, 
it  evokes  the  correct  image  and  thereby  fulfills  the  purpose  of 
language. 

(39)  "This  coal  has  been  measured  in  several  instances  [at 
several  points  or  in  several  places]." 

(40)  "True  conglomerate  was  observed  on  rare  occasions 
[rarely  or  at  points  widely  separated]." 

(41)  "Only  part  of  the  time  [in  places]  will  erosion  expose  the 
formation  for  our  study." 

(42)  "The  formation  in  which  the  deposits  occur  is  horn- 
blende-schist, which  near  the  surface  is  often  [in  several  places] 
altered  to  chlorite-schist." 

The  introductory  clause  is  not  commendable;  he  is  speaking 
of  one  ore  deposit;  he  uses  the  plural  unnecessarily,  and  employs 
that  tiresome  word  'occur'.  He  means  to  say  that  the  'ore- 
bearing  rock',  or  the  'rock  enclosing  the  ore  deposit',  is  horn- 
blende-schist. 

(43)  "When  [where]  the  cost  of  sulphuric  acid  is  high,  and 


CLEARNESS  27 

where  the  quantity  of  shale  to  be  retorted  is  small,  then  [there] 
and  in  such  case  it  is  possible  that  the  probable  financial  results 
would  not  warrant  the  expenditure  of  capital  required  to  con- 
struct the  plant  for  the  manufacture  of  the  ammonium  sul- 
phate." 

It  is  not  a  question  of  time  but  of  place;  he  is  referring  to 
the  exploitation  of  shale  in  remote  localities.  "And  in  such 
case"  is  redundant;  it  is  a  mere  frill.  So  also  are  the  words 
"it  is  possible  that".  He  means  that  where  sundry  conditions 
prevail  there  "the  financial  result  probably  would  not  warrant 
the  expenditure." 

(44)  "The  rich  veins  diminish  often  in  richness  as  depth  is 
gained." 

If  they  diminish  "often"  they  must  soon  be  done  to  a  fraz- 
zle. It  does  not  require  a  Byzantine  logothete  to  inform  the 
student  that  the  adverb  must  be  put  as  near  as  possible  to 
the  word  it  modifies.  Here  'often'  modifies  ' diminish '  and  it 
might  precede  that  verb,  but,  more  truly,  'often'  modifies  the 
whole  statement  and  it  would  be  better  to  say  "  Often  the  veins 
diminish  in  richness  as  depth  is  gained."  But  he  does  not  mean 
'often';  he  means  that  'many'  or  'most'  of  the  veins  become 
impoverished  with  increase  of  depth,  and  he  ought  to  say  so. 

As  the  stage  reeled  close  to  the  edge  of  the  precipice  the  timid 
passenger  asked  the  driver,  "Do  people  often  fall  over  the  edge 
here?"  "No",  said  the  driver,  "only  once." 

(45)  "These  rocks  are  nearly  always  red." 
"Most  of  these  rocks  are  red." 

(46)  "These  pebbles  are  almost  never  striated." 

"Few  of  these  pebbles  are  striated,"  or  "Only  a  few  of  the 
pebbles  are  striated." 

(47)  "The  rock  contains  much  altered  plagioclase."     He 
means  not  a  large  proportion  of  altered  plagioclase  but  much- 
altered  or  greatly  altered  plagioclase.* 

*From  G.  M.  Wood's  'The  Principal  Faults  Found  in  Manuscripts 
Submitted  for  Publication  by  Members  of  the  United  States  Geological 
Survey.'  1907. 


28  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

1  Where'  is  used  awkwardly  when  not  referring  to  place: 

(48)  "I  gave  another  tabulation  where  the  addition  of  lime 
has  a  marked  retarding  effect  on  the  slime  settlement" 

Substitute  'showing  that'  for  'where',  and  use  'settling  of 
slime'  at  the  close. 

Do  not  hesitate  to  define  a  term  the  meaning  of  which  may 
be  doubted.  When  you  do  so,  avoid  the  use  of  terms  that 
themselves  need  to  be  explained.  As  Samuel  Johnson  said: 
"  To  explain,  requires  the  use  of  terms  less  abstruse  than 
that  which  is  to  be  explained,  and  such  terms  cannot  always 
be  'found.  For  as  nothing  can  be  proved  but  by  supposing 
something  intuitively  known,  and  evident  without  proof,  so 
nothing  can  be  defined,  but  by  the  use  of  words  too  plain  to 
admit  of  definition." 

Dr.  Johnson  sinned  grossly  against  his  own  precept;  for 
example,  he  defined  a  'network'  as  "that  which  is  reticulated 
or  decussated  at  equal  distances  with  interstices  between  the 
intersections."  A  fisherman,  when  a  witness  in  court,  defined 
a  net  as  "little  square  holes  with  string  tied  around  them." 

Dean  Swift  defined  an  archdeacon  as  "a  man  who  per- 
formed archidiaconal  functions."  Which  left  things  worse 
than  ever. 

Do  not  define  in  terms  that  need  to  be  defined;  do  not  spare 
definitions.  Many  technical  articles  lead  nowhere  simply 
because  the  writer  has  not  made  it  clear  whither  he  is  driving. 
To  discuss  the  persistence  of  ore  in  depth,  for  example,  is 
hopeless  unless  the  principal  terms,  'ore'  and  'depth',  are  defined. 
Definitions  tend  to  clear  the  thought  of  the  writer  just  as  they 
clarify  the  understanding  of  the  reader. 


IV.    PRECISION. 

"The  chief  aim  in  style  ought  to  be  absolute  precision", 
said  Flaubert.  "  There  is  only  one  noun  that  can  express  your 
idea,  only  one  verb  that  can  set  that  idea  in  motion,  and  only 
one  adjective  that  is  the  proper  epithet  for  that  noun."  Let 
this  be  your  motto.  The  engineer  aims  to  be  exact  in  all  his 
measurements;  he  should  measure  his  language  with  similar 
exactness.  The  technical  term  is  a  word  of  precision.  It  is  not 
only  precise,  it  is  a  word-saver.  To  the  unscientific  the  earth  is 
"a  ball  slightly  flattened  at  the  poles,  something  like  an  orange". 
To  the  scientific  it  is  "an  oblate  spheroid".  A  similar  contrast 
between  the  precision  of  the  technical  term  and  the  vagueness 
of  common  words  is  afforded  by  a  conversation  between  Ivanhoe 
and  Rebecca: 

"  '  What  device  does  he  bear  in  his  shield?'  asked  Ivanhoe. 

'  Something  resembling  a  bar  of  iron,  and  a  padlock  painted 
blue  on  a  black  shield.'  •! 

'A  fetterlock  and  shacklebolt  azure',  said  Ivanhoe" — using 
the  technical  terms  of  heraldry. 

It  is  good  style  in  writing,  however,  to  adapt  your  manner 
of  expression  to  the  intelligence  and  experience  of  the  person  or 
persons  to  whom  the  writing  is  addressed.  The  description  of 
a  mine  should  be  worded  differently  according  as  it  is  intended 
to  inform  a  mining  engineer,  a  director,  or  a  bishop.  REMEM- 
BER THE  READER. 

It  is  as  incorrect  to  write  in  a  technical  way  for  a  non- 
technical reader  as  to  write  in  a  popular  way  for  a  technical  or 
scientific  reader.  That  is  the  best  style  which  enables  the  writer 
to  place  himself  in  the  closest  mental  touch  with  his  reader,  to 
establish  a  maximum  of  sympathetic  understanding.  Let 
your  precision  be  proportioned  to  your  accuracy.  You  should 
not  try  to  be  precise  in  matters  that  do  not  admit  of  accuracy, 

29 


30  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

any  more  than  you  should  be  vague  in  matters  that  require 
exactness.  The  technical  writer  must  be  sincere.  Sincerity  is 
the  first  essential  of  all  good  work.  It  is  absurd  to  state  the 
average  value  of  the  ore  in  a  gold  mine  to  three  places  of  deci- 
mals of  a  pennyweight,  or  its  equivalent  in  money,  because 
no  sampling  and  assaying  can  be  done  so  accurately  as  to  give 
results  trustworthy  within  limits  so  narrow. 

The  engineer  for  the  Globe  &  Phoenix  mine  in  Rhodesia, 
for  example,  stated  the  average  assay-value  of  the  gold  ore  in 
that  mine  on  June  30,  1910,  at  32.259  dwt.  per  ton.  The  three 
decimals  were  only  a  florid  decoration.  The  same  engineer 
gave  the  total  tonnage  of  the  ore  as  174,788.  The  last  three 
figures  signified  nothing;  they  were  only  an  arithmetical  frill. 
He  could  not  ascertain  the  average  gold  content  within  half  a 
pennyweight  per  ton,  nor  could  he  estimate  the  available  ton- 
nage of  ore  within  a  thousand  tons.  The  sequel  proved  that 
even  these  limits  of  accuracy  were  beyond  his  skill. 

Another  engineer  gave  the  average  value  of  the  gold  content 
of  the  ground  to  be  dredged  on  the  Natomas  property,  in  Cali- 
fornia, to  four  decimals  of  a  cent  per  cubic  yard.  On  January 
1,  1909,  he  estimated  a  yardage  of  342,995,536  and  a  gross 
yield  of  9.9395  cents  per  cubic  yard.  In  each  set  of  figures  the 
last  three  were  merely  pretentious.  Such  meticulous  precision 
is  an  impertinence  to  the  profession;  it  is  an  imposition  on  the 
shareholders.  The  estimate  was  wrong  by  several  million 
dollars. 

Do  not  express  a  forecast  in  terms  of  history  nor  an  approxi- 
mation in  terms  of  measurement.  In  short,  in  writing  a  tech- 
nical report,  remember  that  good  style  calls  for  sincerity.  As 
elaborate  precision  of  statement  is  out  of  place  in  an  inexact 
generalization,  so  also  beauty  of  phrasing  may  defeat  the 
purpose  of  writing  if  it  be  intended  to  accomplish  a  non- 
aesthetic  purpose.  Ruskin  wrote  so  exquisitely  that  people 
missed  the  moral  of  his  utterance  in  the  enjoyment  of  his 
assonant  periods.  He  recognized  the  fact  too  late  and  expressed 
his  regret.  In  a  lecture  on  'The  Mystery  of  Life',  in  1868, 


PRECISION  31 

he  said:  "For  I  have  had  what  in  many  respects  I  boldly 
call  the  misfortune  to  set  my  words  sometimes  prettily  together; 
not  without  a  foolish  vanity  in  the  poor  knack  of  doing  so; 
until  I  was  heavily  punished  for  this  pride  by  finding  that  many 
people  thought  of  the  words  only  and  cared  nothing  for  their 
meaning." 

Suit  the  style  to  the  purpose;  fitness  is  the  essence  of  good 
taste. 

Words  like  'percentage'  are  terms  of  precision;  so  are  deci- 
mals; they  should  not  be  used  in  making  approximations  or 
rough  estimates. 

(1)  "The  operation  will  take  about  1.5  hours." 

The  statement  is  an  approximation  and  should  read: 
"The  operation  will  take  about  an  hour  and  a  half." 

(2)  "About  50%  [half]  of  the  old  hands  returned  each  sea- 
son." 

(3)  "The  tailings  from  the  vanners  consist  of  approximately 
75%  sands  and  25%  slimes." 

To  say  '75%'  is  not  an  approximation;  it  is  a  precise  state- 
ment, not  warranted  in  this  instance.  Note  the  unnecessary 
plurals. 

"The  tailing  from  the  vanners  consists  of  three  parts  sand 
and  one  part  slime." 

(4)  "This  increased  the  percentage  [proportion]  of  colloids 
in  the  flotation  cell." 

(5)  "A  large  per  cent  [part]  of  the  oil  lost  will  probably  be 
recovered." 

The  word  'percentage'  should  not  be  used  without  reference 
to  exact  figures;  it  is  a  term  of  precision  and  should  not  be 
employed  recklessly. 

(6)  "The  underflow  has  a  specific  gravity  of  1500" 

Do  not  use  zeros  where  they  are  meaningless.  He  wrote 
1.500  instead  of  1.5,  and  the  type-setter  did  the  rest. 

The  hankering  for  the  abstract  is  exemplified  by  the  vogue 
attained  by  'value'  and  'values'  in  mining  reports.  In  a  stope 
or  in  a  mill  the  use  of  'value'  in  this  way  may  cause  no  con- 


32  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

fusion,  even  if  it  be  an  objectionable  colloquialism,  but  in 
technical  writing  it  should  be  taboo,  as  the  very  type  of  all  that 
is  non-descriptive  and  unscientific.  "This  mill  is  intended  to 
extract  the  values  in  the  ore"  is  a  vague  way  of  stating  that  the 
mill  is  designed  to  extract  the  gold  or  silver,  the  copper  or 
the  zinc — in  short,  the  valuable  metals  in  the  ore.  In  one 
mill  the  zinc,  for  example,  may  be  not  only  valueless  but  a 
deleterious  impurity;  in  another  the  copper  may  be  insufficient 
in  quantity  to  be  extracted  profitably,  but  sufficient  to  inter- 
fere with  the  saving  of  the  gold  by  cyanidation.  '  Value'  is 
the  worth  or  desirability  of  a  thing;  it  is  an  attribute,  not  a 
substance.  A  man  who  designs  a  mill  "to  catch  the  values" 
might  as  well  build  a  railroad  to  pursue  a  quadratic  equation. 

(7)  "In  sinking,  the  values  were  lost."    Meaning  that  the 
ore  failed,  or  discontinued. 

(8)  "And  then  the  gold  values  are  precipitated  on  zinc 
shavings."     No,  it  is  the  metallic  gold  that  is  precipitated; 
you  can  precipitate  a  panic  by  reckless  banking,   but  you 
cannot  precipitate  anything  so  intangible  as  Values'  on  some- 
thing so  tangible  as  'zinc  shaving'.    As  the  farmer  said,  " It  ain't 
in  the  nature  of  things". 

(9)  A   mining   engineer   sent   a    cablegram   from    Nigeria 
stating:    "There  are  many  years'  work  ahead  and  from  actual 
results  the  ground  is  good  in  values" 

The  ground  might  be  rich  in  vulgar  fractions! 

(10)  "All  values  can  be  freed  from  the  gangue  by  better 
crushing."     The  gangue  will  be  much  relieved  when  these 
ghosts  are  exorcised. 

(11)  "It   might   be   supposed   that   the   beating   of   such 
particles  of  metallic  values  [metal]  against  the  side  of  the  tube- 
mill  would  anneal  them  and  put  such  values  [them]  into  leaf 
form." 

(12)  "The  gold  values  are  not  chemically  united  in  pyrite 
as  a  sulphide  of  iron  and  gold." 

He  means:   "The  gold  is  not  chemically  combined  with  the 
iron  in  the  pyrite  as  a  sulphide  of  iron  and  gold." 


PRECISION  33 

(13)  "  Better  values  are,  however,  obtained  above  the  1970- 
ft.  level  as  the  lode  is  opened  out  on." 

"Richer  ore  is  being  exposed  in  the  course  of  stoping  above 
the  1970-ft.  level." 

(14)  "Rich  sands  in  which  the  gold  and  platinum  values 
are  flaky  and  coated." 

Here  Values'  is  interjected  from  force  of  habit.  '  Value' 
cannot  be  "flaky  or  coated".  Delete  "values".  The  plural 
of  'sand '  is  not  required. 

(15)  "Along  the  rivers  the  values  are  coarser  than  in  the 
beaches." 

He  is  referring  to  the  particles  of  platinum;  he  should  say  so. 

(16)  "The  highest  copper  values  are  concentrated  along  the 
post-dacite  faults." 

"The  copper  is  concentrated  along  the  post-dacite  faults." 
Sufficient  examples  have  been  quoted.  The  misuse  of  this 
word  is  among  the  most  objectionable  of  technical  solecisms. 
It  connotes  utter  lack  of  precision.  In  every  case  it  tends  to 
befog  the  meaning,  for  even  if  the  reader  guesses  that  the 
writer  is  referring  to  a  particular  metal  or  mineral,  the  use  of 
Value'  suggests  su^h  a  proportion  of  the  metal  or  mineral  as 
will  yield  an  economic — that  is,  a  profitable — result.  Only  too 
frequently  Value'  is  used  to  designate  mineral  or  rock  con- 
taining too  little  of  the  valuable  metal  to  be  a  source  of  profit — 
that  is,  to  be  'ore'.  In  short,  the  woolly  use  of  Value'  becomes  a 
means  of  conveying  an  untruth.  No  word  in  the  vocabulary 
of  the  mining  engineer  requires  to  be  used  with  greater  care 
than  Value'.  It  is  a  disgrace  to  the  mining  engineering  pro- 
fession that  this  term  should  be  employed  so  loosely.  Sir 
Clifford  Allbutt  has  said  truly:  "It  is  strange  that  scientific 
men  who  habitually  work  in  dimensions  of  a  ten-thousandth 
of  an  inch  are  either  blind  to  gross  confusions  of  argument  and 
to  false  refractions  of  meaning  or  regard  them  with  indifference." 
One  of  the  greatest  enemies  to  precision  in  technical  writing 
is  the  use  of  the  abstract  instead  of  the  concrete.  An  abstract 
noun  denotes  quality,  state,  or  action,  apart  from  anything 


34  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

possessing  the  quality,  state,  or  action.    For  instance,  in  pre- 
paring my  first  lecture,  I  wrote 

(17)  "  Words  are   intended  for  the  conveyance  of  ideas." 
But  I  corrected  myself: 

"Words  are  intended  to  convey  ideas." 

(18)  Again,  I  wrote:   "If  you  do  so,  you  will  succeed  in 
avoiding  most  of  the  grosser  errors." 

This  I  changed  to: 

"If  you  do  so,  you  will  avoid  most  of  the  grosser  errors." 
Prefer  the  concrete  to  the  abstract.    The  use  of  the  abstract 
/     tends  to  circumlocution;  it  produces  obscurities  that  are  fatal 
to  precision. 

(19)  "Repair  work  was  greatly  facilitated  by  the  presence 
of  chutes  every  25  ft.  along  the  drifts." 

How  can  "the  presence"  of  a  chute  facilitate  repairs?  It 
is  the  use  of  it  that  helps.  He  meant: 

"The  work  of  repair  was  facilitated  by  using  the  chutes, 
which  had  been  placed  at  intervals  of  25  ft.  along  the  drifts." 

(20)  "Such  deposits  of  quartz  are  not  valuable  unless  they 
are  close  to  cheap  transportation." 

The  abstraction  'cheap  transportation'  is  a  mere  indirection 
in  place  of  the  concrete  idea  expressed  by  'railway'  or  'steamer' ; 
he  does  not  say  which. 

(21)  "When  tungsten  ore  occurs  in  disseminated  grains, 
it  is  more  difficult  of  detection  [to  detect]  than  when  it  is  found 
in  masses  of  considerable  size." 

(22)  "It  is  this  accumulation  of  ore  which  [that]  is  at  the 
same  time  the  cause  of  present  conditions  and  a  preventative  of 
an  early  release  of  the  embargo." 

This  statement  is  burdened  with  many  useless  words. 
"Preventative",  of  course,  is  a  sophomoric  blunder.  Even  'a 
preventive'  is  a  roundabout  way  of  stating  what  he  means. 
I  suggest  a  change  to : 

"This  accumulation  of  ore  threatens  the  market  and  pre- 
vents an  early  release  of  the  embargo."  The  embargo  refers 
to  the  refusal  of  the  local  smelters  to  treat  more  ore, 


PRECISION  35 

(23)  "When  the  oxygen  in  air  is  gradually  reduced  very  little 
effect  may  be  noticed  before  the  occurrence  of  impairment  of 
the  senses  and  loss  of  power  over  the  limbs." 

A  loss  of  power  in  the  writer's  pen  may  be  noticed  like- 
wise. His  two  abstract  nouns,  'occurrence'  and  'impairment', 
becloud  his  meaning  almost  to  the, vanishing  point.  He  means: 

"When  the  oxygen  in  air  is  reduced  gradually,  the  effect 
may  not  be  noticed  until  the  senses  are  weakened  and  the 
power  to  control  the  limbs  is  lost." 

(24)  "As  pig-iron  was  used  for  the  precipitation  of  [to  pre- 
cipitate] the  copper." 

(25)  "Fine  grinding  was  introduced,  and  with  it  the  more 
or  less  complete  elimination  of  amalgamation  as  one  of  the 
means  of  extracting  the  precious  metal  from  the  ore." 

To  introduce  "the  elimination  of  amalgamation"  is  not  good 
form  in  literary  society. 

"Fine  grinding  was  adopted,  and  amalgamation  became 
no  longer  necessary  to  extract  the  gold  from  the  ore."- 

(26)  "In  order  that  the  subsequent  sinking  through  the 
rock  to  the  coal-bearing  veins  could  be  proceeded  with." 

The  statement  is  improved  by  substituting  the  direct  phrase 
for  the  circumlocution,  thus: 

"  In  order  to  sink  through  the  rock  to  the  coal-seams  without 
further  delay." 

(27)  "He  continued  the  drift  so  long  as  the  richness  of  the 
ore  lasted  and  then  he  ceased  his  exploration." 

"He  continued  to  drift  only  as  long  as  the  rich  ore  lasted." 

(28)  "The   mill-superintendent   found   that   he   improved 
the  extraction  of  the  gold  by  a  previous  precipitation  of  the  copper 
in  the  ore." 

"The  mill-superintendent  found  that  he  could  extract 
more  gold  if  he  first  precipitated  the  copper  in  the  ore." 

(29)  "If  the  feast-days  were  not  of  such  frequent  occurrence 
[so  frequent]." 

(30)  "  Much  has  been  done  in  the  investigation  and  study  of  [to 
investigate]  the  local  geology."     Investigation  involves  study. 


36  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(31)  "The  glass  model  of  the  mine  is  most  instructive 
and  illuminating  in  setting  forth  the  nature  of  the  development, 
exploitation  and  geological  features  of  the  property." 

"The  glass  model  shows  admirably  the  development, 
exploitation,  and  geology  of  the  mine." 

(32)  "Anything  that  tends  toward  atrophying  [to  atrophy] 
the  power  of  the  individual." 

Nothing  tends  so  much  to  atrophy  the  function  of  writing 
as  the  frequent  use  of  the  abstract  instead  of  the  concrete. 
As  Spencer  said:  "Exactness  is  not  only  unappreciated  by,  but 
even  repugnant  to,  minds  in  low  stages/' 

(33)  "It  seems  rather  a  waste  of  opportunity  to  fall  back 
on  'basic  salts'  when  there  are  so  many  other  scintillating 
resources  open  to  our  pencil-and-paper  speculative  chemistry." 

He  spent  too  much  effort  in  scintillating  and  not  enough  on 
correct  expression;  he  uses  'chemistry'  for  'chemists',  the 
abstract  for  the  concrete,  and  thereby  spoils  his  rhetorical 
outburst. 

In  nouns,  prefer  the  concrete  to  the  abstract;  in  verbs,  choose 
the  active  voice  rather  than  the  passive,  and  the  positive  rather 
than  the  negative. 

(34)  "An  outline  of  the  process  may  be  of  help  to  those  not 
familiar  with  cyanidation." 

Delete  the  three  words  indicated. 

(35)  "These  alloyed  metals  are  the  most  difficult  of  solu- 
tion [to  dissolve]." 

(36)  "By  a  refusal  to  recognize  the  union  he  secured  an 
assurance  of  freedom  in  his  operations." 

"By  refusing  to  recognize  the  union,  he  assured  himself 
freedom  in  his  operations." 

(37)  "These  demands  for  supplies  must  be  anticipated, 
often  as  much  as  six  months,  to  allow  the  certainty  of  the  goods 
being  on  hand  when  needed." 

The  last  clause  should  read,  "so  as  to  have  the  goods  on 
hand  when  needed". 

(38)  "This  makes  it  necessary  to  determine  the  value  of 


PRECISION  37 

all  sorts  of  property,  a  task  which  [that]  will  be  productive  of 
[create]  endless  disputes." 

The  direct  statement  is  more  explicit. 

(39)  "This  makes  the  use  of  coal  for  generating  power 
prohibitive." 

"This  prohibits  the  use  of  coal  for  generating  power." 

(40)  "This  will  be  dependent  upon  other  conditions." 
"This  will  depend  upon  other  conditions." 

"A  remarkably  cheap  machine"  is  better  than  "A  machine 
of  remarkable  cheapness." 

"He  increased  the  speed  of  the  machine"  is  better  than 
"The  machine  was  given  an  increase  of  speed." 

As  Quiller-Couch  says:  "The  first  virtue,  the  touchstone 
of  a  masculine  style,  is  its  use  of  the  active  verb  and  the  con- 
crete noun.  When  you  write  in  the  active  voice,  'They  gave 
him  a  silver  teapot',  you  write  as  a  man.  When  you  write  'He 
was  made  the  recipient  of  a  silver  teapot',  you  write  jargon." 

Those  who  hanker  for  the  abstract  also  use  the  plural 
unnecessarily. 

(41)  "An  effort  to  obtain  further  reduction  in  working  costs." 
Here  we  have  an  abstract  noun  and  the  plural  used  to  make 

a  vague  statement,  instead  of  saying: 

"An  effort  to  reduce  the  working  cost  still  further." 

(42)  "The  extra  costs  to  be  met  with  as  depth  is  obtained." 
Why  the  plural  of  cost?    Note  also  the  childish  "to  be  met 

with".     He  means: 

"The  increased  cost  to  be  incurred  as  depth  is  attained." 

(43)  "The   ores  occur   in   limestone   and   are   thoroughly 
oxidized,  so  that  the  occurrence  of  galena  is  rather  uncommon." 

He  was  writing  about  the  ore  of  a  particular  mine  remarkable 
for  containing  a  peculiar  kind  of  galena  used  in  the  apparatus 
of  wireless  telegraphy. 

"The  ore  is  found  in  limestone  and  is  thoroughly  oxidized, 
so  that  galena  is  rare." 

(44)  "Resulting  in  less  losses  of  gold  and  lower  costs,  56  to 
35  cents  per  cubic  yard." 


38     ,  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

Why  the  plural?    He  means : 

"The  result  being  a  smaller  loss  of  gold  and  the  reduction 
of  the  cost  from  56  cents  per  cubic  yard  to  35  cents." 

(45)  "The  discoverers  were  guided  to  the  outcrop  by  the 
occurrence  of  the  gold  in  the  gravels  of  the  neighborhood." 

The  'occurrence'  did  not  guide,  them,  but  the  gold  they 
found. 

"The  discoverers  were  guided  to  the  outcrop  by  the  gold 
they  found  in  the  gravel  near-by." 

Why  gravels?  Because  it  sounds  more  comprehensive,  more 
inclusive,  more  magnificent.  The  squandering  of  that  valu- 
able inflection,  the  plural,  is  all  part  of  the  love  for  the  abstract, 
the  dislike  of  the  concrete.  In  the  above  example  the  writer 
referred  to  a  deposit  of  gravel,  possibly  to  more  than  one  deposit 
of  gravel,  but  not  to  several  kinds  of  gravel.  One  might  suppose 
that  each  bit  of  stone  in  such  an  alluvial  deposit  was  a  'gravel' 
and  that  the  accumulation  of  them  made  'gravels'.  Illiterate 
men  undoubtedly  retain  this  idea.  As  used  in  geology,  'gravel ' 
is  a  term  covering  a  particular  kind  of  deposit  and  the  collective 
form  of  such  a  deposit.  In  the  same  way  careless  writers  talk 
about  "a  vein  in  the  slates",  recalling  the  individual  slates  on 
which  they  did  sums  when  small  boys,  or  thinking  of  the 
'slates'  used  for  roofing.  In  geology,  'slate'  is  a  rock  char- 
acterized by  a  cleavage  independent  of  the  planes  of  sedi- 
mentation. 'Slates'  should  refer  to  several  series  of  such  rocks. 
The  man  who  uses  'gravels'  and  'slates'  when  he  means  to 
refer  to  a  deposit  of  the  one  kind  or  to  a  rock  of  the  other  kind 
has  squandered  a  useful  inflection;  and  when  he  really  needs 
the  plural  to  indicate  several  kinds  or  deposits  of  either  'gravel' 
or  'slate'  he  is  unable  to  do  so. 

Until  a  few  years  ago  it  was  the  invariable  custom  when 
referring  to  various  mill-products  to  speak  and  write  of  'slimes', 
'sands',  'tailings',  'middlings',  and  'concentrates'.  The  singular 
had  dropped  out  of  use.  Indeed,  habitual  carelessness  of  speech 
had  developed  such  an  absurdity  as  the  use  of  'tailings'  to  indi- 
cate the  pyritic  concentrate  collected  in  the  stamp-mills  of 


PRECISION  39 

Colorado,  and  the  employment  of  'rock'  to  designate  the  copper 
ore  of  Michigan.  Engineers  write  of  the  'ores'  of  a  mine  that 
produces  only  one  kind  of  ore  and  talk  of  the  'rocks'  that  a  vein 
traverses  when  it  is  wholly  encased  in  one  kind  of  rock. 

This  is  a  mormonism  of  style;  it  leans  toward  the  vague 
and  poetic,  as  we  speak  of  "the  sands  of  Time".  It  bespeaks 
that  inveterate  love  of  the  abstract  against  which  I  have  been 
warning  you.  In  technology,  the  unnecessary  plural  (I  had 
written  "these  unnecessary  plurals",  but  corrected  myself)  is 
an  obstacle  to  precision.  For  instance,  a  'concentrate'  is  the 
product  of  a  concentrating  process;  if  several  such  products 
are  obtained,  as  happens  frequently,  they  are  called  correctly 
'concentrates' .  Thus : 

(46)  "At  Broken  Hill  the  mills  produce  lead  and  zinc 
concentrates,  the  lead  concentrate  being  more  easy  to  sell 
than  the  zinc." 

Does  not  the  discriminating  use  of  the  plural  inflection  help 
to  make  the  meaning  clear?  Here  is  another  good  example: 

(47)'  "An  intimate  mixture  of  the  pyritic  and  the  lead  con- 
centrates is  made,  resulting  in  a  product  assaying  15  oz.  alike 
in  gold  and  silver,  and  about  25%  lead." 

These  two  products  of  concentration,  characterized  by  pyrite 
and  galena,  respectively,  are  mixed  to  form  one  product  before 
shipment  to  the  smelter. 

(48)  "Seven  different  slimes  were  tested,  the  results  being 
given  herewith.    These  slimes  are  derived  from  as  many  ores, 
from  different  parts  of  the  mine  or  from  several  dumps." 

Note  the  value  of  the  plural  in  'slimes',  'results',  'ores', 
'parts',  and  'dumps'. 

The  pulp  in  a  mill,  when  classified,  is  separated  into  a  coarse 
product,  'sand',  and  a  fine  product,  'slime'.  More  than  one 
kind  of  these  products  is  made. 

(49)  "An  experiment  was  made  on  two  sands  having  the 
following  analyses.    Which  sands  is  the  finest?" 

He  meant  "Which  sand  is  the  finer?"  A  more  intelligent 
writer  says: 


40  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(50)  "Here,  as  at  El  Oro,  one  can  calculate  exactly  the 
extraction  from  a  sand  when  the  sizmg-test  has  been  made." 

The  discard  from  a  mill  or  machine  is  the  'tailing'.  Suppose, 
as  often  happens,  that  the  discards  from  several  similar  machines 
are  mingled  while  on  their  way  to  be  re-treated  by  another 
kind  of  machine,  how  are  you  to  express  the  idea  if  you  have 
beggared  yourself  of  your  distinction  between  singular  and 
plural? 

(51)  "  This  idea  of  not  returning  the  middling  to  the  machine 
that  has  separated  it,  has  been  adopted  as  a  vital  principle  of 
the  mill.    The  middlings  of  the  classifying  jigs  (products  No. 
8  and  9)  and  the  hutch-product  (No.  13)  are  crushed  sepa- 
rately through  fine  rolls.     The  crushed  product  has  the  char- 
acteristic that  practically  all  the  galena  freed  by  crushing  is 
found  in  the  fine  sand  and  slime,  and  that  the  oversize  of  a  22- 
mesh  screen  (0.6  mm.  aperture)  does  not  eontain  sufficient 
free  galena  to  make  it  worth  while  to  concentrate  the  over- 
size before  re-grinding." 

Note  the  intelligent  use  of  the  singular  of  'middling'  in  the 
opening  sentence  and  the  effective  use  of  the  plural  imme- 
diately afterward.  If  the  plural  of  'sand',  'slime',  'oversize', 
and  'product'  had  been  employed  in  the  fashion  of  the  ordinary 
careless  writer,  the  meaning  of  the  statement  would  have  been 
fogged.  It  is  not  easy  to  write  clearly  on  such  highly  technical 
operations,  and  it  is  impossible  to  do  so  unless  we  use  every 
device  for  making  fine  distinctions.  One  of  the  elementary  dis- 
tinctions is  furnished  by  the  plural;  why  throw  it  away? 

On  this  detail  in  technical  writing  I  have  insisted  for  many 
years,  and  not  without  effect.  When  the  leaders  in  technical 
science  in  South  Africa  decided  to  prepare  a  comprehensive 
treatise  on  the  mining  and  metallurgy  of  the  great  goldfield  of 
the  Witwatersrand  they  issued  a  style-sheet  requesting  con- 
tributors to  use  'slime',  'concentrate',  'tailing',  and  so  forth, 
unless  the  reference  was  to  several  of  these  products.  Many 
American  technical  writers  and  practising  engineers  have 
adopted  my  suggestion.  Other  mormonisms  persist.  Writers 


PRECISION  41 

speak  of  'fines'  but  they  do  not  say  'coarses';  why  not  use 
'fine'  in  contrast  to  'coarse'?  Writers  on  the  geology  of  mining 
districts  often  speak  of  'schists',  'limestones',  and  'sandstones', 
when  the  reference  is  to  one,  and  only  one,  terrain  or  formation 
of  schist,  limestone,  or  sandstone.  Here  again  the  idea  lurks 
in  the  background  that  a  layer  of  limestone  is  a  limestone,  a 
bed  of  sandstone  is  a  sandstone,  and  a  lamina  of  schist  is  a 
schist.  It  is  impossible  to  tell  from  the  statements  of  such 
writers  whether  they  are  speaking  of  several  formations  or  of 
several  kinds  of  limestone  or  schist. 

(52)  "The  vein  crossed  the  bedded  sandstones." 
He  means  "the  beds  of  sandstone". 

(53)  "The  banded  ironstones  have  been  much  disturbed 
and  shattered." 

This  refers  to  a  single  formation  of  banded  ironstone;  he 
has  his  eye  on  the  multiple  bands  of  the  ironstone. 

(54)  "The  slates  being  highly  silicified  cause  the  main  lode 
shear-lines  to  split." 

He  means  that 

"The  slate,  being  highly  silicified,  causes  a  splitting  of  the 
shear-zone  that  constitutes  the  main  lode." 

Coal  for  domestic  use  in  England  was  formerly  called  'sea- 
coals',  because  it  came  by  sea  and  because  each  piece  was  sup- 
posed to  be  a  'coal',  and  Englishmen  still  speak  of  'coals', 
meaning  'coal '  in  the  sense  in  which  the  word  is  used  in  America, 
where  the  plural  may  be  used  to  signify  different  kinds  of 
coal. 

Note  the  fondness  for  the  plural  in  references  to  depth: 

(55)  "In  this  mine  the  ore  has  been  followed  to  great 
depths." 

He  means  "to  a  great  depth". 

(56)  "Rich  ore  has  been  found  to  considerable  depths.19 

In  such  phrases  the  plural  causes  vagueness,  and,  pre- 
sumably, to  ignorant  persons  it  seems  more  impressive  for  that 
reason.  As  a  technical  statement  it  loses  in  precision  and  in 
effect.  Substitute  the  singular  and  see  for  yourself. 


42  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

Better,  however,  than  either  the  singular  or  the  plural  of 
'depth'  would  be  the  actual  measurement  in  feet,  for  the  term 
'depth'  is  relative  and  means  little  apart  from  some  standard 
by  which  it  may  be  measured. 

Here  are  some  more  examples  of  the  unnecessary  plural: 

(57)  "The  labor  situation  on  these  fields  is  critical." 

This  is  a  common  British  vulgarism.  The  reference  is  to  a 
particular  goldfield,  that  of  the  Rand.  'Fields'  is  bucolic. 

(58)  "In  January  we  treated  3186  tons  of  concentrates  and 
produced  2711  tons  of  calcines." 

One  kind  of  concentrate  was  treated,  yielding  a  uniform 
calcine. 

(59)  "Our  costs  for  roasting  are  of  little  value  on  account  of 
the  shortness  of  the  period." 

Why  the  plural?  He  refers  to  one  item  of  expense,  not 
several. 

(60)  "Extensive  tracts  of  alluvials." 

He  meant  "an  extensive  tract  of  alluvial  ground",  but 
thought  it  grander  to  use  two  plurals. 

(61)  "These  estates  contain  important  deposits  of  iron  ores 
as  well  as  gold  and  copper  ores." 

Only  one  kind  of  iron  ore — hematite — was  known  to  exist, 
therefore  the  plural  is  misleading.  The  property  consisted  of 
one  consolidated  group  of  mining  claims,  therefore  'estates'  is 
only  a  sample  of  careless  magniloquence. 

A  professor  writes  concerning  the  treatment  of  quicksilver 
"ores"  by  flotation.  He  had  in  mind  the  one  important  ore 
of  quicksilver,  cinnabar,  and  was  not  referring  to  native 
mercury,  electrum,  or  meta-cinnabarite.  Moreover,  in  dis- 
cussing a  metallurgical  process,  he  would  have  been  more  pre- 
cise if  he  had  referred  to  the  mineral  itself  (cinnabar)  rather 
than  to  'ore',  much  less  "ores",  and  added  a  note  concerning 
the  nature  of  the  gangue. 

(62)  "  His  present  whereabouts  are  unknown.     The  editors 
of  the  'Atlantic  Monthly '  ". 

This  appears  in  a  foot-note.    The  use  of  the  plural  verb 


PRECISION  43 

suggests  that  he  might  be  in  several  places  at  the  same  moment. 
The  editors  do  not  know  the  particular  place  where  he  hap- 
pens to  be,  and  the  use  of  the  singular  verb  would  convey  the 
correct  idea  without  puzzling  the  reader  further.  'Where- 
abouts' is  not  a  true  plural,  but  merely  a  variant  of  'where- 
about'. 

The  choice  between  singular  and  plural  is  a  matter  of  hap- 
hazard to  many  writers.  For  instance,  United  States,  Govern- 
ment, Cabinet,  committee,  company,  management  are  given 
a  plural  verb  more  often  than  the  singular.  Sometimes  both  are 
used  in  the  same  context.  The  American  Ambassador  to  the 
Court  of  St.  James,  in  transmitting  a  diplomatic  note  from 
Washington  to  the  British  Government  under  date  of  December 
28,  1914,  used  the  plural  and  the  singular  impartially  after 
'Government',  thus: 

(63)  "The  Government  of  the  United  States  have  viewed." 

"The  Government  has  so  often  exhibited." 

"The  British  Government  were  satisfied." 

"This  Government  is  forced." 

"The  Government  of  the  United  States  do  not  intend." 

"This  Government  is  informed." 

"The  Government  of  the  United  States  are  informed." 

"The  Government  believes." 

"The  Government  of  the  United  States  expresses." 

It  is  correct  to  say :  "  The  United  States  is  a  great  country" ; 
also  "These  United  States  have  increased  in  number  since  the 
Civil  War."  The  United  States  is  a  political  entity. 

The  Government  is  a  unit.  The  members  of  it  are  united 
for  purposes  of  national  administration.  The  Cabinet  is  a 
select  committee  of  the  party  in  political  control;  the  politicians 
in  the  Cabinet  are  men  of  various  aptitudes.  We  say  "The 
company  is  about  to  buy  another  mine",  if  this  refers  to  the 
act  of  a  corporation.  So,  likewise,  "The  management  was  highly 
respected",  and  "The  committee  consists  of  nine  persons".  In 
all  these  words  the  collective  sense  is  implicit  and  the  use  of  the 
singular  makes  it  clear  that  the  writer  is  speaking  of  collective 


44  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

action  or  unified  decision.  If  not,  then  the  plural  becomes 
necessary;  thus  "The  members  of  the  committee  were  unable  to 
agree"  is  better  than  "the  committee  was  not  agreed". 

The  choice  between  the  singular  and  the  plural  verb  after 
a  subject  containing  numerals  is  likely  to  perplex  the  technical 
writer.  Thus,  he  will  say  either 

(64)  "Fully  1000  tons  of  ore  was  crushed"  or 
"Fully  1000  tons  of  ore  were  crushed." 

The  phrase  '1000  tons  of  ore'  signifies  a  quantity  con- 
sidered as  a  unit,  not  the  separate  tons,  therefore  the  verb 
should  be  in  the  singular.  While  concord  requires  that  a  verb 
shall  agree  in  number  with  its  subject,  yet  when  the  meaning 
is  in  conflict  with  number,  it  is  well  to  allow  logical  considera- 
tions to  prevail  over  the  grammatical,  so  that  subject  and  verb 
are  in  different  number,  thus: 

(65)  "5000  oz.  of  gold  was  produced." 

(66)  "$40  was  collected." 

(67)  "Three  feet  was  then  cut  off  the  pipe." 

(68)  "Twenty  years  is  a  long  time." 

(69)  "Forty  yards  is  too  far." 

(70)  "Twice  two  is  four." 

(71)  "Two-thirds  has  been  lost." 

All  the  above  are  sanctioned  by  good  usage.  We  say  "1000 
tons  was  crushed"  because  the  idea  of  'ore'  is  implicit  and  we 
are  thinking  of  the  tonnage  in  mass  and  not  of  a  thousand 
separate  tons.  Such  a  locution  refers  to  an  amount  in  weight 
and  not  separate  things.  On  the  other  hand,  we  might  say: 
"Five  tons  were  tested  in  one-ton  lots";  but  it  is  preferable  to 
say:  "Five  one-ton  lots  were  tested".  Again,  in  "Forty 
barrels  of  oil  was  stored  in  the  tank",  the  quantity  measured 
in  barrels  is  regarded  as  a  unit;  whereas  in  "Forty  barrels  of 
oil  were  stored  in  the  warehouse"  the  verb  may  be  plural  if 
the  oil  is  contained  in  40  separate  barrels  meant  to  be  con- 
sidered individually. 

(72)  "11  cc.  of  iodine  solution  were  [was]  used  to  titrate." 
Here   'was'  is  inconsistent  with  the  grammar,   but  con- 


PRECISION  45 

sistent  with  the  idea,  namely,  that  iodine  to  the  amount  of 

11  cc.  was  used  in  the  titration. 

In  such  statements  the  idea  of  quantity  is  implicit,  thus: 
"An  11  cc.  quantity  (or  volume)  of  iodine  solution  was 

used." 

"A  1000-ton  quantity  (or  weight)  of  ore  was  crushed." 
The  idea  of  quantity  being  implicit,  the  word  for  quantity 

is  omitted,  and  we  have  the  adjectival  phrase  alone  remaining 

as  the  apparent  subject. 

Two  nouns  may  indicate  one  subject:  "A  block  and  tackle 

is  employed." 

Collective  nouns  are  sometimes  joined  to  plural  verbs  when 

the  statement  is  meant  to  apply  to  the  individuals  of  a  group, 

thus: 

(73)  "The  people  are  one  and  they  have  one  language." 

(74)  "The  public  have  various  opinions." 

This  view  of  the  matter  is  stretched  by  some  writers  to 
sanction  such  phrases  as: 

(75)  "The  Smith  &  Jones  Co.  have  built  a  new  mill." 

(76)  "The  management  have  refused  to  raise  wages." 
Such  usage  is  not  to  be  commended,  because  the  building 

of  a  mill  or  the  raising  of  wages  is  an  act  directed  by  the  'com- 
pany' or  the  'management'  as  a  unit,  not  by  the  various  mem- 
bers as  individuals. 


V.    SUPERLATIVES  AND  OTHER  DILUENTS. 

The  purposes  of  composition  are  various;  one  purpose,  for 
instance,  is  to  make  a  record  for  the  writer's  own  use,  as  in  a 
diary.  That  does  not  involve  responsibility  to  others.  There 
is  also  the  writing  meant  to  influence  opinion,  to  be  persuasive 
and  pleasing.  With  such  writing  we  need  not  concern  ourselves 
at  this  stage  of  our  study.  The  prime  purpose  of  technical 
writing  is  to  be  informative — to  convey  information — there- 
fore it  must  be  clear  beyond  the  chance  of  misunderstanding. 

Such  clearness  is  impossible  if  meaningless  or  wrong  words 
are  sprinkled  through  the  text.  Discard  the  trivial  words  that 
are  constantly  at  your  elbow.  Brush  aside  a  host  of  vapid 
superlatives.  Metternich  exclaimed:  "The  superlative  is  the 
mark  of  fools."  It  is  a  false  emphasis,  like  the  underlining  in 
a  school-girl's  letter.  For  example,  the  little  word  Very' 
can  be  deleted  nine  times  out  of  ten;  it  is  an  impediment  to 
terse  and  perspicuous  writing,  as  the  multitudinous  hand- 
baggage  of  the  British  tourist  is  to  his  travel.  '  Very'  supppses 
comparison.  A  mine  with  a  1000-ft.  shaft  is  very  deep  to  the 
scribe  who  writes  from  the  Joplin  district,  in  Missouri,  but  it 
seems  a  shallow  hole  to  a  man  living  at  Calumet,  Michigan. 
A  vein  that  is  10  feet  across  may  be  considered  very  wide  at 
Cripple  Creek,  Colorado,  but  it  is  only  a  'stringer'  to  the  miner 
at  the  Homestake,  in  South  Dakota.  Ore  assaying  $20  in  gold 
is  very  rich  at  Treadwell,  Alaska,  where  5000  tons  of  $2  ore  is 
crushed  daily,  but  it  is  relatively  low-grade  to  the  pocket- 
miner  at  Alleghany,  in  California.  It  is  all  a  matter  of  com- 
parison; unless  your  reader  knows  your  standards  of  depth, 
width,  or  richness,  your  Very'  has  no  significance. 

(1)  "Where  erosion  was  very  rapid  or  oxidation  very  shallow" 
is  a  statement  that  immediately  raises  the  question:  What  is 
the  writer's  scale  of  rapidity  or  shallowness? 

46 


SUPERLATIVES  AND  OTHER  DILUENTS  47 

(2)  Sir  Arthur  Conan  Doyle  says:    "It  is  certain  that  the 
Germans  were  very  outclassed  upon  the  three  days  of  June 
which  I  allude  to." 

The  'certain'  and  the  Very'  suggest  exaggeration.  An 
adverb,  such  as  'greatly'  has  been  omitted  before  "outclassed". 
He  misplaced  'to';  for  he  meant  "the  three  days  in  June  to 
which  I  allude." 

The  use  of  'very'  may  defeat  its  purpose.  Some  words, 
like  'perfect'  and  'unique',  cannot  be  qualified.  If  a  thing  is 
'perfect',  no  'very'  can  make  it  more  so.  To  say  that  a  machine 
"makes  a  very  perfect  separation  of  the  slime  from  the  sand" 
is  tantamount  to  saying  that  it  makes  an  'almost  perfect', 
which  is  an  'imperfect',  separation.  A  perfect  separation  is 
100%,  which  is  the  limit  of  that  kind  of  perfection. 

'  Unique'  is  a  word  that  allows  no  qualification. 

(3)  "The  manager  of  the  Mount  Boppy  refers  to  one  of 
the  most  unique  sections  of  the  mine." 

Here  the  superlatives  smother  each  other.  If  several  such 
"sections"  existed  in  the  mine,  none  of  them  was  unique. 
The  one  first  disclosed  may  have  been  unique;  the  second 
killed  the  uniqueness  of  it. 

(4)  "A  rather  unique  suggestion." 

(5)  "The  process  is  somewhat  unique." 

If  a  thing  be  unique,  that  sufficeth.  Similarly,  such  words 
as  'obvious',  'vertical',  'straight',  'moral',  and  'honest'  are  not 
intensified  by  using  an  adverb;  they  are  weakened.  "A  very 
vertical  shaft"  and  "a  perfectly  straight  adit"  suggest  the  gild- 
ing of  refined  gold. 

(6)  "Constructing  a  tramway  in  a  perfectly  straight  line." 
A  straight  line  is  the  perfection  of  straightness. 

(7)  "It  is  very  obvious  that  the  mine  is  worth  the  price 
asked." 

It  is  obvious  or  it  is  not;  it  can  neither  be  more  obvious  nor 
almost  obvious.  From  the  unnecessary  emphasis  we  may  sus- 
pect that  it  was  not  obvious  that  the  mine  was  worth  the  price. 

(8)  "Guncotton  is  pressed  into  the  requisite  form  in  a  wet 


48  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

state,  in  which  condition  it  is  very  safe  to  handle."    The  "very" 
weakens  "safe",  because  the  over-emphasis  raises  a  doubt. 

(9)  "Lord  Roberts  is  a  very  honest  man"  said  the  'West- 
minster Gazette'.     This  suggests  that  perhaps  politically  his 
honesty  was  considered  not  above  suspicion. 

(10)  "Charles  E.  Hughes  is  exceedingly  honest,  extremely 
moral,  but  not  in  the  least  progressive"  said  'The  Examiner'. 
Here  the  superlatives  sap  the  strength  of  the  sentence,  and 
reduce  it  to  mere  verbiage. 

(11)  "The  formation  of  the  insoluble  lime  tungstate  is 
very  rare  and  has  only  been  observed  in  one  or  two  instances." 

This  statement  is  weakened  by  false  emphasis.  "The 
formation  of  the  insoluble  lime-tungstate  is  rare."  That 
suffices. 

These  remarks  do  not  refer  to  idiomatic  phrases  such  as: 
"In  very  truth,  he  is  a  man."  Idiomatic  phrases  are  a  law 
unto  themselves.  Here  'very'  is  an  adjective;  as  also  in  "the 
very  roots  of  human  life".  'Very'  makes  a  strong  adjective, 
but  a  weak  adverb.  I  will  add  this:  if  you  employ  'very' 
infrequently,  you  will  find  it  very  useful,  on  occasion. 

Even  a  word  like  'great'  has  little  meaning  if  worked  to 
death.  A  newspaper  reporter,  describing  the  submarine 
'Deutschland',  said: 

(12)  "The  great  hull  has  been  pressed  out  of  one  sheet  of 
steel.     The  only  break  in  the  smooth  contour  is  at  the  bow 
where  her  great  anchors  hang.    But  even  here  it  is  hardly  a 
break,  for  the  anchors  fit  snugly  into  great  pockets  that  still 
maintain  the  roundness  of  the  hull.    The  conning  tower  rises 
like  the  hump  of  a  camel  in  the  great  boat's  back." 

'Most'  is  another  word  much  over-worked  and  likely  to 
hinder  the  flow  of  thought,  as  water  is  retarded  by  a  riffle. 

(13)  "The  ore  deposit  is  most  extraordinary." 

(14)  "This  can  be  done  most  effectually  in  one  way  only." 
'Doubtless',  'without  doubt',  and  'undoubtedly'  are  inter- 
jected in  a  careless  way  as  an  equivalent  for  'perhaps'  or 
or  'probably',  instead  of  being  held  to  their  true  significance. 


SUPERLATIVES  AND  OTHER  DILUENTS  49 

(15)  "Doubtless  the  vein  will  persist  in  depth." 

(16)  "The  men,  without  doubt,  are  honest  in  their  inten- 
tions, but  their  methods  are  most  objectionable." 

'Certain'  is  a  word  of  uncertain  meaning. 

(17)  "A  certain  kind  of  oil  is  necessary  in  the  flotation 
process." 

Here  'certain'  is  used  as  a  synonym  for  'specific',  but  it  would 
be  better  to  specify  what  kind  of  oil  is  required.  Delete 
'certain'  and  state  whether  it  be  pine-oil,  wood-creosote,  or 
olive-oil,  for  example. 

(18)  "Tuberculosis  occurs  to  a  certain  extent  among  the 
miners." 

In  this  example  'certain'  either  means  nothing  or  it  implies 
uncertainty. 

(19)  "There  is  a  tendency  to  limit  the  profit  to  a  certain 
[fixed]  percentage  of  the  capital  employed." 

Avoid  the  habitual  use  of  'certain',  so  that  when  you  do 
employ  it  there  will  be  no  uncertainty  as  to  your  meaning. 

'Certainly',  like  its  corresponding  adjective,  is  another 
bluff  word;  more  full  of  sound  than  significance.  Here  is  a 
quotation  from  the  New  York  'Annalist' : 

(20)  "Certainly,   Dr.   Jastrow's   article  is   stimulating  to 
thought  and  can  be  read  with  interest  by  British  bankers, 
remarks  this  authority.    But  one  finds  few  to  accept  his  con- 
clusions as  a  whole.     Certainly  American  banking  enterprise 
is  finding  an  outlet  in  South  America;  certainly,  also,  America's 
new  banking  system  should  help  New  York  to  take  an  increas- 
ing share  in  international  finance;  certainly,  also,  British  banks 
in  South  America  will  need  all  their  skill  and  energy  in  the 
future." 

These  four  'certainlys',  one  of  which  might  be  emphatic 
while  the  four  cancel  one  another,  are  like  the  coughs  of  a 
self-conscious  speaker.  The  addition,  twice,  of  'also'  increases 
the  clumsiness  of  the  performance. 

'Considerable'  is  a  woolly  word,  usually  out  of  place  in  a 
technical  statement, 


50  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(21)  "Considerable  [numerous]  data  of  this  kind  are  given 
by  Lewis  and  Shorter  " 

(22)  "Considerable  [deep]  oxidation  explains  the  absence 
of  sulphides." 

(23)  "A  considerable  amount  of  ore  was  sent  to  custom- 
mills  before  the  company  built  its  own  mill." 

Some,  even  approximate,  figure  should  replace  'con- 
siderable', which  depends  for  its  value  upon  the  writer's — not 
the  reader's — notion  of  what  is  a  large  tonnage. 

(24)  "The  plans  for  a  plant  of  any  considerable  magnitude 
are  not  warranted." 

Delete  "considerable"  and  substitute  a  phrase  that  is  more 
specific.  Is  it  the  cost  that  is  the  obstacle  or  the  lack  of  suf- 
ficient ore?  Then  write  either  "The  plans  for  an  expensive 
plant  are  not  warranted  by  the  funds  available"  or  "The  plans 
for  a  plant  of  large  capacity  are  not  warranted  by  the  tonnage 
of  ore  assured." 

'Some',  like  'considerable',  is  used  in  a  loose,  and  usually 
meaningless,  way. 

(25)  "Scotland  produced  some  3,500,000  tons  of  oil-shale." 

(26)  "This  mine  has  yielded  some  100,000  oz.  of  gold." 

(27)  "This  process  has  met  with  some  considerable  success 
in  the  treatment  of  antimonial  gold  ores." 

In  each  case  'some'  is  redundant;  it  means  'about'  or 
'approximately',  and  that  is  suggested  sufficiently  by  the 
round  figures.  The  last  quotation  is  so  woolly  in  texture  as 
to  be  ludicrous. 

'  More  or  less'  is  another  phrase  it  is  well  to  discard  in  tech- 
nical writing,  which  aims  to  be  precise. 

(28)  "The  ore  has  been  subjected  to  more  or  less  oxida- 
tion." 

(29)  "The  workmen  are  more  or  less  inclined  to  resent  the 
order." 

Delete  'more  or  less'  in  these  examples. 

(30)  "The  application  of  more  or  less  complicated  formulas 
is  superfluous," 


SUPERLATIVES  AND  OTHER  DILUENTS  51 

(31)  "The  impression  that  the  bases  of  calculation  are 
more  or  less  certainties  [certain]." 

'More  or  less'  is  rarely  needed,  least  of  all  in  a  discussion  of 
accurate  methods  of  appraisal. 

(32)  "Leaving  no  record  other  than  scanty  ruins,  more  or 
less  perfectly  [now]  entombed  in  the  drifting  sand-dunes." 

Do  not  imagine  that  the  interlarding  of  qualifying  phrases 
like  'more  or  less',  'to  a  greater  or  less  extent',  or  even  adverbs 
like  'about'  and  'approximately',  adds  to  the  accuracy  of  your 
information  or  to  the  precision  of  your  statement. 

(33)  "  Crystals  penetrated  to  a  greater  or  less  extent  the  sub- 
stance of  the  rock  fragments." 

(34)  "The  spaces  between  have  been  more  or  less  completely 
filled  by  cementing  materials." 

(35)  "Ore-shoots  are  likely  to  be  associated  to  a  greater  or 
less  degree  with  fissures." 

These  three  quotations  come  from  the  same  technical  article 
by  a  geologist  who  mistook  the  decoration  for  the  substance  of 
scientific  truth. 

'Probably',  'perhaps',  'about',  and  'rather'  are  sprinkled 
in  the  sentences  of  engineers  with  the  idea  apparently  of  indi- 
cating carefulness  of  statement,  but  care  is  shown  better  by 
precision  than  by  studied  moderation  of  language. 

(36)  "A  sampling  plant  was  built  perhaps  five  years  ago." 
Ascertain  when  it  was  built  and  give  the  date. 

(37)  "The  lode  is  probably  about  ten  feet  wide." 
Measure  the  lode  and  give  its  average  width,  as  best  you 

can.  All  such  averages  are  subject  to  a  reasonable  discount; 
the  insertion  of  'probably'  and  'about'  will  not  avail  if  the 
average  width  of  the  lode  prove  to  be  six  feet. 

(38)  "The  quartz  is  rather  hard  and  the  walls  are  very 
straight."     Delete  the  words  italicized.     Likewise  in  the  two 
following  quotations: 

(39)  "The  movement  of  minerals  shows  a  rather  remarkable 
concentration." 

(40)  "This  is  more  especially  true  of  the  smaller  veins." 


52  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

'Present'  and  'presence'  are  often  redundant;  so  are  'found 
to  be'  and  'known  to  be'. 

(41)  "The  metallic  minerals  present  in  the  ore." 

(42)  "  The  presence  of  other  sulphides  was  [were]  noted  in 
this  ore." 

(43)  "The  sandstone  is  known  to  be  jointed  in  places." 

(44)  "In  this  region  the  deposits  are  found  to  be  low-grade." 
In  these  four  examples  the  words  italicized  are  superfluous. 
'Et  cetera'  or  'etc.'  is  improper  after  'for  example',  or  'such 

as'. 

(45)  "The  ore  contains  various  sulphides,  such  as  galena, 
blende,  pyrrhotite,  etc." 

Delete  "etc."  and  insert  'and'  after  "blende". 

(46)  "After  the  copper  sulphides,  such  as  chalcocite  and 
chalcopyrite,  etc.,  are  reduced  to  a  fine  state  of  comminution." 

The  "etc."  is  not  wanted.  He  had  in  mind  these  two  sul- 
phides, arid  no  others.  The  "etc."  suggests  that  he  had  some- 
thing up  his  sleeve. 

This  silly  little  abbreviation  is  also  used  to  round  a  state- 
ment or  to  make  it  seem  more  inclusive,  thus : 

(47)  "Natives  are  employed  in  stoping,  tramming,   tim- 
bering, etc." 

(48)  "Telluride  ore  is  found  in  the  Contention,  Old  Judge, 
Telegraph,  Sarah  Jane,  etc." 

He  had  mentioned  all  the  mines  in  which,  so  far  as  he  knew, 
telluride  ore  had  been  found.  The  "etc."  was  a  mere  flourish. 
It  reminds  one  of  items  in  the  social  column  of  a  local  news- 
paper, such  as: 

(49)  "Mrs.  Ebenezer  J.  Judkins  gave  an  elegant  dinner 
party,  her  guests  being  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Algernon  H.  Smith,  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Adams  Wheelock  Brown,  and  others."    No  one  else 
was  present,  but  it  sounded  fine  and  large  to  add  "and  others". 

'However',  'therefore',  'nevertheless',  'moreover',  and  sim- 
ilar adverbial  connectives  should  be  used  sparingly.  They  are 
better  placed  parenthetically  within  the  sentence  than  at  the 
beginning. 


SUPERLATIVES  AND  OTHER  DILUENTS  53 

The  British  have  a  way  of  disarming  criticism  by  using 
qualifying  words  and  phrases  like  'somewhat',  'on  the  whole', 
'be  this  as  it  may',  'we  venture  to  conclude'.  Gracious  as  these 
may  be  in  some  forms  of  expression  they  should  be  excluded 
from  technical  writing,  which  is  best  when  most  explicit  and 
least  upholstered. 

(50)  "The  working  costs  have  not  been  abnormally  high, 
running,  as  they  have  done,  only  a  trifle  in  excess  of  the  average 
of  the  whole  of  the  Witwatersrand." 

The  statement  is  meant  to  disarm  criticism  by  its  gentle 
verbiage. 

(51)  "A  sampling  plant  was  built  perhaps  five  years  ago." 

(52)  "A   somewhat  important   development  is   announced 
from  El  Oro." 

(53)  "It  is  rather  rare  to  see  such  a  rich  vein." 

This  "orgy  of  moderation",  as  it  has  been  called,  is  almost 
a  disease  among  our  British  friends;  it  has  grown  from  their 
love  for  "the  emphasis  of  under-statement",  as  Thomas  Hardy 
calls  it.  British  technical  writers  appear  to  shy  at  plain  state- 
ments of  facts  as  if  it  were  bad  form  to  be  explicit.  This  fault, 
however,  is  not  unknown  in  America.  The  editor  of  the 
'Saturday  Evening  Post'  says: 

(54)  "That  war,  on  the  whole,  lowers  the  morale  of  the 
personnel  is  possible."    He  tries  to  give  dignity  to  a  bit  of  piffle 
by  inserting  a  qualifying  phrase. 

(55)  "The  average  run  of  ore  contained  about  30%  silica, 
more  or  less" 

He  must  have  been  decidedly  uncertain  about  it,  for  he 
protects  his  30%  both  fore  and  aft. 

The  secret  of  a  vigorous  style  is  the  rejection  of  the  super- 
fluous word. 

Permit  me  to  quote  Henry  James  again;  he  was  addressing 
students — young  women  of  the  highest  type — when  he  said: 
"I  am  asking  you  to  take  it  from  me,  as  the  very  moral  of  these 
remarks,  that  the  way  we  say  a  thing,  or  fail  to  say  it — fail  to 
learn  to  say  it — has  an  importance  in  life  that  it  is  impossible 


54  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

to  overstate — a  far-reaching  importance,  as  the  very  hinge  of 
the  relation  of  man  to  man." 

Henry  James  spoke  thus  "in  those  days  when  his  sentence 
was  a  straight  young  thing  that  could  run  where  it  liked, 
instead  of  a  delicate  creature  swathed  in  relative  clauses  as  an 
invalid  in  shawls."* 

*  Rebecca  West. 


VI.    IT,  ONE,  WITH,  WHILE. 

Freeman,  the  English  historian,  said  that  he  had  learned 
from  Macaulay  "never  to  be  afraid  of  using  the  same  word  or 
name  over  and  over  again  if  by  that  means  anything  could  be 
added  to  clearness  or  force.  Macaulay  never  goes  on,  like 
some  writers,  talking  about  'the  former  "'and  'the  latter',  'he' 
'she',  'it7,  and  'they',  through  clause  after  clause,  while  his 
reader  has  to  look  back  to  see  which  of  several  persons  it  is  that 
is  so  darkly  referred  to."  He  might  have  learned  also  from 
Macaulay  that  a  preposition  makes  a  feeble  ending  for  a  serious 
statement. 

How  often  do  you  hear  'the  former'  and  'the  latter'  in  con- 
versation? Good  conversation  is  a  -guide  not  to  be  disdained. 
When  you  must  use  'the  latter',  do  not  confuse  it  with  'the 
last'. 

(1)  "Cheap  labor,   cheap  fuel,   and   cheap  transport  are 
essential,  the  latter  [last]  being  particularly  important  in  base- 
metal  mining." 

(2)  "The  apparatus  may  be  used  to  determine  such  gases 
as  hydrogen  sulphide,  chlorine,  oxides  of  nitrogen  and  some 
others,  as  well  as  sulphur  di-oxide.    In  the  case  of  the    latter 
[last]  two,  etc." 

The  last  two  mentioned  are  "sulphur  di-oxide"  and  "some 
others".  He  should  have  stated  which  two  and  he  should  have 
avoided  that  jargonese  phrase  "in  the  case  of". 

Sir  Clifford  Allbutt  ridicules  the  false  sense  of  tautology. 
As  an  example,  he  quotes : 

(3)  "In  the  first  series  the  reaction  was  present  on  37 
occasions,  in  the  second  series  it  occurred  32  times,  while  in  the 
third  it  was  observed  in  27  instances." 

This  should  be :  "In  the  first  series  the  reaction  was  observed 
37  times;  in  the  second,  32  times;  and  in, the  third,  27  times." 

55 


56  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

It  might  even  be  better  to  delete  "times"  in  the  second  and 
third  clauses. 

Cobbett  says:  "The  word  'it'  is  the  greatest  troubler  that 
I  know  of  in  language.  It  is  so  small  and  so  convenient  that 
few  are  careful  enough  in  using  it.  Writers  seldom  spare  the 
word.  Whenever  they  are  at  a  loss  for  either  a  nominative  or 
an  objective  to  their  sentence,  they  clap  in  an  it." 

(4)  "The  cartridge  has  fuse  attached  to  it  and  it  is  split 
before  it  is  shoved  up." 

The  first  'it'  refers  to  the  cartridge,  the  second  to  the  fuse, 
and  the  third  again  to  the  cartridge. 

(5)  "About  two  years  ago,  when  it  was  found  necessary 
to  erect  a  new  school-building,  it  was  thought  by  many  that 
some  attempt  should  be  made  to  give  instruction  to  those 
engaged  in  mining.     It  was  decided,  therefore,  to  establish  a 
mining-school  in  connection  with  the  high-school  and  it  proved 
a  success." 

A  medley  of  different  'its'  in  a  single  sentence,  like  the 
above,  is  undesirable;  the  mixture  of  the  indefinite  or  imper- 
sonal 'it'  (the  first  three  in  the  example)  with  the  concrete  'it' 
(the  fourth,  which  appears  to  refer  to  the  "mining-school") 
is  confusing.  The  sentence  is  bad,  not  only  because  of  this 
mixture,  but  because  of  the  repetition  of  'it' ;  the  phrasing  can 
be  accepted  as  far  as  the  word  'school-building',  which  might 
be  followed  by  "many  thought  that  some  attempt  should 
be  made  to  give  instruction  to  those  engaged  in  mining.  A 
mining-school  therefore  was  established  in  connection  with  the 
high-school  and  proved  successful."  Such  phrases  as  "it  was 
found  necessary"  and  "it  was  decided"  are  not  objectionable, 
as  expressing  public  necessity  or  public  decision,  but  they  should 
be  used  sparingly. 

(6)  "The  ore  is  scattered  through  the  formation,  and  it  is 
difficult  to  follow." 

Which  was  difficult  to  follow,  the  ore?  the  formation?  If 
the  ore,  "it"  is  unnecessary;  if  the  formation,  "and  it"  should 
be  replaced  by  'which'. 


IT,  ONE,  WITH,  WHILE  57 

(7)  "The  air-compressor  also  operates  the  sinking-pump, 
so  that  it  is  an  economical  machine." 

Was  it  the  pump  or  the  compressor  that  proved  economical? 

(8)  "The  fire  at  the  Champion  mine  made  it  necessary  for 
the  company  to  shut-down  its  mill,  and  it  is  probable  that  it 
will  remain  idle  for  several  months,  until  it  is  in  a  position  to 
produce  the  usual  supply  of  ore." 

Here  are  five  'its',  three  of  which  appear  to  represent  con- 
crete things.  Does  the  fourth  refer  to  the  company,  the  mill, 
or  the  mine?  The  fifth  'it'  may  refer  either  to  the  mine  or  to 
the  company.  As  an  alternative  I  suggest : 

"The  fire  at  the  Champion  mine  compelled  the  company 
to  shut-down  the  mill,  which  will  remain  idle  for  several  months 
or  until  sufficient  ore  can  be  supplied." 

(9)  "The  thickness  of  the  strata  described  as  chalk  by  the 
driller  is  much  greater  in  the  southern  field  and  it  rests,  in  four 
cases  out  of  five,  directly  on  sand." 

What  rests?  "The  southern  field"?  No,  the  chalk.  The 
'and'  can  be  replaced  by  'where';  and  'chalk'  had  better  be 
repeated  instead  of  using  the  confusing  'it'. 

Do  not  hesitate  to  repeat  a  word  in  order  to  make  yourself 
clear.  Perspicuity  is  the  better  part  of  elegance. 

(10)  "For  reasons  that  need  not  be  discussed,  a  solute  that 
lowers  the  surface- tension  of  a  liquid  concentrates  at  the  sur- 
face of  the  solution,  but  this  process  of  concentration,  called 
'adsorption',  takes  a  certain  definite  time  to  reach  its  full 
value.    Now,  if  a  film  of  the  solution  is  stretched,  a  new  surface 
is  produced  and  this  new  surface  at  the  moment  of  production 
possesses  greater  sw/ace-tension  than  the  rest  of  the  surface, 
because  the  swr/ace-adsorption  has  not  had  time  to  reach  its 
full  value." 

In  this  paragraph  the  writer  has  used  the  word  'surface' 
repeatedly  in  order  to  make  himself  clear.  He  is  discussing  a 
particular  force,  surface-tension,  and  avoids  the  risk  of  mis- 
understanding by  giving  it  in  full  again  and  again.  He  might 
have  used  'tension'  without  the  adjectival  'surface'  after 


58  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"possesses  greater",  and  he  might  have  omitted  'surface' 
before  'adsorption'  near  the  close  of  the  paragraph;  but  if  he 
erred,  he  erred  on  the  right  side.  He  is  dealing  throughout  with 
essentially  surficial  phenomena  and  he  emphasizes  the  fact. 
For  that  reason  the  repetition  is  to  be  commended. 

Please  do  not  weigh  the  value  of  my  admonitions  entirely 
by  the  manner  in  which  they  are  conveyed  to  you.  I  have 
read  a  sufficient  number  of  books  on  grammar,  composition, 
and  writing  to  know  that  the  exponents  of  these  subjects — 
some  of  them  far  better  equipped  than  I — commit  many  of  the 
errors  against  which  they  warn  their  readers.  My  position 
is  much  like  that  of  the  honest,  but  bibulous,  clergyman  who 
told  his  congregation:  "Do  as  I  say,  not  as  I  do." 

An  ungainly  use  of  'with'  is  noteworthy  in  technical  writ- 
ings. 

(11)  In  preparing  the  second  lecture  I  had  written:    "  'Cer- 
tain' is  a  word  with  an  uncertain  meaning",  but  I  changed 
"with  an"  to  'of. 

(12)  "The  vein  has  a  north-east  strike  with  [and]  an  easterly 
dip." 

(13)  "The  vein  becomes  richer  with  [in]  depth." 

(14)  "The  Bolivians  produce  good  ore  and  concentrates 
with  [at]  a  small  outlay  of  expense." 

Here  'with'  is  more  objectionable.  The  ore  and  concentrate 
are  produced  at  a  small  cost.  Delete  "outlay  of". 

(15)  "With  the  value  of  the  boliviano  as  fixed  by  law,  the 
difference  of  exchange  becomes  burdensome." 

This  is  worse.  He  should  have  said:  "Since  the  value  of 
the  boliviano  is  fixed  by  law,  the  difference,  etc." 

(16)  "  With  the  high  smelting  rate  existing  in  England  and 
the  practical  impossibility  of  getting  ore  into  a  Germany  for 
reduction,  it  seems  that  with  fair  offers  in  price  the  American 
smelters  will  be  able  to  command  a  supply  of  tin  ore  from 
Bolivia." 

This  is  still  worse.  He  means:  " In  consequence  of  the  high 
smelting-rate  etc.",  and  when  he  uses  'with'  a  second  time  he 


IT,  ONE,  WITH,  WHILE  59 

means  that  "if  fair  prices  are  offered,  the  American  smelters 
should  be  able  etc."    'Existing'  and  'practical'  are  redundant. 

(17)  "  Why  are  the  ore-shoots  limited  to  the  middle  andesite 
with  [whereas]  the  earlier  [lower]  and  upper  flows  [are]  barren?" 

Here  'with'  is  used  in  place  of  'whereas'.  He  might  have 
said:  "The  lower  and  upper  flows  of  andesite  being  barren, 
why  are  the  ore-shoots  limited  to  the  middle  flow?" 

(18)  "The  world's  production  of  each  of  the  three  base 
metals  was  1,000,000  tons  with  [but]  lead  slightly  exceeding 
[exceeded]  copper  and  zinc." 

The  sense  of  equal  production  is  better  expressed  by  put- 
ting the  "each"  after  "tons".  He  might  have  phrased  the 
last  clause  thus : 

" but  the  production  of  lead  slightly  exceeded  that  of 

copper  or  zinc." 

(19)  "Even  with  slimes  that  settle  well  with  lime,  this 
jiethod  is  undesirable." 

He  means  "This  method  cannot  be  recommended  even  when 
applied  to  slimes  that  are  made  to  settle  by  aid  of  lime." 

(20)  "  With  a  crushing  device  which  utilizes  the  principle  of 
abrasion  peculiar  phenomena  are  sometimes  presented." 

This  is  jargon.  He  means:  "Crushing  devices  that  utilize 
the  principle  of  abrasion  sometimes  produce  peculiar  phenom- 
ena." 

(21)  "With  the  new  furnaces  in  operation,  smelting  with 
the  cheapest  fuel  available  at  present,  with  cheap  power  from 
waste  gases,  and  with  the  Fierce-Smith  converter  operating, 
the  plant  will  be  completely  up  to  date." 

This  is  a  sample  of  journalese.    'With'  stands  for  'when'. 

"When  the  new  furnaces  are  in  blast,  when  the  Fierce- 
Smith  converters  are  in  operation,  when  cheap  fuel  is  used 
and  when  the  waste-gases  are  utilized  to  generate  power,  this 
plant  may  be  considered  thoroughly  up-to-date." 

(22)  "With  the  exception  of  [except  for]  the  altitude,  the 
conditions  are  favorable  to  mining." 

(23)  "  With  [in  consequence  of]  the  rising  cost  of  machinery, 


60  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

foodstuffs,  and  labor,  and  with  [as  against]  a  fixed  value  for  their 
output,  the  gold  mines  are  facing  unprecedented  conditions." 

In  the  13th  book  of  the  'Say  of  Confucius'  it  is  recorded: 
"On  matters  beyond  his  ken  a  gentleman  speaks  with  caution. 
If  names  are  not  right,  words  are  misused.  When  words  are 
misused,  affairs  go  wrong.  When  affairs  go  wrong,  courtesy 
and  music  droop,  law  and  justice  fail.  And  when  law  and 
justice  fail  them,  a  people  can  move  neither  hand  nor  foot.  So  a 
gentleman  must  be  ready  to  put  names  into  speech,  to  put 
words  into  deeds.  A  gentleman  is  nowise  careless  of  words." 

'While7  means  'during  the  time  that'  or  'for  as  long  as'. 
It  is  a  mistake  to  use  it  for  other  purposes. 

(24)  "The  orebearing  sandstones,  which  dip  eastward,  are 
locally  termed  'vetas',  while  [whereas]  those  dipping  eastward 
are  known  as  'ramos'." 

The  reference  is  not  to  time  but  to  the  direction  of  dip. 
It  is  well  when  using  foreign  terms,  such  as  the  Spanish  words 
in  the  above  quotation,  to  insert  the  English  equivalent  in 
parentheses,  thus  'vetas'  (veins)  and  'ramos'  (branches). 

The  same  writer  mixed  his  prepositions : 

(25)  "These  beds  of  sandstone  have  been  found  to  contain 
ore  at  [to]  a  depth  of  over  1600  ft." 

He  did  not  mean  that  they  were  ore-bearing  only  at  1600 
ft.,  but  that  they  continued  to  be  ore-bearing  down  to  1600  feet. 

(26)  "Enormous  quantities  of  agricultural  waste  from  the 
farms  are  disregarded,  while  [although]  they  contain  elements 
from  which  valuable  substances  can  be  derived." 

(27)  "This  refers  to  experiments  where  [in  which]  roasting 
was  tried." 

Another  objectionable  mannerism  is  the  use  of  the  indefinite 
pronoun  'one'.  This  is  distinctly  a  British  habit,  but  many 
Americans  affect  it,  and,  being  common  among  well-bred  people, 
it  has  a  vogue  against  which  a  careful  writer  should  be  on  his 
guard.  In  technical  writing  it  is  a  plain  nuisance. 

(28)  "One  dined  late,  therefore  one  did  not  walk  to  the  club 
until  ten  o'clock  ",  instead  of 


IT,  ONE,  WITH,  WHILE  61 

"  I  dined  late,  therefore  I  did  not  walk  to  the  club  until 
ten." 

(29)  "I  am  engaged  in  reciting  the  incidents  in  one's  [my] 
life."     This  is  a  panicky  attempt  to  escape  egotism  in  an 
autobiography. 

The  'Westminster  Gazette7  says: 

(30)  "Then  cricket  will  become  a  sport  without  nerves, 
and  one  of  which  one  will  willingly  become  a  spectator." 

Lord  Rosebery  remarks: 

(31)  "The  less  one  says  about  a  toast  one  knows  nothing 
about  the  better  for  one's  self  and  the  audience." 

Note  the  preposition- verb  and  the  misplaced  preposition. 
J.  L.  Garvin  wrote  recently  in  'The  Journal'  of  the  Institute 
of  Journalists  as  follows: 

(32)  "This  you  say  is  a  talk  by  a  journalist  to  journalists! 
So  one  had  often  declined.    At  last,  in  answer  to  the  latest  and 
most  urgent  invitation  from  French  friends,  one  determined 
to  go,  and  now  the  wonder  seems  that  one  did  not  go  before." 

He  means  that  he  had  often  declined  to  visit  the  front  in 
France,  until  at  last  he  determined  to  go  and  then  wondered 
why  he  had  not  gone  before.  Substitute  'I'  for  'one'  through- 
out. The  statement  is  only  interesting  as  referring  to  the 
ideas  and  movements  of  the  speaker,  the  versatile  editor  of  the 
'  Observer'. 

(33)  "One  had  noticed  that  in  Cornwall  the  miners  had 
never  been  able  to  get  rid  of  the  influence  of  the  smelters  in 
selling  their  ore." 

Again  the  mock-modest  'one'  is  associated  with  a  preposi- 
tion-verb. The  observation  is  uninteresting  unless  backed  by 
the  personality  of  the  observer.  He  might  have  said : 

"I  had  noticed  that  the  miners  i»  Cornwall  had  been  unable 
to  escape  the  dominance  of  the  smelters." 

(34)  "One  used  generally  to  prospect  with  a  cocoa-nut 
shell,  and  when  one  wanted  to  try  a  piece  of  ground  on  a  bigger 
scale  the  thing  would  be  to  take  down  a  tree,  beat  the  bark  off, 
spread  it  out,  and  use  that  as  a  launder.    One  would  follow  this 


62  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

by  doing  something  else.    One  also  came  across  very  curious 
furnaces/'  and  so  forth. 

This  is  quoted  from  the  Transactions  of  the  Institution  of 
Mining  and  Metallurgy.  It  is  the  rambling  description  of  a 
modest  man,  shrinking  from  being  too  downright  and  avoiding 
even  the  semblance  of  pedantic  accuracy;  hence  the  woolly 
texture  of  his  verbiage.  He  was  writing  about  prospecting  in 
the  Malay  peninsula.  His  description  has  no  scientific  value 
unless  it  be  the  testimony  of  an  eye-witness;  being  such,  he 
ought  to  accept  the  responsibility  and  use  the  definitive  '  I '. 

(35)  "In  one  instance  one  had  anything  but  a  positive 
discharge  and  a  positive  feed,  whilst  in  the  other,  one  had  both 
of  these  points  absolutely  defined." 

Note  again  the  clash  between  the  numeral  one  and  the 
pronoun  one.  This  quotation,  referring  to  heavy  stamps,  is 
also  from  the  Transactions  of  the  premier  mining-engineering 
society  of  England.  Part  of  the  wearisome  use  of  one  is  due  to 
the  custom  of  reporting  in  the  third  person — the  oratio  obliqua. 
This  is  objectionable  in  matters  of  scientific  testimony.  A 
record  in  the  first  person  is  safer  and  more  intelligible. 

The  American  uses  'they'  as  an  indefinite  pronoun,  as  if  to 
compensate  for  abstaining  from  the  use  of  'one'  a  VAnglaise. 

(36)  "It  took  thirty  years  to  introduce  oil  flotation  and 
they  are  now  erecting  a  monument  to  the  memory  of  the  woman 
who  [that]  first  discovered  the  process." 

'They'  stands  for  the  public  or  those  interested  in  mining. 
'First'  is  redundant. 

To  return  to  our  indefinite  pronoun:  a  technical  writer  is  a 
scientific  witness;  his  testimony  is  valuable  because  he  vouches 
for  the  accuracy  of  it;  if  he  hide  his  identity  under  the  mock- 
modesty  of  the  indefinite  pronoun  he  contravenes  the  purpose 
that  is  supposed  to  prompt  his  utterance.  To  begin  a  statement 
in  the  first  person  may  seem  assertive,  but  it  simply  asserts 
the  responsibility  of  the  writer,  identifies  the  witness,  and 
places  him  on  record  as  testifying  to  the  fact.  To  begin  with 
'one'  is  to  start  under  a  cloud  of  impersonality,  to  evade  respon- 


IT,  ONE,  WITH,  WHILE  63 

sibility,  and  to  pose  as  a  nebulous  nonentity.  In  technology 
it  is  .necessary  to  sacrifice  elegance  to  precision;  the  writer 
on  technical  subjects  is  expected,  not  to  pose,  but  to  speak 
to  the  point  without  wasteful  circumlocution  or  mincing 
affectation. 

Some  people  seem  to  consider  the  first  person  positively 
indecent — they  shun  it.  Of  course,  unnecessary  egotism  is 
objectionable,  and  the  needless  repetition  of  'I '  is  a  fault,  but 
the  intrusion  of  self  into  a  matter  that  is  personal,  as  testimony 
must  be,  does  not  come  under  the  ban  of  good  taste.  On  the 
other  hand,  the  indefinite  pronoun  has  its  use,  of  course,  when 
one  desires  to  be  impersonal.  Thus  "One  may  well  be  afraid 
when  the  lions  roar"  is  a  pleasant  way  of  expressing  the  idea 
of  fear  without  attributing  timidity  to  any  person  in  particular. 
"One  is  loath  to  impugn  the  President's  motives"  is  a  proper 
way  of  suggesting  "more  than  an  individual  questioning  of  his 
motives.  Likewise  when  one  is  generalizing,  the  introduction 
of  the  ego  may  be  unnecessary  or  even  annoying;  thus:  "The 
training  of  mining  men  has  usually  been  so  broad  that  I  find 
[one  finds]  them  at  home  in  almost  any  branch  of  military 
engineering."  However,  in  technology  the  need  of  'one7  in 
such  contexts  does  not  arise  often. 

I  have  criticized  two  Britishisms,  not  out  of  ill-will,  but  for 
a  definite  purpose,  and  I  have  referred  to  one  or  two  American- 
isms in  exactly  the  same  spirit.  To  my  mind  Britishisms  and 
Americanisms  are  equally  objectionable;  they  are  provin- 
cialisms detrimental  to  the  currency  of  the  English  language, 
which  is  the  common  heritage  of  both  peoples.  The  official 
language  of  the  United  States,  a  language  that  originated  in 
Great  Britain,  is  spoken  in  the  same  way  by  those  who  speak 
it  well  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic.  I  can  assure  you  that  Mr. 
Eliot  and  Mr.  Choate,  for  example,  speak  exactly  the  same 
language  as  Mr.  Asquith  and  Mr.  Balfour;  and  if  any  of  us 
speak  or  write  differently  from  them,  we  may  be  using  British 
or  we  may  be  using  American,  but  we  are  not  using  English. 


VII.    THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS. 

An  educated  man  is  distinguished  from  others  neither  by 
his  clothes  nor  by  his  knowledge;  he  is  remarkable  not  for  the 
things  he  says,  but  for  the  way  he  says  them.  You  cannot 
even  stand  with  him  under  an  archway  in  the  rain  without 
rinding  him  out.  He  may  talk  only  of  the  weather.  His  words 
and  his  phrases  alike  may  be  simple.  What  distinguishes  him 
is  the  arrangement  of  his  words;  however  desultory  his  talk, 
it  will  be  methodical;  he  has  habituated  himself  to  foreseeing 
the  part  to  be  played  by  each  word  he  uses,  and  the  place  to 
be  taken  by  each  sentence  he  utters.  On  the  other  hand,  the 
uneducated  man,  though  shrewd  and  well-informed,  will  relate 
facts  and  events  as  they  recur  to  him,  generally  in  disorder; 
in  his  effort  to  recollect  and  in  his  attempt  to  rectify  forget- 
fulness,  he  will  pause  irregularly,  filling  the  intervals  with 
meaningless  phrases,  such  as  "and  then",  "and  so",  or  "said 
he  to  me",  "said  I  to  him",  and  even  the  continuous  parts  of 
his  story  will  be  told  confusedly,  because  he  has  not  learned  the 
proper  use  of  words.* 

My  own  experience  as  an  editor  of  technical  manuscript 
has  taught  me  that  ignorance  of  the  proper  uses  of  'that'  and 
'which'  is  a  fruitful  cause  of  obscurity  and  confusion.  The 
relative  pronouns  have  distinct  functions,  and  no  writer  can 
express  himself  clearly  until  he  has  learned  to  discriminate 
between  these  functions. 

(1)  "The  company  is  about  to  erect  a  leaching-plant  for 
the  silver-tin  concentrate  which  did  not  find  a  remunerative 
market  either  in  England  or  Germany." 

'Concentrate  that'  would  mean  only  the  particular  portion 
for  which  a  remunerative  market  was  not  found. 
*  Borrowed,  and  changed,  from  Coleridge. 
64 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  65 

'Concentrate,  which'  would  mean  all  the  silver-tin  con- 
centrate. 

'  Concentrate  which'  could  have  either  meaning. 

(2)  (a)  "The  engineers  that  refused  to  submit  were  dis- 
charged." 

(6)  "The  engineers,  who  refused  to  submit,  were  dis- 
charged." 

The  first  means  that  only  a  few  recalcitrant  engineers  were 
dismissed,  whereas  the  second  means  that  all  the  engineers 
were  recalcitrant  and  all  of  them  were  dismissed. 

(3)  "The  Trail  smelter  is  treating  ore  from  the  Sunshine 
mine  at  a  profit  which  runs  only  $6.10  per  ton." 

Is  the  profit  $6.10?  No;  for  that  would  be  ample,  and 
would  render  'only'  superfluous.  It  is  the  ore  that  assays  only 
$6.10  per  ton.  Substitute  'that'  for  'which'  and  the  meaning 
becomes  clear.  At  the  same  time  re-arrange  the  sentence  thus : 

"The  Trail  smelter  is  treating,  at  a  profit,  ore  from  the 
Sunshine  mine  that  assays  only  $6.10  per  ton." 

The  clause  "at  a  profit "v  may  seem  to  be  interjected  awk- 
wardly, but  it  is  placed  where  it  will  be  emphatic,  as  it  should 
be.  'Profitably'  might  be  substituted. 

(4)  "All  the  ore  from  the  lower  level  that  is  not  now  under 
water  is  being  sent  to  the  mill." 

What  is  under  water?  The  lower  level?  or  only  a  part  of 
the  ore  on  the  lower  level?  If  the  lower  level  is  meant,  'which' 
should  replace  'that'  and  two  commas  are  needed  to  complete 
the  relative  clause,  thus: 

"All  the  ore  from  the  lower  level,  which  is  not  now  under 
water,  is  being  sent  to  the  mill." 

The  dangers  of  punctuation  can  be  lessened  by  writing: 
"Since  the  lower  level  is  not  now  under  water,  all  the  ore  from 
it  is  being  sent  to  the  mill." 

If  a  part  of  the  lower  level  is  under  water  the  sentence  should 
read: 

"All  the  ore  from  the  part  of  the  lower  level  that  is  not 
under  water  is  being  sent  to  the  mill," 


66  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(5)  "I  recommend  the  flotation  process  that  has  been 
developed  so  successfully  in  Australia  for  the  treatment  of 
the  ore  at  Miami." 

He  does  not  say  what  he  means.  He  recommends  the 
flotation  process  in  general  and  intends  to  remark  incidentally 
that  it  has  been  developed  successfully  elsewhere;  he  is  not 
recommending  a  particular  flotation  process  noteworthy  as 
having  been  developed  in  Australia.  He  can  express  his  mean- 
ing clearly  by  changing  'that'  into  'which'  and  by  placing  a 
comma  before  'which'  and  after  'Australia'.  It  will  be  better 
to  re-arrange  the  sentence  thus: 

"For  the  treatment  of  the  ore  at  Miami,  I  recommend  the 
flotation  process,  which  has  been  developed  so  successfully  in 
Australia." 

The  relative  pronouns  serve  for  reference  and  connection. 
'Who',  its  possessive  'whose',  and  its  objective  'whom'  should 
properly  refer  to  living  things,  usually  persons,  sometimes 
animals.  By  poetic  license  we  may  speak  of  "the  city  whose 
future  is  assured".  But  it  is  inadvisable  to  say :  "The  smelter 
whose  operations  are  profitable".  Poetic  license  is  not  permis- 
sible in  technology.  So  we  may  say:  "The  smelter,  which 
is  operating  at  a  profit,  continues  to  produce  the  usual  quantity 
of  bullion." 

Historically  'whose'  is  the  possessive  of  'what'  as  well  as  of 
'who',  and  it  is  still  used  as  equivalent  to  'of  which',  par- 
ticularly when  the  latter  produces  an  awkward  construction. 
Hill  states  the  rule*  thus: 

"  'Whose'  is  used  of  anything  with  animal  life  or  of  anything 
personified;  'of  which'  is  used  of  anything  without  animal 
life,  unless  euphony  requires  'whose'."  He  suggests  that  it 
sounds  better  to  say: 

(6)  "The  Lilliputians  ask  Gulliver  to  destroy  the  nation 
whose  ships  he  had  already  taken"  than 

"The  Lilliputians  ask  Gulliver  to  destroy  the  nation  of 
which  he  had  already  taken  the  ships." 

*  'Beginnings  of  Rhetoric  and  Composition',  by  A.  S.  Hill,  p.  729. 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  67 

Yet  Professor  Hill  approves 

(7)  "A  lady  inquired  if  a  monthly  magazine,  the  name  of 
which  was  unknown  to  me,  had  yet  arrived." 

Preferring  this  to 

"A  lady  inquired  if  a  monthly  magazine,  whose  name  was 
unknown  to  me,  had  yet  arrived." 
Shakespeare  says  in  familiar  lines: 

(8)  "The  undiscovered  country  from  whose  bourn 

No  traveler  returns" 

But,  as  I  have  already  suggested,  the  usage  of  poetry  should 
not  be  imitated  in  prose,  least  of  all  in  technical  writing,  in 
which  precision  is  imperative. 

'Which'  is  not  inflected;  it  refers  usually  to  things  only, 
not  to  persons.  'That'  also  is  not  inflected;  it  refers  to  both 
persons  and  things;  it  cannot  be  modified  directly  by  a  prepo- 
sition. We  do  not  say  "The  man  in  that  we  trusted",  although 
colloquially  we  may  say:  "The  man  that  we  trusted  in" — 
an  awkward  clause.  To  'trust'  a  man  and  'to  put  your  trust 
in'  a  man  express  different  shades  of  meaning.  Therefore  we 
decide  to  say  "The  man  in  whom  we  trusted",  or,  simply, 
"The  man  we  trusted".  Likewise  we  would  not  say  "the 
house  in  that  Holmes  was  born",  nor  would  we  care  to  say 
"the  house  that  Holmes  was  born  in",  but  "the  house  in  which 
Holmes  was  born".  Thus  good  usage  leans  to  the  side  of 
euphony. 

The  use  of  'that'  for  referring  to  persons  is  considered  old- 
fashioned  by  many,  even  incorrect  by  some.  Webster's  dic- 
tionary defines  a  'director'  as  "one  that  directs".  The  Century 
dictionary  says  "one  who  directs".  My  own  experience  leads 
me  to  agree  with  Webster.  Here  'one'  stands  for  'the  kind  of 
person' ;  it  is  specific,  not  general.  I  would  say 

(9)  "The  man  that  said  so  is  worthy  of  respect",  and  not 
"The  man  who  said  so,  etc." 

As  we  shall  see  later,  'that'  should  introduce  a  definitive 
clause.  It  is  generally  conceded  to  be  required  when  a  superla- 
tive is  attached  to  the  antecedent: 


68  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(10)  "The  most  careful  man  that  I  could  find." 
"He  was  the  greatest  geologist  that  ever  lived." 

'That'  is  also  preferred  with  a  word  of  exclusive  or  com- 
prehensive meaning,  such  as  'only'  or  'any'.  Thus: 

(11)  "The  only  mineral  that  I  recognized." 
"Anybody  that  goes  this  way  is  in  danger." 

The  use  of  'and  which'  presents  another  difficulty  to  young 
writers — and  old  ones  too.  This  phrase  should  not  be  employed 
unless  it  is  preceded  by  another  subordinate  clause  introduced 
by  'which'.  It  is  correct  to  say: 

(12)  "He  went  to  the  Hercules  mine,  which  he  examined 
and  which  he  hopes  to  buy." 

It  is  not  proper  to  say: 

(13)  "This  is  the  kind  of  cyanide  I  prefer,  ana  which  I 
expect  to  use  in  the  mill." 

Here  'which'  should  be  deleted,  and  'it'  inserted  after  'use'. 
An  alternative  would  be  to  delete  'which'  and  the  second  'I', 
as  well  as  the  comma,  thus:  "This  is  the  kind  of  cyanide  I 
prefer  and  expect  to  use  in  the  mill. " 

(14)  "It  may  be  possible  to  operate  profitably  a  small 
plant   using   shale   conveniently   situated   and  which   can   be 
mined  at  a  low  cost." 

"It  may  be  possible  to  operate  profitably  a  small  plant  if 
it  is  supplied  from  a  deposit  of  shale  so  situated  as  to  be  mined 
cheaply." 

The  chief  difficulty  is  to  discriminate  between  the  use  of 
'that'  on  the  one  hand  and  of  'who'  or  'which'  on  the  other. 
Most  writers  seem  to  consider  'that'  and  'which'  interchange- 
able; therefore  they  employ  'that'  as  an  agreeable  variant  of 
'which',  and  get  into  trouble.  Since  'that'  also  plays  the 
part  of  a  conjunction,  an  adverb,  and  a  demonstrative  pro- 
noun, they  prefer  'which'  to  'that'  when  choice  appears  per- 
missible. 

I  shall  take  special  pains  to  discuss  the  uses  of  'that'  and 
'which'  because  my  own  experience  has  caused  me  to  appre- 
ciate keenly  how  necessary  it  is  to  have  a  thorough  under- 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  69 

standing  of  the  distinctive  functions  of  these  pronouns.    The 
main  distinction  is  this : 

THE  FUNCTION  OF  'THAT'  is  TO  DEFINE  AND  TO  RESTRICT; 

THE  FUNCTION  OF  '  WHICH'  IS  TO  EXPLAIN  AND  TO  SUPPLEMENT. 

At  this  point  I  am  in  honor  bound  to  inform  you  that 
several  authorities  hold  a  different  -opinion;  but  I  must  add 
emphatically  that  in  the  course  of  my  work  as  an  editor  of 
technical  manuscript,  and  in  revising  my  own  writing,  I  have 
been  impressed  by  the  fact  that  the  observance  of  this  rule, 
regulating  the  use  of  'that'  and  'which',  tends  to  clearness  of 
expression. 

(15)  "This  is  the  house  that  Jack  built." 

The  words  'that  Jack  built'  restrict  or  limit  the  meaning 
of  'house';  the  sense  is  not  complete  without  them;  therefore 
'that'  is  the  pronoun  to  be  used  here,  in  accordance  with  the 
general  rule  that  if  the  relative  clause  is  clearly  essential  to  the 
meaning  of  the  statement — that  is,  if  it  limit  or  define  the  ante- 
cedent noun — 'that'  should  be  used,  and  not  'which'  or  'who'. 

Another  familiar  example  of  the  restrictive  use  of  the  pro- 
noun 'that'  is  furnished  by 

(16)  "The  man  that  has  plenty  of  good  peanuts." 

On  the  other  hand,  the  supplementary  or  explanatory  clause 
requires  'which' ;  for  example : 

(17)  "Dogs,  which  of  all  animals  are  most  friendly  to  man, 
sometimes  bite  their  masters." 

(18)  "Houses,  which  are  made  to  live  in,  should  be  built 
with  a  view  to  comfort." 

In  these  examples  the  relative  clauses  have  a  logical  relation 
to  the  principal  statement;  they  are  explanatory  and  supple- 
mentary to  that  statement. 

(19)  "The  mill,  which  was  quite  new,  was  destroyed  by 
the  snow-slide." 

Here  'which'  introduces  a  secondary  statement,  supple- 
mentary to  the  main  one,  which  asserts  the  principal  fact  con- 
cerning the  destruction  of  the  mill.  If  'that'  had  been  used, 
the  idea  conveyed  would  be  that  one  mill  out  of  several,  namely, 


70  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

the  newest  of  them,  had  been  destroyed.  Here  ' which'  is  cor- 
rect. The  commas  mark  the  beginning  and  the  end  of  the  inter- 
jected clause. 

Relative  clauses,  as  I  have  said,  are  divisible  into  'defining' 
and  'non-defining'.  The  function  of  the  defining  clause  is 
to  limit  the  antecedent,  which  is 'the  noun  or  clause  to  which 
the  relative  pronoun  refers;  it  may  express  limitation  in 
several  ways;  but  whichever  way  it  may  perform  its  .work,  it 
is  essential  to  and  inseparable  from  the  antecedent. 

(20)  "A   process   that   will   extract   both   metals   will   be 
adopted." 

Here  the  clause  "will  extract  both  metals"  is  introduced 
by  'that'  because  it  defines  "the  process".  Remove  the 
defining  clause  ("that  will  extract  both  metals")  and  nothing 
remains;  to  say  "a  process  will  be  adopted"  means  nothing. 

(21)  "The  process,  which  is  of  recent  invention,  extracts 
both  the  gold  and  the  silver  at  a  low  cost." 

Here  the  clause  "is  of  recent  invention",  introduced  by 
'which',  is  non-defining;  it  is  a  bit  of  incidental  information 
and  can  be  omitted  without  affecting  the  principal  statement 
concerning  the  extraction  of  "both  the  gold  and  the  silver  at  a 
low  cost". 

(22)  "The  flotation  process  which  is  no  longer  in  the  experi- 
mental stage  can  be  applied  to  an  ore  of  this  kind." 

Here  the  clause  introduced  by  'which'  can  be  lifted  without 
spoiling  the  sense,  because  it  merely  introduces  supplementary 
information.  Commas  should  be  used  before  'which'  and  after 
'stage';  otherwise  the  sentence  is  unorganized. 

The  best  test  for  distinguishing  between  the  two  kinds  of 
relative  clauses  is  essentiality.  The  non-defining  clause  may 
serve  in  a  measure  to  define  or  to  limit  by  reason  of  its  descriptive 
nature;  so  also  the  defining  clause  may  contribute  toward  com- 
ment or  explanation ;  but  the  test  of  being  essential  can  be  met 
only  by  the  defining  clause;  the  information  given  by  it  must 
be  taken  at  once,  or  both  it  and  its  antecedent  are  useless.* 
*  See  'The  King's  English';  p.  79. 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  71 

A  simple  rule  for  the  use  of  'that'  and  'which'  is  given  by 
Alexander  Bain,  and  commended  by  Edwin  A.  Abbott  in  his 
little  guide-book,  'How  to  Write  Clearly'.  The  rule  is:  "When 
using  the  relative  pronoun,  use  'who'  and  'which'  where  the 
meaning  is  'and  he',  and  'and  it',  etc.,  'for  he',  'for  it',  etc. 
In  other  cases,  use  'that'  if  euphony  allows."  Thus: 

(23)  "I  heard  this  from  the  mine  manager,  who  [and  he] 
heard  it  from  the  man  that  was  in  charge  of  the  work." 

In  this  example  'that'  cannot  be  replaced  by  'and  he',  but 
the  'who'  can.  The  clause  following  'who'  is  continuative  and 
supplementary,  but  the  clause  following  'that'  is  distinctly 
restrictive;  it  defines. 

Abbott  also  says:  "  'Who'  and  'which'  introduce  a  new 
fact  about  the  antecedent,  whereas  'that'  introduces  something 
without  which  the  antecedent  is  incomplete  or  undefined." 
Thus,  in  the  above  example,  "I  heard  it  from  the  mine  man- 
ager" is  a  complete  statement;  'who'  introduces  additional 
information  concerning  him,  namely,  his  having  heard  about 
"this"  from  another  man;  but  the  phrase  beginning  with  "the 
man"  is  incomplete  without  the  distinguishing  clause  "that 
was  in  charge  of  the  work". 

Here  is  another  good  example: 

(24)  "I  met  the  boatman  who  took  me  across  the  ferry." 

If  this  should  imply,  "I  met  the  boatman  and  he  took  me 
across  the  ferry",  then  a  comma  ought  to  precede  the  'who' 
introducing  the  continuative  clause,  but  if  I  am  referring  to 
the  particular  boatman  by  whose  help  I  had  crossed,  I  ought  to 
say: 

"I  met  the  boatman  that  took  me  across  the  ferry." 
Hodgson  makes  a  similar  distinction;  he  says  that  'who' 
and  'which'  should  connect  two  co-ordinate  sentences,  whereas 
'that'  should  be  restrictive,  limiting,  and  defining.  Thus: 
"Margaret  Finch,  who  died  in  1740,  was  109  years  old"  may 
be  divided  into  two  co-ordinate  clauses,  accordingly :  "  Margaret 
Finch  died  in  1740,  and  was  109  years  old."  But  "Blessings 
on  the  man  that  invented  sleep"  can  no  more  be  resolved  into 


72  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

two  sentences  than  can  "Blessed  be  the  inventor  of  sleep". 
The  use  of  'who'  without  a  comma  as  in  "Blessings  on  the  man 
who  invented  sleep"  is  saved  by  the  continuation  of  the  sense. 

Let  me  suggest  another  simple  test:  a  clause  introduced  by 
'who'  or  'which'  usually  should  be  set  off  by  commas.  Correct 
punctuation  indicates  that  the  clause  is  supplementary.  If 
the  commas  spoil  the  sense,  'that'  should  be  substituted  or  the 
sentence  should  be  re-written.  Again,  'who'  or  'which'  usually 
refers  to  the  word  immediately  preceding,  but  'that'  may 
throw  the  reference  back  to  a  word  or  an  idea  earlier  in  the 
statement.  Thus: 

"The  Trail  smelter  is  treating  ore  from  the  Sunshine  mine 
that  assays  only  $6.10  per  ton." 

The  assay  refers  to  'ore',  not  'mine.' 

(25)  "A  party  of  soldiers  from  Camp  Douglas  were  [was] 
guarding  some  horses  belonging  to  the  garrison  which  [that] 
had  been  sent  to  graze  in  Bingham  canyon." 

So  writes  a  historian.  It  was  the  'horses',  not  the  'garri- 
son', that  had  been  sent  to  graze,  and  the  use  of  the  correct 
pronoun  makes  this  clear. 

(26)  "I   quote  from   Sir  J.   J.   Thomson's   'Discharge  of 
Electricity  through  Gases',  who  made  a  thorough  investigation." 

The  'who',  coming  after  the  name  of  the  treatise,  fails  to 
throw  the  reference  back  to  Thomson.  A  re-arrangement  is 
required,  thus: 

"I  quote  from  'Discharge  of  Electricity  through  Gases' 
by  Sir  J.  J.  Thomson,  who  made  a  thorough  investigation." 

(27)  "The  defunct  American  Bank  of  Alaska,  at  Fairbanks, 
owns  a  number  of  claims  on  this  creek,  which  fell  into  its  hands 
for  money  loaned." 

If  the  creek  fell  into  its  hands,  as  is  asserted,  the  stocks  held 
by  the  bank  must  have  been  much  watered.  The  'which', 
being  preceded  by  the  comma,  ties  the  reference  to  the  imme- 
diately preceding  word  'creek',  although  the  reference  should 
be  thrown  back  to  'claims'.  Substitute  'that'  for  'which'  and 
delete  the  comma. 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  73 

(28)  "Resolved,  that  drinking  places,  which  are  haunts  of 
vice,  are  dangerous  and  should  be  eliminated." 

This  resolution  was  submitted  at  a  brewers'  convention. 
They  did  not  mean  that  all  public  drinking-places  were  "  haunts 
of  vice".  They  meant  to  "eliminate"  only  such  drinking-places 
as  were  haunts  of  vice.  The  clause  was  meant  to  be  restrictive, 
but  the  substitution  of  'which'  for  'that'  made  it  continuative. 

In  describing  plant  or  machinery,  which  consists  of  a 
number  of  correlated  parts;  likewise  in  describing  a  process, 
which  consists  of  inter-dependent  operations,  it  is  necessary 
to  define,  to  specify  the  part  played  by  each  member  of  the 
series,  and  to  make  clear  the  relation  of  one  to  the  other.  In 
order  to  accomplish  this  purpose,  the  relative  pronouns  must 
be  used  discriminatingly.  For  example,  in  describing  a  mill 
for  concentrating  copper  ore: 

(29)  "The  rolls  discharge  into  a  wire  screen,  the  mesh  being 
varied  from  1  to  1J  in.  according  to  the  proportion  of  moisture, 
which  ranges  from  5  to  13%.    The  undersize  is  carried  to  the 
conveyor  that  serves  the  preceding  screen,  while  the  oversize 
goes  to  an  elevator  which  takes  it  to  a  fourth  set  of  screens, 
similarly  adjusted." 

The  'that'  serves  to  introduce  a  defining  clause  essential 
to  the  description.  The  first  'which'  introduces  a  secondary 
item  of  information.  The  second  'which',  after  'elevator', 
is  equivalent  to  'and  it' ;  the  clause  is  continuative. 

Here  is  the '  description  of  a  filter  for  de-watering  con- 
centrate : 

(30)  "It  consists  of  a  revolving  drum  on  which  is  stretched 
a  porous  medium  of  canvas  that  is  immersed  in  the  concentrate 
during  a  part  of  the  revolution,  the  concentrate  being  drawn 
to  the  canvas  by  the  action  of  a  vacuum  induced  within  the 
drum  so  as  to  suck  the  pulp,  which,  becoming  de-watered,  is 
detached  by  compressed  air,  releasing  the  vacuum." 

The  immersion  of  the  canvas  is  essential.  The  'which'  can 
be  replaced  by  'and  it'. 

Many  of  our  best  writers  and  speakers  ignore  the  distinction 


74  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

between  'that'  and  'which',  deeming  it  a  matter  of  euphony 
only.  In  consequence,  they  fail  to  express  themselves  clearly. 
In  a  speech  of  international  importance,  Mr.  Lloyd  George, 
the  British  Premier,  said : 

(31)  "Nor  are  we  fighting  to  destroy  Austria-Hungary  or 
to  deprive  Turkey  of  its  capital,  or  of  the  rich  and  renowned 
lands  of  Asia  Minor  and   Thrace  which   are   predominantly 
Turkish  in  race." 

This  means  that  the  Allies  are  not  fighting  to  deprive 
Turkey  of  Asia  Minor  and  Thrace.  Mr.  George  appears  to 
give  the  supplementary  information  that  these  two  regions  are 
"predominantly  Turkish  in  race".  What  he  means  to  say  is 
that  the  Allies  are  not  fighting  to  deprive  Turkey  of  the  Asiatic 
and  Thracian  lands  that  are  predominantly  Turkish  in  race, 
such  as  Turkey  proper  and  Anatolia,  but  they  do  expect  to 
end  Turkish  misrule  in  Arabia,  Armenia,  Mesopotamia,  Syria, 
and  Palestine. 

President  Wilson  is  a  skilful  writer,  and  he  appears  to  appre- 
ciate the  defining  function  of  'that'  most  of  the  time,  but  not 
always: 

(32)  "The  German  government  denies  the  right  of  neutrals 
to  use  arms  at  all  within  the  areas  of  the  sea  which  [that]  it  has 
prescribed,  even  in  the  defence  of  rights  which  [that]  no  modern 
publicist  has  ever  before  questioned  their  right  to  defend. " 

In  the  above  quotation,  both  of  the  clauses  introduced  by 
'which'  restrict  and  define,  therefore  'that'  is  preferable.  It 
makes  the  statement  clearer  and  stronger. 

The  Council  of  National  Defense  is  responsible  for  the  fol- 
lowing: 

(33)  "If  you  do  not  own  a  smelter,  may  we  ask  you  to 
instruct  the  smelter  which  [that]  smelts  your  ores  to  furnish 
one-sixth  of  the  lead-content  of  the  ore  which  [that]  it  accepts 
from  you  in  July  on  the  Government  order  and  notify  them 
that  you  will  accept  in  settlement  for  that  amount  of  lead  in 
your  ore  the  price  that  the  Government  is  paying." 

The  first  'which'  should  be  replaced  by  'that'  because  it 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  75 

introduces  a  restrictive  clause;  so  also  the  second  'which',  for 
the  same  reason.  The  first  'that'  in  the  quotation  is  a  con- 
junction, the  second  is  a  demonstrative  pronoun,  and  the 
third  is  a  relative  pronoun  (used  this  time  correctly,  instead  of 
'which')  introducing  a  defining  clause.  Each  'that'  is  employed 
correctly,  but  they  are  crowded  unhappily.  The  entire  state- 
ment is  infelicitous.  The  word  'smelter'  is  used  first  to  signify 
a  metallurgical  plant  and  then  to  signify  the  manager  or  the 
owner  of  such  a  plant.  To  whom  does  'them'  refer?  Pre- 
sumably the  owners  of  the  smelting  plant. 

(34)  "They  could  take  anything  in  Russia,  which  they  con- 
sidered worth  the  trouble.    The  Russians  can  never  drive  them 
out  of  the  vast  stretches  of  Russian  territory  which  they  now 
occupy."    'The  New  Republic'. 

Delete  the  comma  before  the  first  'which'  and  substitute  a 
'that'.    The  second  'which'  is  not  needed. 
John  Graham  Brooks  says: 

(35)  "One  of  the  most  careful  of  our  critics  who  studied 
us  for  three  years  felt  this  danger." 

How  many  of  these  critics  studied  us  for  three  years? 
'Who'  can  be  replaced  by  'and  he'.  The  sentence  can  be  better 
organized,  thus:  "A  most  careful  critic,  who  studied  us  for 
three  years,  felt  this  danger." 

Sidney  Colvin,  in  the  'Introduction'  to  'The  Letters  of 
Robert  Louis  Stevenson',  says: 

(36)  "Once  more,  it  may  be  questioned  whether  among  the 
many  varieties  of  work  which  [that]  Stevenson  has  left,  all 
touched  with  genius,   all   charming  and   stimulating  to  the 
literary  sense,  all  distinguished  by  a  grace  and  precision  of 
workmanship  which  are  the  rarest  qualities  in  English  art, 
there  are  any  which  [that]  can  be  pointed  to  as  absolute  master- 
pieces, such  as  the  future  cannot  be  expected  to  let  die." 

The  "precision  of  workmanship"  of  Stevenson's  literary 
executor  suffers,  I  think,  by  the  use,  twice,  of  'which'  for 
'that',  because  in  each  case  the  pronoun  introduces  a  defining 
clause.  The  second  'which'  is  correct. 


76  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

In  contrast,  permit  me  to  quote  an  eloquent  and  informing 
sentence  by  Charles  M.  Gayley,  who,  in  'Shakespeare  and 
The  Founders  of  Liberty  in  America',  describes  Richard 
Hooker  thus: 

(37)  "In  Sandys  and  Shakespeare  we  recognize  the  religious 
ideal  of  freedom  tempered  by  reverence,  the  political  ideal  of 
liberty  regulated  by  law  and  conserved  by  delegated  authority, 
the  moderation,  tolerance  of  divergent  opinion,  the  broad  and 
sympathetic  confidence  in  progress  rather  than  in  rigidity  or 
finality,  that  are  characteristic  of  the  most  philosophical  writer 
upon  politics,  the  broadest  minded,  most  learned,  and  most 
eloquent  divine  of  sixteenth-century  England." 

Note  how  the  five  antecedent  clauses  are  introduced  by 
'that'  so  as  to  accentuate  the  completeness  of  the  description. 
This  fine  utterance  would  have  been  wrecked  by  the  use  of 
'which',  weakening  the  keystone  of  this  symmetrical  literary 
arch  to  the  memory  of  the  great  philosopher  of  the  Shake- 
spearian epoch. 

There  is  an  exception  to  every  rule.  Your  comprehension 
of  a  rule  will  be  tested  by  recognizing  the  exception,  for  it  is 
then  that  you  learn  how  to  follow  the  spirit  of  the  rule  intelli- 
gently, not  mechanically.  'That'  is  not  available  for  all 
restrictive  clauses,  for  in  some  of  them  the  conjunction  'that' 
may  lead  to  an  awkward  repetition  of  the  word.  For  instance, 

(38)  "He  said  that  he  had  examined  a  mine  in  the  Leadville 
district  which  is  in  a  position  to  furnish  large  quantities  of 
manganese." 

'Which'  should  be  replaced  by  'that';  in  consequence,  the 
conjunction  'that'  would  be  too  near  the  pronoun  'that'.  This 
would  be  awkward.  Delete  the  first  'that',  because  it  will  be 
understood;  also  re-cast  the  introductory  clause  thus:  "He 
spoke  of  having  examined  a  mine,  etc." 

Whenever  a  sentence  appears  doubtful  in  the  light  of  any 
rule,  it  is  probable  that  the  sentence,  not  the  rule,  needs 
changing.  When  in  doubt,  re-build  the  sentence. 

(39)  "Jones,  who  was  one  of  the  men  whom  [that]  I  brought 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  77 

from  Colorado,  would  not  leave  his  work,  which  ensured  the 
completion  of  the  job  which  [that]  I  had  much  at  heart." 

The  'whom'  and  the  second  'which'  can  be  deleted,  and  the 
latter  half  of  the  statement  changed,  thus : 

" Jones,  who  was  one  of  the  men  I  brought  from  Colorado, 
would  not  leave  his  work;  thus  his  fidelity  ensured  the  com- 
pletion of  a  job  I  had  much  at  heart." 

(40)  "A  pipe-line  therefore  is  laid  down  the  shafts,  which 
carry  water  to  sprays  set  under  the  timbers." 

This  refers  to  protection  from  fire  underground.  The 
'shafts'  do  not  "carry  water  to  the  sprays";  the  reference  is  to 
the  'pipe-lines'.  The  relative  pronoun  is  not  required. 

"A  pipe-line  therefore  is  laid  down  each  shaft,  to  carry  water 
for  sprays  set  under  the  timbers." 

(41)  "In  the  mountains  of  the  State  there  are  hidden 
rare  minerals,  besides  gold,  copper,  and  silver,  which  are  able 
to  produce  some  of  the  metals  most  needed  in  the  iron  and  steel 
industries." 

The  'which'  refers  to  'rare  minerals',  not  to  'gold,  copper, 
and  silver'. 

"In  the  mountains  of  the  State  are  to  be  found  not  only 
ores  of  gold,  silver,  and  copper,  but  also  minerals  that  might 
yield  some  of  the  rare  metals  needed  in  the  iron  and  steel 
industry." 

(42)  "There  were  very  few  miners,  who  escaped  without 
serious  injury." 

This  might  be  resolved  into  "and  all  escaped",  whereas  if 
'that'  had  been  used,  without  the  comma,  the  truth  would 
have  been  stated,  namely,  "Almost  all  the  miners  were  seri- 
ously injured"  or  "Only  a  few  miners  escaped  serious  injury". 

The  foregoing  examples  serve  to  illustrate  the  advantage 
to  be  gained  by  re-writing  an  awkward  or  ambiguous  sentence. 
A  doubtful  meaning  is  worse  than  a  grammatical  error.  Do 
not  hesitate  to  re-build  the  sentence  if  it  seem  unsafe. 

(43)  "Hoisting  was  done  through  the  centre  compartment 
only,  by  means  of  two  15J-CU.  ft.  buckets  used  alternately 


78  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

and  dumped  automatically  on  top  into  the  car  by  means  of  a 
chain  hung  from  the  head-frame  which  was  hooked  into  a 
ring  on  the  bottom  of  the  bucket  holding  the  bottom  stationary 
and  allowing  it  to  tip  on  an  incline-door  and  chute,  thereby 
discharging  its  contents." 

The  head-frame  was  not  hooked  to  the  bottom  of  the 
bucket!  'Which'  refers  to  the  chain.  Splitting  into  two  sen- 
tences and  proper  punctuation  will  clarify  the  meaning,  thus: 

"Hoisting  was  done  through  the  central  compartment  only, 
by  means  of  two  15J-CU.  ft.  buckets,  which  were  used  alter- 
nately and  dumped  automatically  at  the  surface  into  a  car 
by  means  of  a  chain  hanging  from  the  head-frame.  This 
chain  was  hooked  to  a  ring  on  the  bottom  of  the  bucket  so  as 
to  hold  it  stationary  while  it  was  being  discharged  upon  an 
incline-door  and  chute." 

Here  'which'  introduces  a  supplementary  statement,  fol- 
lowed by  further  information. 

(44)  "The  road  vibration  alone  will  loosen  nuts  and 
rivets,  which  if  not  attended  to  in  time  will  cause  serious 
trouble." 

The  road  does  not  vibrate;  it  is  the  motor-truck,  to  which 
the  statement  refers,  that  vibrates.  The  'which'  does  not  refer 
to  'rivets'  but  to  'loosen'.  Re-cast  the  entire  statement,  and 
avoid  the  preposition-verb  'attended  to',  thus: 

"The  vibration  of  the  truck  while  on  the  road  will  loosen 
the  nuts  and  rivets;  and  this,  if  neglected,  will  cause  serious 
trouble." 

The  last  example  again  serves  to  show  that  it  is  best  not  to 
tinker  with  a  bad  sentence,  but  to  re-write  it.  By  so  doing  you 
not  only  make  a  useful  correction,  but  you  learn  to  improve 
your  composition.  Mistakes,  when  corrrected,  become  stepping- 
stones  to  the  attainment  of  skill  in  writing,  as  in  life  generally. 

It  may  seem  that  I  have  laid  excessive  stress  on  the  dis- 
tinction between  the  relative  pronouns,  particularly  as  it  must 
be  granted  that  the  practice  of  reputable  authors  is  indis- 
criminate. So  good  a  teacher  as  Professor  Hill  says  that  "in 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  79 

this  matter  the  ear  is  a  surer  guide  than  any  theory",  and  he 
imputes  the  use  of  'that'  in  such  lines  as 

(45)  "Hearts  that  once  beat  high  for  praise"  (Moore) 
"Thoughts  that  breathe  and  words  that  burn"  (Gray) 

not  to  any  grammatical  theory  but  to  euphony,  because 
"  'that',  following  without  intervening  pause  a  plural  noun 
ending  in  's',  is  easier  to  speak  and  more  agreeable  to  hear  than 
'which'  would  be".*  But  to  this  I  must  demur;  the  'thats' 
in  these  quotations  are  doing  their  duty.  Sense  should  not  be 
sacrificed  to  euphony,  particularly  in  technical  writing,  in 
which  grace  of  diction  is  frankly  subordinated  to  clearness  and 
precision.  Take  the  following  example: 

(46)  "The  company  will  erect  a  plant  to  treat  the  residues 
that  were  not  saleable  during  the  War." 

The  'that' — let  us  suppose — is  used  for  the  sake  of  euphony, 
to  avoid  collision  between  'which'  and  the  final 's'  in  'residues'. 
The  statement  now  means  that  a  plant  is  to  be  erected  for  the 
treatment  only  of  such  residues  as  were  unsaleable  during  the 
War,  whereas  the  writer  meant  to  say,  and  would  have  said 
it  if  he  had  used  'which',  with  a  comma,  that  all  the  residues 
were  unsaleable  and  were  to  be  treated  locally  in  the  company's 
new  plant. 

James  P.  Kelleyf  quotes  Hill  as  having  defined  'ease'  as 
the  "quality  which  makes  language  agreeable",  but  on  the 
next  page  he  himself  writes :  "  '  The  quality  that  makes  language 
agreeable'  manifests  itself  in  many  ways."  He  adds:  "The 
writer  who  goes  to  work  to  exhibit  the  pleasing  features  of 
his  style  is  on  dangerous  ground;  let  him  beware  lest  he  violate 
the  first  principle  of  ease."  It  was  to  'ease'  perhaps  that  he 
sacrificed  the  'that'  after  "writer",  and  to  euphony  that  we 
owe  his  use  of  it  in  the  next  quotation,  given  herewith: 

(47)  "He  that  doesn't  care  will  never  learn  to  write;  and  he 
that  cares  will  'take  suggestion  as  a  cat  laps  milk'."    "He  who" 
repeated  would  suggest  the  braying  of  an  ass. 

*  A.  S.  Hill,  Op.  cit.  Page  126. 

f  In  'Workmanship  in  Words',  a  stimulating  textbook. 


30  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

No;  euphony  is  too  uncertain  a  guide  for  the  technical 
writer;  it  may  cajole  him  into  ambiguities  not  to  be  risked  in 
the  serious  work  he  has  in  hand.  He  is  more  likely  to  attain 
clearness  of  style  if  he  will  make  up  his  mind  whether  he 
intends  to  define  or  to  comment,  using  'that'  for  the  first 
purpose,  and  'who'  or  'which',  with  commas  to  set  off  the  com- 
menting clause,  for  the  second  purpose. 

It  may  be  argued  that  because  the  great  masters  of  our 
language  are  inconsistent  in  their  use  of  'that'  and  'which', 
therefore  it  is  not  for  technical  writers  to  attempt  to  make 
the  distinction.  I  think  it  is,  if  we  can  increase  the  clearness  of 
our  expression  thereby.  For  instance,  Ruskin  says:  "Out  of 
the  infinite  heap  of  things  around  us  in  the  world,  human 
invention  chooses  a  certain  number  which  it  can  thoroughly 
grasp,  and  presents  this  group  to  the  spectator  in  the  form  best 
calculated  to  enable  him  to  grasp  it  also,  and  to  grasp  it  with 
delight."  This  is  the  writing  of  a  past-master,  yet,  I  suggest, 
"which"  introduces  a  defining  clause  and  therefore  should  give 
place  to  'that'.  He  is  explaining  how  human  invention  chooses 
a  small  number  of  things  out  of  a  heap  of  things,  and  it  chooses 
to  select  the  particular  things  it  can  grasp  thoroughly;  there- 
fore 'that'  is  preferable;  it  expresses  the  meaning  more  clearly 
than  'which'.  Let  it  be  noted,  moreover,  how  Ruskin  avoids 
the  unnecessary  'thats'  and  'whiches',  as,  for  example,  in  the 
introductory  sentence  in  the  above  quotation,  where  he  might 
have  written:  "Out  of  the  infinite  heap  of  things  that  are 
around  us  in  the  world".  Most  of  us  use  these  relative  pro- 
nouns too  much,  creating  needless  difficulties  for  ourselves. 
I  am  tempted  to  quote  Ruskin  further,  partly  because  the 
quotations  are  delightful  in  themselves,  but  mainly  to  show  how 
his  indifference  to  the  distinction  between  'that'  and  'which' 
is  a  defect  in  his  splendid  writing.  I  shall  quote  from  the 
fourth  volume  of  'Modern  Painters'  because  it  deals  with 
geology.  He  speaks  of  the  motion  given  to  water  by  the  moun- 
tains : 

(48)  "Every  fountain  and  river,  from  the  inch-deep  stream- 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  81 

let  that  crosses  the  village  lane  in  tumbling  clearness,  to  the 
massy  and  silent  march  of  the  everlasting  multitude  of  waters 
in  Amazon  or  Ganges,  owe  their  play,  and  purity,  and  power, 
to  the  ordained  elevations  of  the  earth.  Gentle  or  steep, 
extended  or  abrupt,  some  determined  slope  of  the  earth's  sur- 
face is  of  course  necessary,  before  any  wave  can  so  much  as 
overtake  one  sedge  in  its  pilgrimage;  and  how  seldom  do  we 
enough  consider,  as  we  walk  beside  the  margins  of  our  pleasant 
brooks,  how  beautiful  and  wonderful  is  that  ordinance,  of  which 
every  blade  of  grass  that  waves  in  their  clear  water  is  a  per- 
petual sign;  that  the  dew  and  rain  fallen  on  the  face  of  the 
earth  shall  find  no  resting-place;  shall  find,  on  the  contrary, 
fixed  channels  traced  for  them,  from  the  ravines  of  the  central 
crests  down  which  they  roar  in  sudden  ranks  of  foam,  to  the 
dark  hollows  beneath  the  banks  of  lowland  pasture,  round  which 
they  must  circle  slowly  among  the  stems  and  beneath  the 
leaves  of  the  lilies;  paths  prepared  for  them,  by  which,  at  some 
appointed  rate  of  journey,  they  must  evermore  descend,  some- 
times slow  and  sometimes  swift,  but  never  pausing;  the  daily 
portion  of  the  earth  they  have  to  glide  over  marked  for  them 
at  each  successive  sunrise,  the  place  which  has  known  them 
knowing  them  no  more,  and  the  gateways  of  the  guarding 
mountains  opened  to  them  in  cleft  and  chasm,  none  letting 
them  in  their  pilgrimage;  and,  from  far  off,  the  great  heart  of 
the  sea  calling  them  to  itself!" 

He  uses  'that'  twice  to  introduce  a  restrictive  clause,  but  he 
also  uses  one  'which'  for  a  precisely  similar  purpose.  Is  it  not 
preferable  to  say,  "the  place  that  has  known  them"?  The  "of 
course"  is  a  blemish;  the  statement  in  which  it  appears  is  no 
more  self-evident  than  many  others  in  the  same  paragraph; 
it  mars  the  dignity  of  the  diction.  Delete  the  "of  course" 
and  the  comma  after  "necessary".  Note  how  skilfully  he  uses 
"down  which",  "round  which",  and  "by  which",  in  sequence, 
to  describe  the  course  of  the  water.  Note  also  the  effectiveness 
of  the  two  Bands',  in  "their  play,  and  purity,  and  power",  to 
emphasize  the  manifold  consequences  of  nature's  ordinance; 


82  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

but  he  uses  too  many  'ands',  for  instance,  the  one  before  "how 
seldom",  where  he  joins  two  separate  ideas. 

Here  is  another  fine  passage  to  show  the  use  of  these  trouble- 
some pronouns.  He  is  speaking  of  the  beauty  of  the  district 
between  Valorsine  and  Martigny. 

(49)  "The  paths  which  lead  to  it  out  of  the  valley  of  the 
Rhone,  rising  at  first  in  steep  circles  among  the  walnut  trees, 
like  winding  stairs  among  the  pillars  of  a  Gothic  tower>  retire 
over  the  shoulders  of  the  hills  into  a  valley  almost  unknown, 
but  thickly  inhabited  by  an  industrious  and  patient  popula- 
tion. Along  the  ridges  of  the  rocks,  smoothed  by  the  old 
glaciers  into  long,  dark  billowy  swellings,  like  the  backs  of 
plunging  dolphins,  the  peasant  watches  the  slow  coloring  of 
the  tufts  of  moss  and  roots  which,  little  by  little,  gather  a 
feeble  soil  over  the  iron  substance;  then,  supporting  the  narrow 
strip  of  clinging  ground  with  a  few  stones,  he  subdues  it  to  the 
spade;  and  in  a  year  or  two  a  little  crest  of  corn  is  seen  waving 
upon  a  rocky  casque.  The  irregular  meadows  run  in  and  out 
like  inlets  of  lake  among  these  harvested  rocks,  sweet  with 
perpetual  streamlets,  that  seem  always  to  have  chosen  the  steep- 
est places  to  come  down,  for  the  sake  of  the  leaps,  scattering 
their  handfuls  of  crystal  this  way  and  that,  as  the  wind  takes 
them,  with  all  the  grace,  but  with  none  of  the  formalism,  of 
fountains;  dividing  into  fanciful  change  of  dash  and  spring, 
yet  with  the  seal  of  their  granite  channels  upon  them,  as  the 
lightest  play  of  human  speech  may  bear  the  seal  of  past  toil." 

This  "play  of  human  speech"  is  so  exquisite  that  it  is  safe 
to  infer  the  toil  of  the  true  artist.  Note  the  imagery:  the  paths 
like  "winding  stairs";  the  rounded  rocks  like  "plunging  dol- 
phins"—the  porpoises  of  unpoetic  fact;  "the  crest  of  corn 
upon  the  rocky  casque" ;  the  meadows  "like  inlets  of  lake  among 
the  harvested  rocks".  Note  also  the  large  proportion  of  simple 
Anglo-Saxon  words,  rendering  the  few  Latin  words  particularly 
effective.  But  what  of  the  'thats'  and  'whiches'?  The  first 
'which'  should  be  replaced  by  'that'  because  it  introduces  a 
definition  of  "the  paths",  namely ,  those  leading  to  this  district 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  83 

from  the  Rhone.  The  second  'which'  is  acceptable,  because 
it  introduces  a  descriptive  clause,  not  essential  to  the  argument. 
However,  a  comma  is  needed  before  it,  to  supplement  the  semi- 
colon after  it.  The  first,  and  only,  'that'  should  be  replaced 
by  a  'which',  because  it  introduces  a  supplementary  clause, 
not  a  defining  or  restrictive  clause.  Moreover,  the  use  of  'which' 
would  be  acceptable  because  it  would  avoid  the  repetition  of 
'that'  three  lines  lower.  However,  'which'  might  be  unpleasant 
between  "streamlets"  and  "seem".  Ruskin  was  writing  some- 
thing akin  to  poetry,  and  may  be  deemed  beyond  the  criticism 
that  applies  to  technical  writing,  which  is  endangered  by  listen- 
ing for  euphony. 

These  quotations  suffice  to  illustrate  how  Ruskin  ignored 
the  distinction  on  which  I  have  ventured  to  lay  stress.  Other 
skilful  users  of  English  show  the  same  disregard;  for  example, 
Huxley.  He  is  speaking  of  the  formation  of  coal: 

(50)  "When  the  fallen  trunks  which  have  entered  into  the 
composition  of  the  bed  of  coal  are  identifiable,  they  are  mere 
double  shells  of  bark,  flattened  together  in  consequence  of  the 
destruction  of  the  woody  core;  and  Sir  Charles  Lyell  and 
Principal  Dawson  discovered,  in  the  hollow  stools  of  coal  trees 
of  Nova  Scotia,  the  remains  of  snails,  millipedes,  and  salaman- 
der-like creatures,  embedded  in  a  deposit  of  a  different  char- 
acter from  that  which  surrounded  the  exterior  of  the  trees. 
Thus,  in  endeavoring  to  comprehend  the  formation  of  a  seam 
of  coal  we  must  try  to  picture  to  ourselves  a  thick  forest,  formed 
for  the  most  part  of  trees  like  gigantic  club-mosses,  mares- 
tails,  and  tree-ferns,  with  here  and  there  some  that  had  some 
resemblance  to  our  existing  yews  and  fir-trees.  We  must  sup- 
pose that,  as  the  seasons  rolled  by,  the  plants  grew  and  devel- 
oped their  spores  and  seeds;  that  they  shed  these  in  enormous 
quantities,  which  accumulated  on  the  ground  beneath;  and  that, 
every  now  and  then,  they  added  a  dead  frond  or  leaf;  or,  at 
longer  intervals,  a  rotten  branch,  or  a  dead  trunk,  to  the  mass." 

This  is  quoted  from  one  of  his  popular  lectures,  revised 
before  publication,  of  course,  but  still  not  an  example  of  his 


84  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

most  finished  style.    Nevertheless,  it  illustrates  his  power  as 
an  expositor  of  science  to  the  unlearned. 

Three  relative  pronouns  are  used,  besides  the  compound 
"that  which".  This  obviously  is  necessitated  by  euphony. 
Even  when  the  two  pronouns,  one  demonstrative  and  the 
other  relative,  are  separated  we  use  'that  which'  instead  of 
'that  that'.  Likewise  by  analogy  most  writers  prefer  'those 
which'  or  'those  who'  to  'those  that';  thus: 

(51)  "In  those  low-grade  mines  which  call  for  rigid  econ- 
omy." 

Returning  to  our  quotation  from  Huxley;  the  first  'which' 
introduces  a  restrictive  clause.  It  is  true,  by  placing  a  comma 
before  " which"  and  after  "bed  of  coal",  the  clause  could  be 
treated  as  supplementary  and  descriptive,  because  Huxley 
had  previously  introduced  the  idea  of  coal  being  formed  from 
fallen  trees,  but  in  the  opening  sentence  of  this  paragraph  he 
is  undoubtedly  defining  the  "fallen  trunks"  as  the  subject  under 
discussion.  The  'that'  before  "had  some  resemblance"  is 
acceptable,  for  it  is  followed  by  a  restrictive  clause.  The 
second  'which'  likewise  is  correct,  for  it  introduces  a  supple- 
mentary and  non-essential  bit  of  information. 

I  shall  quote  from  Huxley  again,  and  from  the  same  'lay 
sermon' : 

(52)  "Let  us  suppose  that  one  of  the  stupid,  salamander- 
like  Labyrinthodonts,  which  pottered,  with  much  belly  and  little 
leg,  like  Falstaff  in  his  old  age,  among  the  coal-forests,  could 
have  had  thinking  power  enough  in  his  small  brain  to  reflect 
upon  the  showers  of  spores  which  kept  on  falling  through  years 
and  centuries,  while  perhaps  not  one  in  ten  million  fulfilled  its 
apparent  purpose,  and  reproduced  the  organism  which  gave 
it  birth:  surely  he  might  have  been  excused  for  moralizing  upon 
the  thoughtless  and  wanton  extravagance  which  Nature  dis- 
played in  her  operations.     But  we  have  the  advantage  over 
our  shovel-headed  predecessor — or  possibly  ancestor — and  can 
perceive  that  a  certain  vein  of  thrift  runs  through  this  apparent 
prodigality.    Nature  is  never  in  a  hurry,  and  seems  to  have  had 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  85 

always  before  her  eyes  the  adage,  'Keep  a  thing  long  enough 
and  you  will  find  a  use  for  it'.  She  has  kept  her  beds  of  coal 
many  millions  of  years  without  being  able  to  find  much  use  for 
them;  she  has  sent  them  down  beneath  the  sea,  and  the  sea- 
beasts  could  make  nothing  of  them;  she  has  raised  them  up 
into  dry  land,  and  laid  the  black  veins  bare,  and  still,  for 
ages  and  ages,  there  was  no  living  thing  on  the  face  of  the  earth 
that  could  see  any  sort  of  value  in  them;  and  it  was  only  the 
other  day,  so  to  speak,  that  she  turned  a  new  creature  out  of 
her  workshop,  who  by  degrees  acquired  sufficient  wits  to  make 
a  fire,  and  then  to  discover  that  the  black  rock  would  burn." 

Six  relative  pronouns  appear.  The  first  calls  for  no  remark; 
it  introduces  a  bit  of  unessential,  but  delightful,  description 
concerning  the  labyrinthodonts — they  "pottered  with  much 
belly  and  little  leg,  like  Falstaff  in  his  old  age".  The  second 
'which'  begins  a  restrictive  clause,  for,  it  seems  to  me,  the 
words  that  follow,  from  "kept"  to  ""birth"  are  essential  to  the 
statement,  as  is  further  suggested  by  the  use  of  the  definite 
article  before  "showers  of  spores".  He  is  referring  to  showers 
of  spores  of  a  particular  kind.  The  third  ' which'  undoubtedly 
should  be  replaced  by  'that',  for  he  defines  the  organism  as 
the  particular  one  from  which  the  spore  was  born.  The  fourth 
'which'  might  be  omitted;  if  not,  then  it  also  should  give  place 
to  a  'that',  for  it  introduces  a  restrictive  clause.  The  fifth 
relative  pronoun  is  a  'that',  as  it  should  be;  but  if  he  uses  it 
here  why  does  he  not  use  it  where  the  previous  'which'  appears? 
Evidently  he  employs  them  undiscriminatingly.  Then  comes  a 
'who',  following  "workshop",  but  with  no  reference  to  that 
word.  By  substituting  'that',  and  deleting  the  comma  the 
sense  is  carried  back  to  "new  creature"  and  connected  with  the 
subsequent  clause.  He  has  used  the  conjunction  'that'  immedi- 
ately before  and  after  'who',  so  he  might  have  preferred  the 
latter  for  the  sake  of  euphony;  but  it  is  more  probable  that  he 
used  'who'  in  order  to  evoke  the  image  of  man's  progenitor. 

It  will  be  noted  that,  in  these  quotations,  Huxley  uses  'and ' 
too  frequently.  He  might  have  employed  other  connectives. 


86  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

The  'and'  before  "Sir  Charles  Lyell",  in  the  first  quotation, 
is  particularly  bad  because  he  uses  it  to  join  two  discrete  ideas; 
moreover,  he  is  compelled  to  use  another  'and'  immediately 
afterward  to  link  the  names  of  the  two  geologists.  The  writ- 
ings of  these  great  men  are  not  immune  from  criticism,  which 
neither  lessens  our  appreciation  of  their  skill  nor  diminishes  our 
enjoyment  of  their  work. 

The  reading  of  the  best  writings  suggests  that  the  general 
rule  for  the  use  of  'that'  to  introduce  clauses  expressing  an 
essential  limitation,  restriction,  distinction,  or  definition  is 
subject  to  exception;  it  includes  locutions  that  are  unaccept- 
able. In  attempting  to  further  the  cause  of  precision,  we  must 
not  offend  unnecessarily  against  usage  that  is  old,  honored, 
and  persistent.  As  the  word  'that'  plays  the  part  not  only  of 
a  relative  pronoun,  but  also  of  a  demonstrative  pronoun,  an 
adverb,  and  a  conjunction,  it  is  desirable  to  spare  it.  Evidently 
sub-rules  are  needed.  These  can  be  found  by  analyzing  the 
best  writings.  We  have  seen  how  an  occasional  'that'  can  be 
dropped  without  harm.  "A  house  not  built  by  hands"  has 
precision,  conciseness,  perspicuity,  and  dignity  in  greater 
degree  than  the  alternative  form,  "A  house  that  is  not  built 
by  hands".  I  venture  to  suggest  four  sub-rules: 

(A)  When  the   antecedent  and   the   subject  are  brought 
together  so  that  misunderstanding  is  impossible,  as  in  the 
sentence  just  quoted,  it  is  well  to  omit  the  'that'. 

(B)  When  the  indefinite  article  precedes  the  subject  [for 
example,   "a  person"],  the  pronoun  'who'  or  'which'  should 
introduce  the  subsequent  clause  [for  example,  "whom  you  are 
anxious  to  persuade"];    but  when  the  definite  article  is  used 
["the  person"],  the  pronoun  'that'  should  be  employed  to  intro- 
duce the  subsequent  clause  ["that  you  are  anxious  to  please"]. 

In  the  first  example,  "a  person"  is  not  an  individual  but 
the  representative  of  a  group;  in  the  second,  the  reference  is 
to  an  individual  to  whom,  or  for  whose  sake  in  particular, 
something  is  to  be  done.  Every  relative  clause  tells  something 
about  the  noun  in  the  antecedent  clause,  and,  therefore,  in  a 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  87 

sense,  is  adjectival;  it  serves  in  one  way  or  another  to  describe, 
and  by  so  doing  to  suggest  restriction;  yet  it  may  not  dis- 
tinguish or  particularize;  it  may  not  point  to  it  as  necessarily 
the  one  thing  of  its  kind  in  the  world  to  which  reference  is  being 
made.  Then  'which'  is  preferable.  When,  on  the  contrary, 
the  idea  of  another  thing  with  the  same  name  is  implicit,  and 
the  subsequent  clause  says  in  effect,  'This  is  the  one  I  am 
talking  about,  not  any  of  the  others',  then  'that'  is  demanded. 

(53)  "The  police  captured  a  thief  who  had  a  mole  on  the 
end  of  his  nose,  an  ear  missing,  six  toes  on  his  left  foot,  and, 
whose  thumb-print  belonged  to  subdivision  67  of  class  G." 

There  may  have  been  no  trouble  in  identifying  him,  yet 
the  clause  giving  all  this  information  begins  properly  with 
'who'.  On  the  other  hand:  "The  police  caught  the  thief  that 
they  sought"  points  to  one  only;  it  separates  him  from  others 
more  completely  than  all  the  ear-marks  given  in  the  preceding 
quotation. 

(C)  When  a  person  or  thing  has  been  mentioned  previously 
and  designated  as  possessing  some  quality  that  differentiates 
him  or  it  from  others  of  his  or  its  class,  then  'who'  or  'which' 
is  preferable  to  'that'  in  beginning  a  clause  designed  to  recall 
the  quality.     "The  Denver  editor,  who  was  contemptuous  of 
the  effort  to  write  well,  ignored  this  rule."    My  previous  men- 
tion of  him,  as  the  man  that  wanted  "to  get  there"  in  his  own 
slipshod  way,  made  it  unnecessary  to  identify  him;   therefore 
the  clause  after  'who'  is  a  supplementary  clause,  by  way  of 
reminder  only. 

(D)  The  relative  clause  ceases  to  introduce  'a  necessary 
definition  whenever  the  antecedent  has  been  defined  by  a 
possessive  pronoun;   therefore  'who'  or  'which'  should  replace 
'that'. 

(54)  "My  brother,  who  enlisted  two  years  ago,  has  returned 
from  France." 

(55)  "Our  methods,  which  may  commend  themselves  to 
you,  are  the  product  of  long  experience." 

The  relative  pronouns  are  used  far  more  than  is  necessary, 


88  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

and  the  lavish  use  of  them  invites  needless  trouble  for  both 
the  writer  and  the  reader.    Several  substitutes  are  available. 

(a)  When  the  relative  pronouns  have  led  you  into  a  verbal 
entanglement,  cut  loose,  and  start  again  with  'and  this'. 

(56)  "He  enlarged  the  mill,  which  enabled  him  to  lower  the 
cost  per  ton." 

It  were  better  to  say: 

"He  enlarged  the  mill,  and  this  enabled  him  to  lower  the 
cost  per  ton." 

(b)  Another  means  of  escape  from  a  choice  of  relative  pro- 
nouns is  to  begin  a  new  sentence  with  a  semicolon  followed 
by  'this' ;  for  example : 

(57)  "He  enlarged  the  mill;  this  enabled  him  to  lower  the 
cost  per  ton." 

(c)  The  defining  clause  can  be   replaced  by  the   present 
participle,  but  be  sure  you  have  a  noun  for  it! 

(58)  "I  have  seen  an  Australian  gold  ore  that  resembles 
this." 

"That  resembles"  can  be  replaced  by  "resembling". 

(d)  The  infinitive  is  a  common  substitute,  thus: 

(59)  "He  was  the  first  that  succeeded  [to  succeed]." 

(60)  "This  is  not  a  man  that  will  save  [to  save]  money." 

(e)  The  relative  pronouns  are  used   often  to   introduce  a 
clause  giving  a  reason,  whereas  the  explanatory  clause  should 
begin  with  'since',  'because',  or  'although'. 

(61)  "The  company  is  about  to  erect  a  leaching-plant  for 
the  silver-tin  concentrate  for  which  [because]  it  did  not  find  a 
remunerative  market  [for  it]  either  in  England  or  Germany." 

(62)  "Mines,   which   are  usually   regarded   as  sources  of 
wealth,  are  often  the  cause  of  much  financial  loss." 

Here  'which'  can  be  replaced  by  'although',  with  a  re- 
arrangement of  the  sentence,  thus : 

"Mines  are  often  the  cause  of  much  financial  loss,  although 
they  are  usually  regarded  as  sources  of  wealth." 

(64)  I  wrote,  "Delete  the  first  'that',  which  will  be  under- 
stood." Later  I  substituted  'because  it'  for  the  'which'. 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  89 

(f)  'By  which',  'in  which',  and  other  awkward  locutions  can 
be  replaced  by  'whereby'  and  'wherein'. 

(65)  "The  method  by  which  [whereby]  this  result  can  be 
achieved." 

(66)  "It  is  a  process  in  which  [wherein]  the  nicest  chemical 
adjustment  is  essential." 

I  have  drawn  attention  already  to  the  occasional  omission 
of  the  relative  pronoun  as  favorable  to  perspicuity  rather  than 
to  obscurity.  Landor,  in  his  '  Imaginary  Conversations',  makes 
Horn  Tooke  quote  Cato,  after  Middleton: 

(67)  "The  high  office  which  you  fill  and  the  eminent  dis- 
tinction that  you  bear." 

To  which  Dr.  Johnson  replies: 
"Much  better  without  both  'which'  and  'that'." 
Later  Tooke  says:    "The  rejection  of  'that'  in  the  proper 
place  is  a  cause  of  peculiar  elegance,  for  it  bears  heavily  on  our 
language.    The  Romans  were  fortunate  to  avoid  it  by  means 
of  the  infinitive  of  their  verbs." 

(68)  "He  said  that  he  would  be  glad  to  accept  the  appoint- 
ment." 

'That'  can  be  omitted. 

(69)  "Sulphide  ores  which  [that]  have  [had]  been  previously 
untouched  were  shipped  in  large  quantities." 

Why  fuss  about  the  relative  pronouns  needlessly?  State 
simply : 

"Sulphide  ore  previously  untouched  was  shipped  in  large 
quantity." 

Note  the  superfluous  plurals;  he  was  referring  to  only  one 
kind  of  sulphide  ore. 

(70)  "It  follows  that  the  liquids  which  are  near  their  critical 
point  will  have  small  surface-tensions." 

'  That'  should  replace  'which' ;  but  neither  is  needed.  When 
corrected,  the  statement  would  read  as  follows:  "It  follows 
that  liquids  when  near  their  critical  points  will  have  small 
surface-tensions . ' ' 

(71)  "Substantial    evidence   is    at    hand    which    goes    to 


90  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

show  that  floatable  minerals  have  the  positive  sign  of  elec- 
tricity." 

'Which'  should  be  'that7,  because  it  introduces  a  defining 
clause,  but  the  change  would  bring  the  relative  pronoun  'that' 
close  to  the  conjunction  'that',  and  this  would  be  awkward.  So 
it  were  better  to  say: 

"There  is  ample  evidence  to  show  that  floatable  minerals 
have  the  positive  sign  of  electricity." 

"To  hand"  is  a  frill;  if  the  evidence  is  known,  it  is  'to  hand'. 
"Substantial"  may  be  a  synonym  for  'important'  or  'strong',  or 
'actual',  as  opposed  to  illusory.  It  is  a  mistake  to  use  a  word  of 
many  meanings  without  indicating  the  particular  one  intended. 
REMEMBER  THE  READER.  Also  remember  that  all  rules  must 
give  way  to  the  main  objective,  which  is  to  make  oneself  under- 
stood beyond  a  doubt.  If  a  sentence  fails  in  this  purpose,  how- 
ever correct  grammatically,  re-arrange  it.  Re-consider  what 
you  want  to  say  and  start  again.  Don't  tinker  with  defective 
writing,  for  by  so  doing  you  run  the  risk  of  retaining  one  of  the 
defects.  Good  writing  calls  for  care — persistent  care;  it  calls 
for  a  literary  conscience  that  refuses  to  be  satisfied  with  unfin- 
ished work. 

Kelley  says:  "There  be  not  many  so  well  born,  well 
trained,  and  well  read,  and  withal  so  informed  with  the  spirit 
of  goodness  and  beauty,  as  to  be  effectually  called  to  the  higher 
ranges  of  literary  expression;  and  even  for  such  there  is  no 
short  and  easy  road — though  there  is  indeed  a  royal  road — 
to  their  destination.  But  there  are,  and  will  continue  to  be, 
countless  writers  of  higher  or  lower  degree  who  ought  to  do 
their  work  far  better  than  they  have  done  it,  and  far  better 
than  ordinary  writers  have  ever  done  it.  For  all  such  it  is 
important  that  they  should  at  least  know  what  to  avoid; 
and  knowing  what  to  avoid  is  in  effect  knowing  what  to  aim 
at  and  what  to  strive  for.  To  trained  workmen  I  do  not  profess 
to  give  instruction;  but  because  in  my  own  experience  to  have 
my  attention  called  to  an  error  has  been  so  often  the  beginning 
of  an  effort  henceforth  to  avoid  it,  I  have  confidence  that  any 


THE  RELATIVE  PRONOUNS  91 

other  sincere  workmen  will  be  interested  and  helped  if  I  make 
them  think  of  faults  to  which  they  have  paid  little  attention 
hitherto." 

I  quote  this  with  keen  pleasure  because  Mr.  Kelley  says, 
better  than  I  can,  what  I  would  like  to  say. 


VIII.    PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS 

The  function  of  a  preposition  is  to  indicate  the  relation  of 
one  thing  to  another;  it  is  necessary  therefore  to  select  the 
preposition  that  suggests  that  relation.  Such  selection  will  be 
controlled  by  the  requirements  of  the  context  and  by  idiomatic 
usage. 

(1)  D'Israeli  says:     "The  conversations  of  men  of  letters 
are  of  a  different  complexion  with  the  talk  of  men  of  the  world." 

"The  conversations  of  men  of  letters  are  of  a  complexion 
different  from  that  of  the  talk  of  men  of  the  world." 

(2)  Hallam  says:     "This  inspired  so  much  apprehension 
into  printers  that  they  became  unwilling  to  incur  the  hazard  of 
an  obnoxious  trade." 

"This  inspired  printers  with  such  apprehension  that  etc." 

(3)  A.  C.  Benson  says:     "I  want  to  learn  to  distinguish 
between  what  is  important  and  unimportant,  between  what  is 
beautiful  and  ugly,  between  what  is  true  and  false." 

One  does  not  distinguish  'between'  what  is  beautiful  and 
ugly  or  'between'  any  other  single  thing;  one  does  distinguish 
between  what  is  beautiful  and  what  is  ugly;  but  what  he 
really  wanted  to  do  was  to  distinguish  the  beautiful  from  the 
ugly,  the  true  from  the  false. 

(4)  A  physicist  writes:    "During  the  experiments  a  record 
was  made  on  [of]  the  effect  produced  by  various  concentrations 
of  sulphur  di-oxide  gas  on  [upon]  the  senses." 

(5)  A  metallurgist  writes:     "The  two  kinds  of  flotation 
concentrate  are  conducted  through  [by]  concrete  launders  to  the 
elevators." 

(6)  An  engineer  says:     "We  must  offer  a  protest  over 
[against]  this  latest  order." 

The  use  of  the  appropriate  preposition  is  essential  to  per- 
spicuity. "One  virtue  of  style  is  perspicuity",  said  Aristotle. 

92 


PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS  93 

For   example:     'to'    denotes    done,    terminated,    or   finished; 
'from'  denotes  beginning;  and  'by'  denotes  agency. 

Inside,  outside,  and  alongside  do  not  require  an  'of  after 
them. 

(7)  "Alongside  of  this  eccentric  and  disturbing  force"  'The 
Saturday  Review'. 

(8)  "Outside  of  the  market  for  military  uses,  a  premium 
can  be  obtained  for  electrolytic  zinc." 

(9)  "The  boat  was  moored  alongside  of  the  wharf." 
In  each  case  'of  should  be  deleted. 

A  common  error  is  to  place  'of  after  'all',  as  in 

(10)  "All  of  the  men  refused  to  work." 

(11)  "He  expected  to  roast  all  of  the  ore." 
A  mining  engineer  protests: 

(12)  "  Under  [in]  these  circumstances  I  refuse  to  agree  to 
your  proposal." 

A  veteran  mining  engineer  reminisces: 

(13)  "Which  led  to  my  first  introduction  to  that  firm,  the 
best  known  British  firm  in  that  country,  and  whom  I  subse- 
quently returned  to  work  for  in  after  years,  and  have  since 
kept  up  a  close  professional  connection  with." 

Note  the  misplaced  prepositions,  ending  the  paragraph  with 
one  that  is  insignificant.  The  statement  might  be  revised  thus: 

"Which  led  to  my  introduction  to  Brown,  Jones  &  Co.,  which 
is  the  best  known  British  firm  in  that  country  and  one  for 
which  I  worked  in  after  years;  indeed,  I  may  say  that  I  have 
maintained  a  close  professional  connection  with  Brown,  Jones 
&  Co.  to  this  day." 

The  mention  of  the  firm's  name  makes  the  statement 
clearer  and  more  informing. 

(14)  A  superintendent  writes:    "It  was  proposed  to  widen 
the  blades  7  to  11  inches."    If  he  means  that  the  width  is  to 
be  increased  by  more  than  7   inches,  he  should  insert  'by' 
after  'blades';   but  if  he  means,  as  he  does,  that  the  width  is 
to  be  increased  from  7  inches,  as  it  is  now,  to  11  inches,  he 
should  insert  'from'  after  'blades'. 


94 


TECHNICAL  WRITING 


English  idiom  requires  certain  prepositions  to  follow  certain 
nouns,  adjectives,  or  verbs.  The  following  list  is  far  from 
complete,  but  it  may  prove  suggestive  and  useful: 


Abound  in 

Accord  with 

Account  for 

Acquiesce  in 

Adhere  to 

Adverse  to 

Averse  from 

Agree  to  a  proposal 

Agree  with  a  person 

Capable  of 

Capacity  for 

Consist  of  (composition) 

Consist  in  (definition) 

Commence  by  doing  something 

Commence  with  an  act 

Commence  from  a  point 

Compare  with 

Demand  for  a  thing 

Demand  of  a  person 

Differ  from 

Different  from 

Fullo/ 

Indifferent  to 

In  view  of  facts 

With  a  view  to  doing  something 

Labor  under  a  difficulty 

Labor  for  a  person 

Labor  in  a  good  cause 

Labor  at  a  task 

Live  for  riches 

Live  by  labor 

Live  on  an  income 

Look  after  a  business 

Look  at  a  thing 

Look  into  a  matter 


Look  over  an  account 
Look  for  a  missing  article 
Need  of 
Necessity  for 
Overcome  with  fatigue 
Overcome  by  entreaties 
Provide  for  the  future 
Provide  against  the  evil  day 
Provide  oneself  with  something 
Pursuant  to 
In  pursuance  of 
Ready  for  a  journey 
Ready  with  an  answer 
Ready  at  arithmetic 
Reckon  on  a  result 
.  Reckon  with  a  contingency 
Reckoning  with  a  person 
Responsible  for  an  action 
Responsible  to  a  person 
Result  of  an  examination 
Result  in  a  failure 
Result  from  a  previous  event 
Satisfied  of  a  fact 
Satisfied  with  a  little 
Satisfaction  in  an  improvement 
Secure  from  harm 
Secure  against  attack 
Suited  to  the  occasion 
Suited  for  a  part 
Tamper  with 
Tinker  at 
Vary  from 
At  variance  with 
Versed  in 
Conversant  with 


Prepositions  commonly  transfuse  something  of  their  own 
meaning  into  the  word  with  which  they  are  compounded. 


PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS  95 

In  technical  writing  it  will  be  found  that  words  of  Latin 
origin  help  to  make  nice  distinctions  of  meaning  and  establish 
the  precision  for  which  we  strive  constantly.  The  short  and 
simple  Anglo-Saxon  may  suit  the  poet's  purpose,  but  the 
engineer  will  discover  that  many  old-fashioned  English  words 
have  associations  and  meanings  unfitting  them  for  his  special  use. 
This  applies  to  the  numerous  preposition-verbs,  which,  idiomatic 
though  they  be,  and  an  essential  part  of  our  language,  should  be 
avoided  or  used  sparingly  by  the  technical  writer.  They  came 
into  every-day  use  long  before  modern  science  was  developed 
and  they  carry  with  them  the  looseness  of  meaning  character- 
istic of  colloquial  speech.  Note  the  following  equivalents: 

Call  for  Demand,  require 

Carry  out  Perform,  conduct 

Deal  with  Treat,  discuss 

Decide  on  Select 

Do  away  with  Discard 

End  up  Conclude 

Fall  off  Decline,  decrease 

Go  into  Investigate,  examine 

Go  on  with  Continue 

Keep  up  Maintain 

Keep  out  Exclude 

Look  for  Anticipate,  expect 

Look  upon  Regard 

Make  up  Compose 

Make  use  of  Utilize 

Make  up  to  Compensate 

Prove  up  Confirm 

Put  in  Insert 

Put  up  with  Endure 

Refer  to  Mention 

Result  in  Cause 

Speed  up  Accelerate,  hasten 

Try  out  Test 

Work  out  Devise 

(15)  "As  regards  the  miners,  a  much  more  serious  prospect 
of  social  disaster  had  been,  it  was  hoped,  done  away  with  [pre- 
vented or  obviated]." 


96  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(16)  "The    various    innovations    were    tried    out    [tested] 
before  being  used." 

(17)  "The    company   has    been    meeting   with    [obtaining] 
profitable  results  at  Cochasayhuas." 

As  an  editor  I  have  become  convinced  that  the  excessive 
use  of  preposition-verbs  is  a  serious  obstacle  to  precision  and 
clearness  in  writing.  The  habit  of  using  them  is  more  British 
than  American,  but  it  is  an  obstacle  to  perspicuous  writing 
wherever  the  English  language  is  spoken. 

(18)  'Punch'  published  a  series  of  cartoons  to  show  'What 
our  artist  has  to  put  up  vrith.' 

The  most  cultivated  of  Englishmen  trip  over  their  prepo- 
sitions, largely  because  they  employ  so  many  preposition- 
verbs,  which  require  the  most  careful  handling.  For  example, 
Arthur  J.  Balfour  said: 

(19)  "There  must  be  men  in  the  House  [of  Commons]  who 
see  that  of  all  the  evils  the  Constitution  can  suffer  from  rash 
legislation  is  the  most  dangerous." 

'To  suffer  from'  is  idiomatic — I  cannot  call  it  incorrect — 
but  you  will  note  the  confusion  caused  by  the  misplacing  of 
'from'.  In  speaking,  'from'  is  pronounced  immediately  after 
'suffer',  leaving  a  slight  interval  before  'rash',  but  in  reading 
'from'  appears  linked  to  'rash  legislation'.  He  meant  to  say: 

"There  must  be  men  in  the  House  who  see  that  of  all  the 
evils  threatening  the  Constitution,  the  most  dangerous  is  rash 
legislation." 

I  am  aware,  of  course,  that  Shakespeare  can  be  quoted  in 
defence  of  such  a  placing  of  the  preposition;  for  example: 

(20)  "What  a  taking  was  he  in  when  your  husband  asked 
what  was  in  the  basket."    'Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,'  Act  III, 
sc.  3. 

(21)  "I  have  a  letter  from  her 

Of  such  contents  as  you  will  wonder  at."    'Merry 
Wives  of  Windsor,'  Act  III,  sc.  6. 

One  can  find  examples  of  similar  usage  in  the  writings  of 
Addison,  Goldsmith,  Jane  Austen,  Ruskin,  and  Stevenson,  as 


PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS  97 

shown  by  Professor  Hill*,  no  mean  authority  on  correct  usage; 
but,  on  examination,  it  will  be  found  that  the  examples  quoted 
usually  represent  colloquial  expressions.  In  technical  writing 
the  preposition-verb  does  not  give  the  precision  required. 
Shakespeare's  characters  spoke  naturally,  so  they  spoke 
imperfectly.  I  can  find  no  just  warrant  for  quoting  slips  of 
conversation  as  guides  for  correct  usage  in  deliberate  writing. 
I  prefer  Professor  Hill's  conclusion:  ."A  good  author  does  not 
hesitate  to  put  a  preposition  at  the  end  of  a  sentence,  when,  on 
grounds  of  clearness,  force,  or  ease,  he  thinks  it  belongs  there; 
but  often,  perhaps  usually,  he  finds  that  it  belongs  somewhere 
else."  I  submit  that  whereas  sometimes  the  shifting  of  the 
preposition  may  contribute  to  ease  it  rarely  ministers  either  to 
clearness  or  force. 

(22)  'The  Westminster  Gazette'  says,  "One  of  the  con- 
clusions at  which  Lord  Rosebery  has  arrived  at  in  the  study  of 
Dr.  Johnson  is  that  he  would  have  made  a  splendid  journalist." 

It  seems  to  me  that  a  "splendid  journalist"  would  not  have 
used  his  prepositions  so  carelessly.    Delete  the  second  'at'. 

(23)  'The  Times'  speaks  of  "the  unfailing  enthusiasm  which 
Mr.  Roosevelt  has  met  with."     It  were  better  to  say,  "the 
unfailing   enthusiasm   with   which   Mr.    Roosevelt   has   been 
received." 

(24)  E.  F.  Benson  writes:  "Lucia  flicked  off  with  the  tassel 
of  her  riding  whip  a  fly  that  her  mare  was  twitching  its  skin  to 
get  rid  of." 

Evidently  he  forebore  from  writing  'her  skin',  because  it 
might  have  suggested  that  the  lady  Lucia  was  being  twitched. 

(25)  Hilaire  Belloc,  the  military  critic,  writes:    "First,  as 
to  the  points  the  bombardment  of  which  from  the  air  one  reads 
of  almost  daily  in  the  present  development  of  the  aerial  offensive 
by  the  Allies — which,  by  the  way,  is  proving  the  increasing 
superiority  of  the  allied  air  navies." 

What  a  bombardment  of  prepositions! 

*  '  Beginnings  of  Rhetoric  and  Composition',  by  Adams  Sherman  Hill, 
pp.  489-490. 


98  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

American  authors  make  similar  blunders;  for  example, 
William  Dean  Howells  concludes  an  article  thus: 

(26)  "This  is  the  climax  I  have  been  working  up  to,  and  I 
call  it  a  fine  one;  as  good  as  a  story  to-be-continued  ever  ended 
an  instalment  with." 

He  makes  a  childish  anti-climax  by  using  an  insignificant 
little  preposition  as  his  last  word. 

(27)  A  social  reformer  writes:    "It  is  palpable  that  radical 
revision  of  laws,  which  have  diverted  so  many  millions  of 
dollars  into  the  pockets  of  the  non-producing  legal  fraternity, 
is  called  for." 

"There  is  palpable  need  for  a  radical  revision  of  the  laws 
that  have  caused  so  many  millions  of  dollars  to  be  diverted  into 
the  pockets  of  the  unproductive  legal  fraternity." 

(28)  Robert  K.  Duncan  writes:    "It  should  be  the  young 
man's  business  to  learn  all  the  chemistry  and  cognate  knowledge 
that  he  can  lay  his  hands  upon  in  the  laboratory;    and  his 
brain  alongside  of  in  the  study  library." 

Note  how  the  prepositions  become  coupled  awkwardly  in 
this  quotation,  which  is  full  of  literary  atrocities. 

(29)  An  engineer  writes :    "  The  gold-mining  industry  which 
the  Government  looks  to  for  its  supply  of  gold." 

The  'to'  should  precede  'which'. 

A  reviewer  in  the  '  New  Republic'  begins  a  paragraph  thus : 

(30)  "He  had  met  with  [found  or  seen],  in  China  in  1803, 
an  old  commentary  of  one  of  the  books  of  Confucius." 

The  six  prepositions  in  this  quotation  tumble  over  one 
another  in  a  heedless  way;  note  the  consecutive  use  of  'in' 
twice  and  of  'of  thrice. 

C.  W.  Barron,  in  the  'Boston  News  Bureau',  writes: 

(31)  "Governments  in  Europe  are  breaking  up.    Govern- 
ments in  Mexico  are  one  after  another  breaking  down" 

Does  he  mean  that  the  change  from  the  Czar  to  the  Bol- 
shevists is  upward  and  from  Diaz  to  the  Villistas  downward? 
Quien  sabef  The  feeble  prepositions  are  burdened  with  too 
much  philosophy. 


PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS  99 

President  Wilson  said  recently: 

(32)  "One  can  feel  sure  that  Franklin  would  have  succeeded 
in  any  part  of  the  national  life  that  it  might  have  fallen  to  his 
lot  to  take  part  in." 

The  use  of  'part'  in  two  different  senses  is  confusing.  He 
meant: 

"One  can  feel  sure  that  Franklin  would  have  succeeded 
in  any  department  of  the  national  life." 

The  same  distinguished  writer  said  : 

(33)  "If  there  should  be  disloyalty,  it  will  be  dealt  with 
with  a  firm  hand." 

'Dealt  with'  stands  for  'punished '. 

If  the  literati  blunder  so  absurdly,  it  is  no  wonder  that 
casual  writers  go  astray;  they  use  prepositions  in  order  to 
intensify  their  verbs;  for  example,  to  'test  out',  to  'win  out'. 

(34)  "He  tested  out  the  process." 

(35)  "He  is  sure  to  win  out  in  this  competition." 

I  note  that  the  other  day  Colonel  House  "sat  in  with  the 
Big  Four",  and  more  recently  I  heard  a  man  say:  "Jones  lost 
my  umbrella  on  me." 

A  San  Francisco  newspaper  recorded  the  fact  that  a  bogus 
British  peer  had  made  the  acquaintance  of  a  soubrette  on 
board  ship  coming  from  Honolulu.  The  reporter  stated  that 
the  young  man  had  "met  up  with"  the  young  woman.  Pre- 
sumably to  'meet'  a  person  is  one  thing;  to  'meet  with'  him 
suggests  more  than  a  chance  encounter;  and  to  'meet  up  with' 
him  may  be  tantamount  to  a  scandal  in  high  life. 

The  New  York  'Morning  Telegraph'  remarks: 

(36)  "When  we  first  joined  out  with  the  Allies". 

A  common  phrase  is  "to  join  in  with";  the  'in'  however  has 
no  meaning,  and  that  is  why,  probably,  the  scribbler  of  the 
'Morning  Telegraph'  substituted  'out',  which  also  is  redundant, 
if  not  worse.  'Out'  suggests  'asunder',  and  therefore  conflicts 
with  the  meaning  of  the  verb  'join'. 

Many  preposition-verbs  are  idiomatic,  as  I  have  said; 
they  are  part  of  our  language,  but  they  should  be  used  sparingly 


100  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

in  technology,  which  cannot  suffer  careless  colloquialisms 
without  serious  loss  of  clarity.  It  may  be  proper  to  settle  down 
in  the  country  in  order  to  settle  up  one's  debts  in  the  city. 
Some  of  these  preposition-verbs  are  not  lightly  to  be  dispensed 
with,  but  the  technical  man  should  not  melt  down  a  charge  and 
melt  up  a  slag,  nor  should  he  test  out  a  process  or  prove  up  an 
orebody.  He  ought  to  do  away  with  these  meaningless  little 
obstacles  to  clear  speech.  In  German  such  preposition-verbs 
are  compounded,  and  in  English  it  would  help  if  we  'shut- 
down' a  mill  or  'opened-up'  a  mine.  Usually  a  single  and  more 
explicit  word  is  available.  Frequently  the  preposition-verb  is 
followed  by  a  preposition,  as  illustrated  in  the  examples  already 
quoted.  Here  are  others: 

(37)  "The  richest  mine  I  met  with  in  my  travels." 

In  speaking,  the  first  preposition  ('with')  follows  the  verb 
('met')  without  a  pause,  so  that  the  second  preposition  ('in') 
is  given  its  separate  value;  in  reading,  such  a  sequence  of 
prepositions  becomes  ungainly  or  even  obscuring. 

(38)  "The  sulphides  came  in  on  the  next  level." 
"Sulphides  began  to  appear  on  the  next  level." 

He  was  referring  to  the  fact  that  the  bottom  of  the  oxidized 
zone  had  been  reached. 

(39)  "This  plan  is  being  carried  out  on  the  Violet  claim." 
"This  plan  is  being  followed  [or  "This  method  of  work  is 

being  applied"]  on  the  Violet  claim." 

(40)  "They  are  piled  on  to  the  thickness  of  six  or  eight 
inches." 

"They  are  piled  six  or  eight  inches  thick." 
The  'on'  is  redundant,  because  'piling'  means  the  heaping 
of  things  upon  one  another. 

(41)  "The  tar  by-product  was  difficult  to  dispose  of  to  the 
tar-distillers." 

"It  was  difficult  to  market  this  tar  by-product  among  the 
distillers,"  or  "to  sell  this  by-product  to  the  distillers." 

(42)  "Three  separate  tests    were  carried  on  in  this  appa- 
ratus, " 


PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITK^T-^SBS  {  ;    /  lC?i 


"  Three  separate  tests  were  made  [or  performed]  in  this 
apparatus." 

An  authority  on  the  art  of  writing  says: 

(43)  "  What  should  we  aim  at  in  learning  to  write  Eng- 
lish?" 

My  reply  to  him  is  that,  among  other  things,  we  should  aim 
to  avoid  preposition-verbs.  Each  of  the  preposition-verbs  in 
the  foregoing  five  examples  can  be  replaced  to  advantage  by  a 
more  significant  word. 

The  authority  on  writing  might  have  said: 

"  What  should  be  our  aim  [purpose,  or  object]  in  learning 
to  write  English?  " 

Here  are  further  examples,  with  suggested  corrections: 

(44)  "The  ore  is  hard  and  requires  to  be  shaken  up  with 
[shattered  by]  powder." 

(45)  "The  final  decision  was  not  arrived  at  [reached]  for 
several  hours." 

(46)  "Classification  was  exhaustively  dealt  with  [considered 
or  discussed]." 

(47)  "They  will  not  accept  credits  unless  backed  up  with 
[by]  a  proper  gold  reserve." 

(48)  "Nor  did  any  one  of  them  describe  a  practical  form 
of  apparatus  for  conducting  the  proposed  operation  in" 

He  meant  an  "apparatus  for  performing  the  proposed 
operation." 

(49)  "The  investigations  were  not  confined  to  'oils'  alone, 
as  many  substances  which  for  the  purposes  of  this  process 
acted  in  a  similar  manner  to  oils  were  experimented  with." 

"The  experiments  were  not  confined  to  'oils'  alone;  they 
were  applied  to  substances  that  acted  like  oil." 

(50)  "The  vanning-shovel  shows  the  condition  of  the  tin 
ore  which  [that]  one  has  to  deal  with" 

Substitute  'crush',  'concentrate',  'treat',  according  to  the 
meaning  intended.  "Deal  with"  says  nothing. 

(51)  "This  depends  on  whether  any  more  can  be  got  out 
[extracted]  at  a  profit." 


;  \  TECHNICAL  WRITING 


(52)  "Those  who  have  gone  in  for  [undertaken]  serious 
work." 

(53)  "Oil  can  be  made  use  of  [utilized]  to  float  mineral." 

(54)  "The  output  has  been  much  interfered  with  [hindered 
or  curtailed]  by  political  disorder." 

(55)  "In  the  end  the  copper  companies  won  out."    Delete 
"out". 

(56)  "In  this  part  of  Mexico  the  more  vitreous  rhyolites 
are  met  with." 

This  suggests  an  encounter  with  a  band  of  Yaqui  Indians  on 
the  warpath.  Substitute: 

"In  this  part  of  Mexico,  the  vitreous  type  of  rhyolite  is 
common." 

(57)  "The  feeding  of  the  machine  is  carefully  attended  to 
[regulated]." 

It  is  the  result  of  the  attention,  not  the  act  itself,  that  is  to 
be  emphasized. 

(58)  "The   sinter   cools   off   and    disintegrates."      Delete 
"off". 

But  the  worst  blunders  arise  from  the  misplacing  of  these 
wretched  little  prepositions. 

(59)  "These  are  matters  which  the  Chamber  of  Mines 
might  with  profit  devote  a  few  minutes  to." 

"These  are  matters  to  which  the  Chamber  of  Mines  might 
profitably  devote  a  few  minutes."  This  is  roundabout;  re- 
write the  sentence,  thus: 

"These  are  matters  that  the  Chamber  of  Mines  might 
consider." 

(60)  "This  is  kind  of  you;   I  cannot  find  words  to  thank 
you  in." 

This  is  another  example  of  transposition. 

"I  cannot  find  words  in  [or  'with']  which  to  thank  you." 

(61)  "Corrosive  water,  which  resulted  in  the  formation  of 
rust  on  the  steel  tubes  and  the  gradual  closing  of  the  openings, 
was  a  serious  obstacle." 

Here  we  have  a  weak  preposition-verb  ('result  in')  and  an 


PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS  103 

abstract  phrase  joining  to  obscure  the  sense.      Probably  he 
meant  to  say: 

"  Corrosive  water  was  a  serious  obstacle,  since  it  formed 
rust,  which  gradually  closed  the  steel  tubes." 

(62)  "As  an  illustration  of  how  the  activities  of  corpora- 
tions affect  our  daily  life,  I  thought  it  would  be  interesting  to 
find  out  how  many  people  were  employed  by  the  corporations 
I  would  have  to  deal  with  in  coming  from  New  York  to  Denver." 

This  was  written  by  an  experienced  writer.  He  might  have 
said: 

"To  illustrate  how  far  the  activities  of  corporations  affect 
our  daily  life,  I  thought  it  would  be  interesting  to  ascertain 
how  many  people  were  employed  by  the  [railroad]  corporations 
with  which  I  would  have  to  deal  while  coming  from  New  York 
to  Denver." 

(63)  "The  properties  which  it  now  consists  of  are  many 
old  and  new  claims." 

He  means:  "The  properties  of  which  it  now  consists  include 
many  old  and  new  claims."  However,  further  correction  is 
needed,  namely,  the  deletion  of  the  words  in  italic,  all  of  which 
are  redundant.  The  plural  of  'property'  is  not  required. 
"The  property  now  includes  both  old  and  new  claims." 

(64)  "The  ore  is  broken  along  with  the  barren  rock." 

(65)  "Over  against  this  pessimistic  report,  we  have  the 
sanguine  opinion  of  Professor  Smith." 

'Along'  and  'over'  are  needless  and  awkward. 

(66)  "  When  oil  is  shaken  up  [agitated]  with  water  or  some 
[other]  liquid  with  which  it  is  not  miscible,  an  emulsion  is 
formed."     The  oil,  owing  to  its  specific  gravity,  would  rest  on 
top  of  the  water  before  agitation,  which  would  actually  result 
in  shaking  it  down.     '  Shaken  up  '  conveys  an  incorrect  idea. 

(67)  "  The  permission  to  go  on  with  [continue]  their  business." 

(68)  "  I  submit  that  the  consistent  way  of  meeting  the  want 
is  for  such  a  reserve  to  be  provided  for  in  the  initial  capital- 
ization." 

The  prepositions  crowd  each  other.     He  means  to  say: 


104  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"I  submit  that  the  proper  method  is  to  provide  for  such  a 
reserve  when  arranging  the  original  capitalization." 

(69)  "This  matter  has  been  [was]  dealt  with  [discussed]  in 
my  last  chapter." 

(70)  "Many  miles  of  the  railway  were  constructed  and 
connected  up  with  the  old  line  out  of  Mersina  and  Alexandretta." 
Delete  'up7. 

(71)  "Writing  on  a  subject  one  is  interested  in  is  a  fasci- 
nating entertainment  which  I  have  often  indulged  in." 

The  entertainment  must  have  been  all  his,  not  his  reader's, 
if  he  misplaced  his  prepositions  in  this  way.  He  should  have 
written: 

"Writing  on  a  subject  that  interests  one  is  a  fascinating 
entertainment,  in  which  I  have  often  indulged." 

Preposition-verbs  are  idiomatic;  for  that  very  reason  they 
lend  themselves  to  misunderstanding: 

(72)  "How  did  you  come  to  fall  into  the  pond?"   said  the 
farmer  to  the  dripping  lad,  still  clutching  his  fishing-rod.     "I 
didn't;  I  came  to  fish",  he  sobbingly  replied. 

(73)  A  soldier  running  to  the  rear  is  asked :    "What  are  you 
running  for?"    He  retorts:    "You  should  say,  'What  are  you 
running  from1?11 

A  typical  example  is: 

(74)  "The  richest  mine  I  met  with  in  my  travels."    Apart 
from  the  awkwardness  of  coupling  two  prepositions  that  are 
not  related  to  each  other,  this  quotation  exemplifies  the  use 
of  a  preposition-verb  that  itself  has  no  significance  and  serves 
only  to  set  aside  the  verb  that  tells  the  meaning,  namely, 
whether  the  writer  'visited',  'inspected',  or  'saw'  the  mine,  or 
whether  he  merely  heard  about  it  from  others  in  the  course  of 
his  travels.    '  Met  with'  is  one  of  those  old  colloquial  idiomatic 
phrases  that  say  nothing.     Similar  criticism  applies  to  many 
other  preposition- verbs ;    they  are  wholly  unsuited  for  use  in 
technical  writing,  which  aims  to  convey  crystallized  ideas  and 
precise  information. 

The  preposition  has  many  uses,  and  they  are  made  more 


PREPOSITIONS  AND  PREPOSITION-VERBS  105 

significant  by  avoiding  misuse.  Here  are  some  examples  of 
good  usage. 

(75)  "The  oil  and  water  (as  an  emulsion)  is  fed  in  at  the 
centre  and  thrown  out  at  the  circumference." 

Here  "in"  and  "out"  are  antithetic.  The  singular  verb  is 
correct  because  the  "oil"  and  the  "water"  are  considered  as  a 
unit. 

(76)  "The  flask  containing  the  extract  was  placed  on  a 
water-bath;    after  most  of  the  ether  had  been  distilled  off, 
the  residue  was  transferred  to  a  small  separating-funnel  of 
known  weight."    Here  the  "off"  is  emphatic. 

The  preposition-verb  is  idiomatic;  so  also  sometimes  is  the 
placing  of  the  preposition  at  the  end  of  the  sentence;  our 
language  derives  these  idioms  from  the  Anglo-Saxon,  or  Low 
German,  part  of  its  origin.  In  German  one  says: 

(77)  "MachenSiedieThurezw." 

Old-fashioned  provincial  people  in  the  West  of  England  still 
say:  "Shut  the  door  to." 

(78)  A  Cornish  miner  will  say:    "Where  be  going  to? " 
The  gain  of  emphasis  by  placing  a  preposition  at  the  end  of 

a  statement  survives,  usefully,  in  such  a  phrase  as:  "Just 
now  Russia  is  a  good  country  to  come  from."  This  was  writ- 
ten by  an  engineer  who  had  arrived  in  San  Francisco  from  a 
copper  mine  in  Siberia;  the  statement  is  not  only  idiomatic 
but  highly  expressive,  for  the  three  significant  words  are  'now', 
' Russia',  and  'from';  of  these  the  last  is  the  most  significant; 
it  gains  significance  by  being  last. 

In  such  sentences  the  preposition  has  an  adverbial  value; 
as  also  in 

(79)  "He  has  gone  otd." 

(80)  "He  told  him  to  sit  up." 

In  the  first  lecture  I  quoted  Huxley.  You  will  remember 
what  he  said  of  a  writer  who  used  big  words  needlessly:  "He 
will  be  afraid  to  wander  beyond  the  limits  of  the  technical 
phraseology  which  he  has  got  up."  Here  "up"  is  adverbial. 
It  ends  the  sentence  unpleasantly.  "Got  up"  could  be  replaced 


106  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

advantageously  by  'prepared',  or  'concocted ',  or  'learned'. 
It  would  be  an  improvement  to  substitute  'that'  for  'which', 
so  that  the  last  clause  would  read  "that  he  has  learned". 

An  authority*  says:  "The  common  belief  that  a  sentence 
ending  with  a  preposition  is  on  that  account  incorrect  is  a  mis- 
take; such  sentences  abound  in  good  literature."  True,  but 
defective  sentences  also  abound  in  good  literature,  and  great 
writers  occasionally  make  errors  in  composition.  The  homely 
usage  illustrated  by  "shut  the  door  to"  may  have  idiomatic 
excuse,  but  I  submit  to  you  that  such  phrases  are  inappro- 
priate to  careful  speech  and  quite  inappropriate  to  precise 
writing.  I  can  assure  you,  as  an  editor,  that  the  habit  of 
employing  preposition-verbs,  and  the  consequent  liability  to 
misplace  the  preposition,  will  hinder  you  in  the  acquisition  of 
such  a  style  as  is  best  adapted  to  the  discussion  of  technical 
subjects. 

I  have  said  enough  concerning  the  use  of  prepositions; 
I  trust  that  you  will  pay  attention  to  this  detail;  if  you  do,  you 
will,  I  feel  sure,  learn  to  write  more  clearly.  In  my  own  writ- 
ing I  have  found  attention  to  this  matter  a  great  help,  and  that 
is  why  I  have  discussed  the  subject  at  some  length.  Above  all, 
remember  what  the  old  lady  said:  "A  preposition  is  a  poor 
thing  to  end  up  a  sentence  with." 

*  E.  C.  Woolley,  ia  his  'Handbook  of  Composition',  page  37. 


IX.  HYPHENS  AND  COMPOUND  WORDS. 

A  severely  technical  article,  however  well  written,  cannot 
be  an  agreeable  form  of  literature.  It  suffers  from  the  defects 
of  its  qualities.  One  defect  is  a  congestion  of  language,  due 
to  a  multiplicity  of  adjectival  nouns.  The  sentences  are  packed 
with  words  of  unpleasing  sound,  charged  with  complex  ideas, 
crowding  one  another  so  closely  that  the  phraseology  moves 
like  an  ice-pack  in  Bering  Sea  or  a  log-drive  in  a  river;  the 
undercurrent  of  meaning  may  move  confidently,  but  the  sur- 
face is  obstructed. 

To  regulate  the  flow  of  language,  so  as  to  indicate  the  rela- 
tion of  adjoining  words,  it  becomes  necessary  to  use  hyphens. 
Hyphens  are  unlovely  assistants,  regrettable  necessities,  but 
without  them  the  writer  of  technology  must  fail  to  convey  his 
thought,  or  must  seek  a  mode  of  expression  so  roundabout  as 
to  exhaust  the  reasonable  limits  of  time  and  paper.  For  example : 

(1)  "High  speed  tool  steel  is  much  in  demand  by  manu- 
facturers of  munitions." 

The  sense  of  the  first  four  words,  one  an  adjective  and  the 
others  nouns,  is  not  obvious  to  the  uninitiated;  the  meaning  is 
that  there  is  a  demand  for  a  steel  suitable  for  making  tools  that 
serve  as  cutting  instruments  when  run  at  high  speed  (in  such 
machines  as  lathes,  planes,  and  drill-presses).  This  is  said,  and 
said  clearly,  by  inserting  two  hyphens  thus : 

"High-speed  tool-steel  is  in  much  demand  by  manufac- 
turers of  munitions." 

The  use  of  hyphens  is  not  generally  understood  by  engineers; 
either  they  do  not  employ  them  sufficiently  to  make  themselves 
clear,  or  they  sprinkle  them  like  the  sand  that  an  earlier  gene- 
ration used,  for  drying  the  ink,  before  blotting-paper  had  been 
invented. 

107 


108 


TECHNICAL  WRITING 


Consider  the  difference  between 


cooling  floor 
sinking  pump 
level  floor 
iron  furnace 
paper  mill 
zinc  box 
sample  bottle 
tin  plate 
bent  rod 
melting  point 
burning  oil 


and 


cooling-floor 

sinking-pump 

level-floor 

iron-furnace 

paper-mill 

zinc-box 

sample-bottle 

tin-plate 

bent-rod 

melting-point 

burning-oil 


A  'cooling  floor'  is  one  that  is  growing  cold;  a  i cooling- 
floor'  is  one  on  which  hot  ore  is  cooled;  it  is  a  floor  for  cooling. 
A  'sinking  pump'  is  a  pump  that  is  sinking  or  subsiding;  a 
'sinking-pump'  is  a  pump  to  be  used  in  sinking  a  shaft;  it  is  a 
pump  for  sinking.  A '  level  floor'  is  one  with  a  uniformly  horizon- 
tal surface;  a  'level-floor'  is  the  floor  of  a  level  in  a  mine.  A 
'paper  mill'  is  one  made  of  paper;  a  'paper-mill'  is  one  that 
makes  paper.  An  'iron  furnace'  is  a  furnace  made  of  iron; 
an  'iron-furnace'  is  one  used  for  smelting  iron  ore.  A  'zinc 
box'  is  made  of  zinc;  a  'zinc-box'  contains  zinc,  as,  for  example, 
the  box  in  which  zinc  is  placed  to  precipitate  gold  from  cyanide 
solutions.  A  'sample  bottle'  is  a  sample  of  bottles;  a  'sample- 
bottle'  is  a  bottle  to  hold  a  sample.  A  'tin  plate'  is  a  plate  of 
tin;  'tin-plate'  is  iron  that  is  plated  or  covered  with  tin.  A 
'bent  rod'  is  a  rod  that  is  bent,  but  a  'bent-rod'  is  a  detail  of 
a  conventional  engineering  structure.  A  'melting  point'  is  a 
point  that  is  melting;  a  'melting-point'  is  the  point  at  which 
melting  begins.  A  'burning  oil'  is  oil  that  is  burning;  a 
'burning-oil'  is  an  oil  suitable  for  burning.  The  'solid  surface' 
is  the  surface  of  a  body  that  is  not  solid  underneath,  whereas 
the  'solid-surface'  is  the  surface  of  a  solid,  and  it  is  as  well  to 
say  so,  by  aid  of  the  hyphen,  instead  of  indulging  in  round- 
about explanations. 


HYPHENS  AND  COMPOUND  WORDS  109 

A  'single  stamp-mill'  is  a  lonesome  mill. 

A  'single-stamp  milP  is  a  mill  consisting  of  batteries  of  one 
stamp  each,  like  the  Nissen,  instead  of  the  usual  five  stamps 
per  battery. 

A  'single-stamp-mill'  is  a  mill  containing  only  one  stamp, 
after  the  Lake  Superior  fashion,  where  one  big  steam-stamp 
does  the  work  of  150  ordinary  gravity-stamps. 

A  'crude  ore-bin'  is  an  ore-bin  of  crude  construction. 

A  'crude-ore  bin'  is  a  bin  made  to  contain  crude  ore,  that 
is,  ore  as  it  comes  from  the  mine,  before  it  has  been  crushed, 
concentrated,  or  subjected  to  other  preliminary  treatment. 

A  'crude  ore  bin'  is  an  example  of  crude  writing. 

Hyphens  are  not  agreeable  things,  as  I  have  said,  but  they 
are  a  great  help  in  technical  writing.  For  instance! 

(2)  "The  crushed  section  of  No.  2  shaft  had  to  be  entirely 
recovered  and  retimbered." 

What  does  he  mean?  The  shaft  has  been  timbered  again 
or  're-timbered',  that  is  clear;  but  has  the  shaft  collapsed  and 
has  it  been  'recovered',  that  is,  restored,  or  has  only  the  cov- 
ering of  the  shaft  been  shattered,  so  that  the  shaft  has  had  to 
be  're-covered'?  If  he  had  used  the  hyphen  in  'retimbered', 
it  would  have  made  clear  his  whole  statement  by  giving  sig- 
nificance to  the  omission  of  the  hyphen  in  'recovered',  but  as 
he  omitted  the  hyphen  in  the  one  place,  where  it  was  wanted, 
he  may  have  omitted  it  in  the  other  also,  so  that  one  can  not 
determine  whether  the  shaft  has  been  'recovered'  or  're-covered'. 
The  difference  is  important,  a,s  measured  in  money  and  time. 

The  following  are  wrong: 

(3)  Ah-  transmission-pipe. 

(4)  Dry  vacuum-pump. 

(5)  Tungsten  filament-lamp. 

(6)  The  standard  Merrill  screw  zinc-dust  feeder. 

(7)  Stock  solution-tank. 

(8)  Compressed  air-motors. 

(3)  It  is  a  pipe  for  transmitting  air,  not  an  airy  pipe  of 
transmission;  therefore  the  hyphen  should  be  transferred  thus: 


110  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

Air-transmission  pipe. 

(4)  The  emphasis  is  on  the  dry  vacuum,  not  on  the  dryness 
of  the  pump.    It  should  be 

Dry-vacuum  pump. 

(5)  The  filament  is  made  of  tungsten,  not  the  lamp.    Hence 
Tungsten-filament  lamp. 

(6)  The  word  'screw'  modifies  'feeder';  he  meant 
The  standard  Merrill  zinc-dust  screw-feeder. 

(7)  The  solution  was  kept  in  stock,  not  the  tank;  he  meant 
the  tank  in  which  the  stock  solution  was  kept,  thus: 

Stock-solution  tank. 

(8)  The  air  is  compressed,  not  the  motor.    It  should  be 
Compressed-air  motor. 

Out  of  a  single  article  I  take  the  following  examples  of 
compound  words.  I  shall  give  them  to  you  first  without  the 
hyphens  and  you  will  note  what  a  jumble  of  meanings  they 
suggest.  Then  I  shall  insert  the  necessary  hyphens  and  you 
will  see  how  the  thought  emerges : 

(9)  Crushing  plant  conveyor  belt. 
Crushing-plant  belt-conveyor. 

The  traveling  belt  that  conveys  the  ore  to  the  plant  where 
it  is  crushed. 

(10)  Electric  bell  overhead  alarms. 
Electric-bell  overhead-alarms. 

Alarms  were  placed  overhead,  and  these  alarms  consisted 
of  bells  operated  electrically. 

(11)  Ball  check  air  inlet  valves. 
Ball-check  air-inlet  valves. 

They  are  valves  that  check  the  admission  of  air  by  means  of 
balls  acting  automatically. 

(12)  A  screw  conveyor  chain  driven  from  the  classifier  shaft. 

A  screw-conveyor  chain-driven  from  the  classifier-shaft. 

This  is  a  screw  the  turning  of  which  moves  the  pulp,  con- 
veying it  to  another  part  of  the  mill.  The  screw  is  turned  by 
means  of  a  chain  that  is  driven  from  the  shaft  that  also  drives 
the  classifying  machine. 


HYPHENS  AND  COMPOUND  WORDS  111 

(13)  "The  motor  is  connected  to  the  tube  mill  gear  shaft 
by  silent  chain  drives  and  Hill  clutches." 

"The  motor  is  connected  to  the  tube-mill  gear-shaft  by 
silent-chain  drives  and  Hill  clutches." 

This  motor  furnishes  the  power  that  causes  the  tube-mill 
to  revolve,  such  power  being  transmitted  to  the  cogs  on  the 
perimeter  of  the  tube  by  means  of  a  noiseless  chain,  the  sprocket- 
wheel  of  which  is  engaged  and  disengaged  by  a  Hill  clutch. 

Other  examples  follow: 

(14)  "The  blast  furnace  gas  will  be  delivered  to  a  bag 
house  through  600  ft.  of  brick  dust  chamber." 

Note  how  a  few  hyphens,  properly  placed,  clarify  the 
sentence : 

"The  blast-furnace  gas  will  be  delivered  to  a  bag-house 
through  600  ft.  of  brick  dust-chamber." 

The  chamber  is  not  made  of  brick-dust. 

(15)  "These  cannel  coal  tar  oils  are  high  in  paraffine." 

No  clear  idea  emerges  until  a  couple  of  hyphens  are  placed 
in  their  right  places: 

"The  cannel-coal  tar-oils  are  high  in  paraffine." 

(16)  "From  this  base  line  right  angled  lines  were  extended 
in  the  direction  of  the  dip  of  the  vein." 

The  sentence  should  be  written:  "From  this  base-line 
right-angled  lines  were  extended  on  the  dip  of  the  vein." 

(17*)  "The  best  compound  condensing  poppet  valve  steam 
engine  will  produce  an  indicated  horse-power  hour  on  12  pounds 
of  steam." 

When  I  read  the  last  example  I  was  reminded  of  the  lady 
in  Kansas  after  the  tornado  had  passed.  It  is  related  that 
"  she  looked  up  from  her  washing  and  found  the  air  thick  with 
her  intimate  friends."  The  broken  limbs  of  this  sentence  must 
be  joined  with  grammatical  splints,  these  useful  hyphens  of 
which  we  are  speaking,  thus: 

"  The  best  compound-condensing  poppet-valve  steam-engine 
will  produce  one  indicated  horse-power  per  hour  on  12  pounds 
of  steam." 


112  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(18)  "As  to  the  dressing  of  the  amalgamated  plates,  he 
concluded  that  12  hour  intervals  were  the 'best." 

Was  it  12  intervals  of  one  hour  or  was  it  intervals  of  12  hours 
each?  He  meant  12-hour  intervals. 

(19)  Similarly:     "A  train  of  ten  ton  cars"  leaves  it  ques- 
tionable whether  it  be  "a  train  of  ten  1-ton  cars"  or  "a  train  of 
10-ton  cars." 

(20)  "Each  of  the  two  hundred  foot  sections."    Is  it  "each 
of  the  200-ft.  sections"  or  "each  of  the  two  100-ft.  sections"? 

Compound  adjectives  preceding  the  noun  that  they  qualify 
require  hyphens,  as  "first-class  ore",  "3-inch  pipe",  "five-mile 
haul".  This  applies  to  compounds  with  'well'  and  'ill',  like  a 
"well-established  industry"  or  "an  ill-advised  action",  but 
hyphens  are  not  desirable  after  longer  adverbs  modifying  adjec- 
tives, as  in  "hastily  written  report"  or  "nearly  completed 
work". 

Hyphens  are  of  great  service  in  technology,  however  ugly 
they  may  seem  to  the  litterateur,  to  the  writer  of  polite  prose. 
No  engineer  can  afford  to  ignore  them  if  he  desire  to  write 
clearly. 

(21)  "The  average  shoe-and-die  consumption  in  a  stamp- 
battery". 

The  wear  of  shoes  and  dies  concurrently  is  the  subject. 

(22)  "An  early  design  of  central-discharge  ball-tube  mill". 
The  two  hyphenated  words  modify  "mill".     This  would 

not  be  expressed  by  "central  discharge  ball  tube-mill".  It  is 
a  mill  of  tubular  shape  in  which  steel  balls  are  used  to  expedite 
grinding,  the  pulp  being  discharged  through  a  central  opening. 
'Ball'  and  'tube'  modify  'mill'  equally. 

(23)  "His   theory   is   what   one   might   term   a  resolution 
theory."    As  if  he  were  a  man  of  high  resolve.    It  should  be 
're-solution',  referring  to  the  secondary  dissolving  of  the  gold. 

Note  similarly  the  difference  between  'retreat'  and  're-treat' : 

(24)  "Mining  was  started  at  the  edge  of  the  ore  on  the  top 
sub-level  and  carried  downward  level  by  level:   this  retreating 
method  was  desirable  for  two  reasons." 


HYPHENS  AND   COMPOUND  WORDS  113 

He  says  what  he  means,  the  hyphen  is  not  needed;  but  it 
is  necessary  in  the  toll  owing  statement: 

(25)  "The  method  of  re-treating  the  tailing  was  intro- 
duced by  a  clever  metallurgist  named  Smith." 

Note  how  much  clearer  the  meaning  is  conveyed  by  'half- 
way' than  by  '  half  way'. 

Now  you  have  seen  how  important  a  function  is  served  by 
the  hyphen.  No  cast-iron  rule  can  be  formulated  to  guide  you 
in  this  matter,  but  I  may  say  to  you  that  a  varying  degree  of 
intimacy  exists  between  words.  Three  degrees  of  intimacy  are 
to  be  noted: 

A.  Mere  juxtaposition,  or  neighborliness,  of  separate  words, 
indicating  a  loose  connection. 

B.  Hyphenation,    implying    intimacy    without    an    entire 
loss  of  individuality. 

C.  Compounds,  expressing  a  singleness  of  meaning. 
Roughly  the  three  states  in  which  two  adjacent  words  may 

exist  can  be  represented  by  single  blessedness,  betrothal, 
marriage.  The  hyphenated  condition,  like  an  engagement, 
may  be  broken,  and  a  word  may  form  a  new  combination  with 
another  word  for  which  it  has  affinity.  After  a  time,  two  words 
may  have  been  hyphenated  so  long  that  they  acquire  a  single- 
ness of  meaning,  they  are  married,  and  are  treated  as  a  unit. 
For  example,  'today',  'tonight',  and  'tomorrow'  require  no 
hyphens.  The  retention  of  them  is  due  to  unthinking  con- 
servatism. The  'to'  in  'today'  has  no  significance  apart  from 
'day'.  The  word  expresses  a  single  idea  and  the  hyphen  is 
a  meaningless  survival.  It  has  been  estimated  that  150,000,000 
persons  write  these  three  words,  'to-day',  'to-night',  and  'to- 
morrow', three  times  daily,  on  average,  and  that  the  omission 
of  the  hyphen  would  save  an  amount  of  energy  in  the  aggregate 
equal  to  that  required  to  propel  an  ordinary  passenger-train 
round  the  world.  Let  us  save  the  energy  thus  squandered  and 
use  it  in  placing  our  hyphens  where  they  are  needed. 

In  hyphenated  terms  like  'cooling-tower'  and  'precipitating- 
tank'  the  first  member  of  the  couple  is  a  gerund;  it  is  a  verbal 


114  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

noun  identical  in  form  with  the  present  participle;  but  the 
participle  is  an  adjective,  and  the  gerund  is  a  noun  that  has 
the  power  to  govern  another  noun.  In  these  and  similar  com- 
mon hyphenated  terms  (for  example,  'amalgamating-tables', 
'condensing-chamber',  'leaching-vat')  the  preposition  '  for'  must 
be  understood;  we  mean  'a  tower  for  cooling  gases',  'a  tank 
for  precipitating  solutions',  and  so  forth.  If  the  phrase  have 
this  meaning,  the  hyphen  should  be  inserted;  if  not,  it  should 
be  omitted.  A  'precipitating  solution'  is  one  that  is  in  the  act 
of  precipitating;  if  the  reference  is  to  a  solution  for  precipitating 
something  else,  the  hyphen  would  indicate  this  meaning,  thus, 
a  'precipitating-solution'.  A  'fro thing-agent'  is  an  agent  for 
making  froth,  not  one  that  froths. 

In  technical  writing  it  is  necessary  to  compound  words  in 
order  to  condense  the  phrasing,  and  the  hyphen  is  a  means  of 
doing  so,  but  the  careful  writer  will  avoid  throwing  words 
together  in  a  telegraphic  style  that  leaves  the  sense  obscure. 
Aristotle  said  that  the  use  of  compound  words,  "such  as 
Lycophron's  'many-visaged  heaven',  'vast-crested  earth',  and 
'narrow-passaged  strand'  "  was  in  bad  taste.  He  remarked 
also  that  they  were  "eminently  serviceable  to  dithyrambic 
poets,  whose  style  is  noisy".  The  moral  is 'to  avoid  careless 
compounding  and  to  indicate  careful  compounding  by  hyphen- 
ation. 

(26)  "Too  much  air  increases  the  fuel  consumption  [con- 
sumption of  fuel]." 

(27)  "The  Bureau  of  Mines  made  a  study  of  fume  losses 
[losses  in  fume]." 

(28)  "This   is  done   to   prevent  edge  wear  [wear  at  the 
edges]." 

(29)  "The  rubber  belt  manufacturers  [of  rubber  belts]  have 
shown  great  interest  in  this  subject." 

(30)  "Except  where  a  gulch  marks   a  stream-course  [the 
course  of  a  stream]." 

(31)  "The  assay  is  given  a  borax  glass  cover." 

A  hyphen  between  borax  and  glass  would  help  to  clarify 


HYPHENS  AND  COMPOUND  WORDS  115 

the  description,  but  it  is  better  to  avoid  the  adjectival  use  of 
'  borax-glass'  by  saying  "a  cover  of  borax-glass". 

(32)  "  The  appraisal  system  is  technically  an  admirable  one." 
"The  system  of  appraisal  is  admirable  technically." 

(33)  "A  water  spray  cooled  the  air." 

It  was  the  water,  not  the  spray,  that  cooled  the  air;  there- 
fore it  is  better  to  say: 

"A  spray  of  water  cooled  the  air." 

(34)  "The  air  and  power  consumption  was  not  determined." 
"  The  consumption  of  air  and  of  power  were  not  determined." 

(35)  "A  typical  copper  flotation  tailing  screen  and  copper 
analysis  follows  which  illustrates  this  point." 

What  a  jumble!    He  means: 

"A  screen  analysis,  with  assays,  of  the  flotation  tailing  from 
a  typical  copper  ore  will  illustrate  this  point." 

In  each  of  the  foregoing  quotations  it  is  possible  to  use  a 
hyphen  to  mark  the  relation  of  the  compounds,  but  it  is  not 
desirable,  the  meaning  being  made  clearer  by  straightforward 
writing  involving  the  use  of  a  preposition  to  indicate  the  rela- 
tion between  the  words. 

(36)  "Heavy  metal  salts". 

He  means  'heavy-metal  salts',  but  it  is  better  to  write 
"salts  of  the  heavy  metals". 

(37)  "Chlorite  is  present  as  a  persistent  alteration  product 
from  biotite." 

Is  it  a  product  of  persistent  alteration  or  a  persistent  prod- 
uct of  alteration? 

(38)  "The  machine  that  weighs  the  mixed  ore  and  con- 
centrates charge." 

Here  the  four  words  before  'charge'  constitute  an  adjectival 
clause;  the  meaning  is  held  in  suspense  too  long,  and  the 
effect  is  confusing.  He  means: 

"The  machine  that  weighs  the  charge  of  ore  and  con- 
centrate." The  charge  is  obviously  a  mixture. 

(39)  "Allow  a  full  air  draught  [draught  of  air]  to  pass 
through." 


116  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(40)  " Specially  designed  cars". 
"Cars  of  special  design". 

The  adjectival  use  of  nouns  and  the  consequent  coupling  of 
nouns  is  carried  to  an  excess  that  is  disagreeable.  Often  it 
clouds  the  expression  or  entails  unnecessary  hyphenation. 

(41)  "Mine  sampling  is  never  an  easy  task." 
"The  sampling  of  mines  is  never  an  easy  task." 

(42)  "The  vein  course  was  indicated  by  a  mere  seam." 
"The  course  of  the  vein  was  indicated  by  a  mere  seam." 
Hyphens  are  required  between  the  two  words  italicized  in 

each  of  the  two  sentences  last  quoted.     They  can  be  avoided 
by  the  alternative  phrasing. 

(43)  "The  air  volume  [volume  of  air]  is  calculated  from  its 
velocity  in  a  drift." 

(44)  "This  greatly  reduced  the  gas  consumption  [consump- 
tion of  gas]." 

(45)  "There  are  no  cost  figures  [figures  of  cost]  as  yet." 

(46)  "A  battery  charging  and  changing  station." 
"A  station  for  charging  and  changing  batteries." 

(47)  "An  additional   10%   of  the  sulphur  is  allowed  as 
furnace  oxidation  loss  [for  loss  by  oxidation  in  the  furnace]." 

(48)  "This  is  true  of  powdered  coal  fired  reverberatories." 
"This  applies  to  reverberatories  (or  reverberatory  furnaces) 

fired  with  powdered  coal." 

In  this  last  example,  as  quoted,  the  three  words  preceding 
'reverberatories'  constitute  an  adjectival  clause.  Such  tumbling 
of  words  together  has  become  an  ugly  characteristic  of  tech- 
nical writing;  it  avoids  hyphenation,  it  is  true,  but  only  at  the 
cost  of  a  worse  construction,  if  anything  so  unsystematic 
and  inarticulate  can  be  thus  dignified.  More  than  any  other 
defect,  this  habit  renders  technical  writing  not  only  non- 
literary  but  uncouth.  So,  take  pains  to  avoid  it,  either  by 
using  the  necessary  prepositions  or  by  an  intelligent  use  of 
hyphens. 

The  'fifty-first*  means  the  one  coming  after  fifty,  but  the 
'fifty  first'  are  the  fifty  that  come  first,  the  first  fifty. 


HYPHENS  AND  COMPOUND  WORDS  117 

(49)  "Light  house-keeping  is  not  good  for  light-house 
keepers." 

Finally,  consider  the  difference,  the  pathetic  difference, 
between  're-covering'  an  old  umbrella  that  is  out  of  repair, 
and  'recovering'  a  new  umbrella,  perhaps  a  Christmas  gift, 
that  you  had  lost. 


X.    SLOVENLINESS. 

Slovenliness  is  as  disgraceful  in  words  as  in  clothes. 
Much  writing  that  we  recognize  as  poor  in  style  is  merely 
sloppy.  Just  as  some  students  postpone  the  necessary  shave 
or  forget  to  change  their  collars,  so  young  engineers  drop  their 
articles,  definite  and  indefinite,  or  omit  prepositions  where  they 
are  required,  as  if  to  compensate  for  those  they  use  unneces- 
sarily. 

(1)  "  [During]  the  preceding  summer  I  went  to  Nevada." 

(2)  "The  work  will  begin  [on]  Saturday." 

(3)  "Influenza  seriously  affected  many  mines  [during]  the 
last  three  months." 

(4)  "Flotation  in  America  [during]  the  last  two  years  has 
made  tremendous  strides." 

The  sign  of  the  infinitive  should  not  be  omitted;  this  is  a 
common  blunder. 

(5)  "All  such  work  helps  [to]  solve  the  problem  of  efficiency." 
The  verb  be  is  used  both  as  a  principal  and  as  an  auxiliary. 

(6)  "At  first  the  work  was  interesting  and  [was]  liked  by 
most  of  the  men." 

(7)  "The  drop  of  crusher  lubricating  oil  could  not  get  into 
the  bin  and  mix  with  the  ore." 

The  adjectival  use  of  nouns  leads  to  a  jumble;  he  means 
"The  lubricating  oil  on  the  crusher  could  not  drip  into  the 
bin  and  mix  with  the  ore." 

(8)  "Construction  of  the  mill  started  [on]  August  12,  1915, 
at  which  time  75%  [three-fourths]  of  the  excavation  was  com- 
pleted." 

Abridgements  that  leave  the  reader  to  guess  the  writer's 
meaning  are  bad.  Theodore  Roosevelt  wrote: 

(9)  "While  camped  on  the  Nzoi,   the  honey-birds  were 
almost  a  nuisance." 

118 


SLOVENLINESS  119 

Roosevelt  and  his  party,  not  the  honey-birds,  were  camped 
on  the  Nzoi.    Such  elliptical  phraseology  is  slovenly. 
Do  not  omit  the  connecting  pronoun. 

(10)  "  Their  vein  is  not  as  wide,  nor  the  ore  as  rich,  as  the 
Combination." 

"The  vein  in  their  mine  is  not  as  wide,  nor  the  ore  as  rich, 
as  that  in  the  Combination." 

(11)  "  Many  mining  booms  such  as  [those  of]  1906  and  1916." 

(12)  "A  rate  of  drilling  much  superior  to  [that  of]  the  old 
piston-drill." 

A  finite  verb  must  agree  with  its  subject,  says  the  rule. 

(13)  "One  of  the  most  brilliant  contributions  to  geology 
that  has  [have]  been  made." 

The  correct  form  sounds  awkward;  the  attractive  form  is 
wrong;  avoid  both.  The  clause  "that  has  been  made"  is 
redundant. 

(14)  "Anyone  can  measure  with  a  glance,  when  they  are 
tired." 

Ruskin,  who  wrote  this,  meant  'when  he  is  tired'  or  'when 
tired'. 

Participles  are  commonly  misused  by  novices.  The  dangling 
of  a  participle  at  the  beginning  of  a  sentence  contravenes  the 
rule  of  grammar  that  the  substantive  to  which  a  participle 
relates  must  appear  in  the  same  sentence.  For  example : 

(15)  "Approaching  the  vein,  the  serpentine  is  seen  to  be 
decayed." 

"As  we  approached  the  vein,  we  observed  that  the  serpen- 
tine was  decayed." 

(16)  "Examined  carefully  no  fossils  were  detected." 
"Although  I  examined  the  rocks  carefully,  I  could  detect 

no  fossils"  or  "Although  the  rocks  were  examined  carefully, 
no  fossils  were  detected". 

(17)  "Turning  westward  there  is  a  striking  change." 
"Turning  westward  the  observer  beholds  a  striking  change." 

(18)  "In  going  seaward  the  boulders  become  smaller." 
"Toward  the  sea  the  boulders  are  smaller." 


120  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

Even  practised  writers  are  frequently  guilty  of  the  error  of 
using  participial  phrases  having  no  logical  relation  to  the  clauses 
preceding.  Thus : 

(19)  "The  sandstones  are  massive,  occurring  chiefly  in  the 
lower  half  of  the  formation." 

"The  sandstones,  which  are  massive,  are  chiefly  in  the  lower 
half  of  the  formation." 

(20)  "The  output  of  the  mine  is  about  100  tons  daily,  its 
assay-value  being  $50." 

"The  daily  output  of  the  mine  consists  of  100  tons  of  ore, 
averaging  $50  per  ton." 

Another  misuse  is  illustrated  in  the  sentence: 

(21)  "The  vein  has  a  general  width  of  1  to  6  inches,  widening 
[but]  in  places  [it  widens]  to  12  inches." 

Here  the  participle  is  used  as  an  adversative,  or  contra- 
dicting, term. 

(22)  "The  limestone  occurs  resting  [rests]  upon  the  quartz- 
ite." 

(23)  "These  dikes  were  found  cutting  [cut]  the  granite." 

(24)  "The  cliff  rises  facing  [faces]  the  river." 

The  choice  of  the  wrong  subject-nominative  leads  to  wordi- 
ness: 

(25)  "The  drainage  of  the  area  is  accomplished  [drained] 
by  three  streams." 

(26)  "  The  collection  of  the  statistics  is  done  [are  collected] 
by  correspondence." 

Delete  the  first  three  words  in  each  of  the  two  foregoing 
sentences. 

(27)  "Confirmation   of  these   reports   cannot   be   obtained 
[confirmed]." 

As  says  George  M.  Wood,*  from  whom  the  three  pre- 
ceding examples  are  borrowed : 

"The  writers  of  these  sentences,  having  'used  up  their 
verbs'  in  their  subject-nominative,  could  find  no  suitable 

*  'Suggestions  to  Authors'  by  George  McLane  Wood.  U.  S.  Geological 
Survey.  An  extremely  useful  pamphlet. 


SLOVENLINESS  121 

predicate-verbs  and  were  compelled  to  employ  instead  more 
auxiliaries  or  inappropriate  words. " 

The  use  of  'due'  at  the  beginning  of  a  sentence  in  the  sense 
of  'attributable'  is  a  common  error,  for  the  reason  that  a  causal 
phrase,  which  is  adverbial,  should  not  be  introduced  by  an 
adjective. 

(28)  "Due  [owing]  to  the  psychological  attitude  of  labor 
[Labor]  and  the  scarcity  of  skilled  operatives,  it  is  far  more 
difficult  than  ever  before  to  secure  high  efficiency."     Delete 
"psychological",  which  is  redundant. 

(29)  "Such   problems   are   nearer   solution,    due    [thanks] 
to  the  researches  of  Bragg  and  others." 

(30)  "This  is  explained  by  the  fact  that  this  substance, 
due  to  [in  consequence  of]  the  predominating  effect  of  the 
calcium,  coagulates  the  slime." 

(31)  "Due  to  the  nature  of  the  ore,  it  is  expected  to  obtain 
a  smelting  ratio  of  seven  of  ore  to  one  of  coal." 

Here  'due  to'  stands  for  'in  consequence  of  or  'owing  to'. 
Again : 

(32)  "Due  to  the  rise  in  copper,  many  mines  are  being 
re-opened  in  this  district." 

Those  who  fall  into  this  bad  habit  are  also  likely  to  begin 
their  statements  thus: 

(33)  "Indicative  of  the  success  of  the  method  is  the  cost 
which  is  now  60  cents  per  ton." 

This  can  be  improved : 

"The  success  of  the  method  is  indicated  by  the  low  cost, 
which  is  now  only  60  cents  per  ton." 

'Tend'  is  a  word  that  prolongs  a  sentence  without  adding 
to  the  sense.  Many  writers  enfeeble  a  verb  by  inserting  the 
superfluous  'tend'. 

(34)  "The  use  of  flotation  tends  to  aid  [aids]  the  saving  of 
copper  in  chalcocite  ores." 

(35)  "  Such  methods  tend  to  cheapen  [cheapen]  the  operation." 
Unemphatic  words  at  the  beginning  of  a  sentence  usually 

precede  roundabout  statements: 


122  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(36)  "Because  the  surface  tends  to  contract  with  a  definite 
force  does  not  mean  that  it  is  coated  with  anything  like  a  rubber 
membrane." 

It  would  be  better  to  write: 

"The  fact  that  the  surface  contracts  with  a  definite  force 
does  not  prove  that  it  is  coated  with  anything  like  a  rubber 
membrane"  or  "The  contraction  of  the  surface  does  not  mean 
that  it  is  coated,  etc." 

Here  is  another  example  of  a  poor  beginning : 

(37)  "By  such  a  system  I  believe  we  could  establish  a 
foreign  trade  based  on  honesty  of  goods  which  other  nations 
would  find  it  hard  to  take  from  us." 

Here  "by"  is  a  weak  introductive.     He  means: 

"Such  a  system,  I  believe,  would  serve  to  establish  a  foreign 

trade  so  well  based  on  honesty  of  goods  that  other  nations  would 

find  it  hard  to  compete  with  us." 

'While'  is  another  little  word  much  misused.     Instead  of 

being  restricted  to  its  primary  function  as  an  adverb  of  time, 

it  is  employed  as  a  conjunction  synonymous  with  'whereas', 

'though',  'but',  or 'and'. 

(38)  "While  [whereas  or  although]  coal  and  iron  command 
high  prices,  oil  has  become  cheaper." 

(39)  "At  some  points  the  ore  is  4  feet  wide  while  at  others 
it  narrows  to  6  inches." 

Insert  a  semicolon  after  "wide"  and  delete  "while". 
'Along  these  lines'  and  'along  this  line'  is  a  common  crudity. 
It  is  neither  precise  nor  clear. 

(40)  "  Examinations  along  these  lines  were   made   every 
year." 

"Examinations  of  this  kind  (or  for  this  purpose)  were  made 
every  year."  Perhaps  "similar  examinations"  would  express 
the  meaning,  which  is  still  left  in  doubt. 

(41)  "The  development  of  the  mine  along  this  line  is  sure 
to  prove  successful." 

"The  development  of  the  mine  in  accordance  with  this  plan 
is  sure  to  prove  successful." 


SLOVENLINESS  I'Z'S 

(42)  "  Investigations    along    petrographic    lines    are    not 
needed." 

"Petrographic  investigations  are  not  needed." 
'Occur'  and  'occurrence'  are  over- worked,  especially  by 
geologists.    They  are  words  to  be  used  sparingly. 

(43)  "The  other  mineralogical  occurrence  [mineral]  I  found 
in  the  Gila  Canyon  Consolidated  Copper  Co.'s  mine." 

(44)  "There  are  seldom  any  signs  of  secondary  copper 
enrichment,  unless  it  be  the  occasional  occurrence  along  cracks 
of  pyrite." 

He  means:  "Signs  of  sulphide  enrichment  are  rare,  except 
where  the  pyrite  has  been  deposited  along  cracks."  "Occa- 
sional occurrence"  suggests  time;  he  means  place;  here  and 
there  the  pyrite  was  detected  by  him  along  the  cracks. 
"Cracks  of  pyrite"  is  a  bad  phrase. 

(45)  "The  gold  occurs  [is]  distributed  over  a  large  area." 

(46)  "The  fluorspar  mines  occur  [are]  in  Pope  and  Hardin 
Counties." 

Usually  'occur'  takes  the  place  of  a  word  that  is  more 
specific. 

(47)  "Hardwood  trees  occur  on  these  slopes." 
The  word  he  needed  was  'grow'. 

(48)  "In  parts  of  the  mine  where  the  fault  occurs,  the  veins 
are  shattered  and  impoverished." 

He  means  that  where  the  veins  are  crossed  by  the  fault, 
they  are  shattered  and  poor  in  gold. 

(49)  "The  telluride  occurs  in  [lines  or  encrusts]  the  interior 
of  the  cavity." 

A  'cavity'  is  a  void,  considered  with  reference  to  the  cir- 
cumjacent material.  "The  telluride  encrusts  the  cavity." 

(50)  "Underlying  this  decomposed  garnet  in  the  formerly 
barren  crystalline  lime  [are]  the  secondary  zinc  ores  occur." 

Delete  '  occur '  and  end  the  sentence  with  a  significant  word. 

Writers  who  overwork  'occur'  are  likely  to  introduce  their 
statements  with  'there  is'  and  'there  are',  both  of  which  are 
poor  locutions — the  mere  tuning  of  language. 


124  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(51)  "Wherever  the  galena  occurs  there  is  an  increase  of 
silver  in  the  ore."     The  man  that  wrote  this  failed  to  say  where 
or  how  the  galena  was  distributed  in  the  lode  or  vein,  and  thus 
omitted  a  necessary  item  of  information. 

"Wherever  the  galena  is  seen,  there  the  ore  is  richer  in 
silver. 

(52)  "Small  packages  can  be  easily  carried  and  there  is 
not  the  incentive  to  drop  them  by  the  carriers."     This  can  be 
amended  thus: 

"Small  packages  can  be  carried  easily,  therefore  the  carriers 
are  not  tempted  to  drop  them." 

(53)  "There  are  few  Cornishmen  employed  at  Treadwell." 

(54)  "I  question  whether  there  is  any  probability  of  succeed- 
ing with  this  process." 

These  statements  may  be  improved  thus: 
"Few  Cornishmen  are  employed  at  Treadwell." 
"I  question  whether  the  process  can  succeed." 

(55)  "There  are  more  men  killed  in  metal-mining  in  the 
United  States,  in  proportion  to  the  number  employed,  than  in 
the  country's  coal  mines." 

Here  'there  are'  merely  detracts  from  the  force  of  the  state- 
ment; start  with  "More  men  are  killed"  and  note  how  much 
more  direct  and  forceful  it  is. 

'It  is'  belongs  in  the  category  of  feeble  introductions. 

(56)  "It  is  the  belief  of  the  miners  that  the  ground  now 
worked  may  be  a  slide." 

"The  miners  believe  that  the  ground  etc." 

(57)  "It  is  a  sign  of  richness  in  gold  when  the  quartz  is 
ribboned." 

"The  ribboning  of  the  quartz  indicates  richness  in  gold." 
Begin  and  end  a  sentence  with  an  emphatic  word,  as  far  as 

may  be  practicable  without  stilting  the  phraseology. 

Avoid  redundancy.     In  the  following  examples  the  italicized 

words  should  be  deleted: 

(58)  "The   railway   should   be   finished   in   nine   months 
time." 


SLOVENLINESS  125 

(59)  "It  requires  several  weeks  or  months  time  to  treat  the 
ore." 

(60)  "The  mine  is  three  miles  distant  from  the  mill." 

(61)  "Timbers  are  set  at  a  distance  of  4  ft.  2  in.  centre  to 
centre." 

(62)  "The  peak  is  12,750  ft.  high  above  sea-level." 

(63)  "Manganese  if  present  can  be  precipitated  at  the  same 
time  as  the  iron." 

It  must  be  present  in  order  to  be  precipitated. 

(64)  "It  is  best  to  use  zinc  sheets  2  feet  by  3  feet  in  size.11 
Do  not  attempt  to  be  impressive  by  piling  one  word  on 

another. 

(65)  "Records   were   started   with   this    ultimate   end    in 
view." 

(66)  "He  cannot  return  home  before  the  final  completion 
of  the  mill." 

(67)  "This  oil  will  serve  equally  as  well  as  oleic  acid." 

(68)  "The  roasting  will  require  probably  about  seven  hours 
time." 

Study  the  meaning  of  words  so  that  you  will  not  employ 
1  evince'  or  'evidence'  when  you  mean  'show';  'phenomenal' 
when  you  mean  'extraordinary';  'transpire'  for  'become 
known';  or  'problematical'  for  'doubtful'.  As  you  obtain 
literary  taste,  you  will  abhor  'advent'  as  a  synonym  for  'in- 
troduction' or  'arrival';  'situation'  for  'state';  'eliminate' 
for  'extract';  'avoid'  for  'destroy';  'proposition'  for  'pro- 
posal'; 'contemplate'  for  'plan'  or  'intend';  'balance'  for 
'compensate';  and  'unethical'  for  'improper'. 

(69)  "The  stamp-mill  held  its  own  until  the  advent  [intro- 
duction] of  the  cyanide  process." 

(70)  "The  treatment  of  the  pyritic  copper  ores  awaited  the 
advent  [application]  of  modern  smelting  methods." 

(71)  "  The  cyanide  situation  [scarcity  of  cyanide]  in  Northern 
Ontario." 

(72)  "A  tramway  will  be  built  around  Mineral  lake  to 
eliminate  [avoid]  the  use  of  barges." 


126  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(73)  "The  proposition  [proposal]  made  by  the  union  was 
rejected." 

(74)  "The  erection  of  one  smelter  and  the  completion  of 
others  now  contemplated  [planned  or  proposed]." 

(75)  "It  would  be  unethical  [improper]  to  disclose  my  reason 
for  withdrawing  from  the  case." 

(76)  "The  natural  expectation  would  be  that  they  [each] 
(Carranza  and  Villa)  will  each  [would]   start  in  to  eliminate 
[destroy]  the  other." 

No  man  with  a  right  feeling  for  language  would  be  guilty 
of  such  lapses.  Acquire  good  taste  by  reading  good  literature : 
Huxley  and  Spencer,  Thoreau  and  Lowell.  Read  '  The  Atlantic 
Monthly ',  '  The  Outlook  ',  and  '  The  World's  Work  ',  not  the 
magazines  that  adopt  the  language  of  the  street. 

If  you  read  only  second-rate  stuff,  you  will  lose  the  taste 
for  good  English,  and  the  quality  of  your  own  writing  will  suffer, 
until  you  may  even  be  guilty  of  such  lapses  as  the  following: 

(77)  "There  are  companies  arranging  to  install  commercial 
size  units  of  several  new  inventions.     It  is  far  from  probable 
that  all  these  schemes  will  prove  successful  and  therefore  one 
anticipates   hearing   of   disappointments   experienced   by  the 
pioneers  in  this  work." 

He  may  have  meant  to  say: 

"Several  companies  are  arranging  to  erect  working  units 
based  upon  new  inventions.  It  is  unlikely  that  all  these 
schemes  will  prove  successful,  and  one  may  anticipate  that  the 
pioneers  will  suffer  many  disappointments." 

(78)  "In  practically  every  instance,  operators  plan  to  make 
the  fuel  item  a  self-contained  proposition." 

He  is  speaking  of  oil-shale,  and  he  means : 

"Most  of  the  operators  plan  to  use  the  shale  itself  for  fuel." 

(79)  "These  often  contain  cassiterite,  sometimes  in  profit- 
able quantities,  but  long  before  the  water  sorted  gravels  are 
reached  the  wolfram  has  disappeared,  though  it  comes  from  the 
same  lodes  as  the  tin  ore  where  it  almost  invariably  occurs  in 
considerably  greater  quantities." 


SLOVENLINESS  127 

Probably  he  meant: 

"In  many  localities  these  alluvial  deposits  contain  suf- 
ficient cassiterite  to  be  mined  profitably,  but  long  before 'the 
water-sorted  gravel  is  reached  the  wolfram  has  ceased  to  appear, 
although  it  is  derived  from  the  tin-bearing  lodes,  in  which 
it  is  invariably  the  predominant  mineral." 

That  may  not  have  been  his  meaning;  the  worst  of  such 
writing  is  not  its  ungainliness  but  its  obscurity.  It  may  not  be 
intended  to  be  beautiful,  but  it  certainly  is  intended  to  convey 
information,  and  in  that  it  fails. 

(80)  "  In  a  cross-cut  on  the  14th  level  in  ground  to  the  east 
of  the  main  drift  along  the  line  of  the  larger  ore  shoot  a  vein 
of  quartz  was  struck,  which  on  being  followed  soon  developed 
values,  and  further  on  extraordinary  values." 

Would  you  think  of  engaging  the  services  of  an  engineer 
showing  so  little  intelligence?  He  may  have  meant  to  say: 

"  On  the  14th  level  a  cross-cut  going  eastward  from  the  main 
drift,  that  is,  the  one  along  the  line  of  the  larger  ore-shoot, 
struck  a  vein  of  quartz,  which,  on  being  followed,  began  to  show 
ore  and  a  little  farther  yielded  ore  of  extraordinary  richness." 

(81)  "There  has  never  been  any  doubt  that  the  problem 
of  dry  concentration  would  some  day  be  solved  and  its  present 
successful  advent  should  not  be  passed  by  without  at  least  an 
investigation." 

Was  it  the  "advent"  or  the  "problem"  that  merited  atten- 
tion? How  does  one  'pass  by'  an  '  ad  vent '  even  in  the  dark? 

"It  never  was  doubted  that  dry  concentration  would  some 
day  prove  successful,  therefore  this  latest  experiment  is  well 
worthy  of  attention." 

Use  words  so  that  each  one  may  be  significant.  We  keep 
different  tools  for  different  kinds  of  work,  thereby  gaining 
efficiency.  Keep  each  word  to  its  allotted  task.  Do  not  dull 
the  edge  of  a  chisel  by  using  it  as  a  screw-driver. 

'  Differentiate '  refers  to  a  physical  process  of  becoming 
different;  it  is  not  a  correct  synonym  for  'discriminate'  or 
'  distinguish '. 


128  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(82)  "It  would  not  be  fair  to  differentiate  [discriminate] 
against  him." 

*'  Designate '  is  to  specify  or  particularize,  not  to  choose, 
appoint,  or  name. 

(83)  "He  designated  [appointed]  Jones  foreman." 

'  Visualize '  is  to  make  visible,  to  imagine  vividly,  not  to  see, 
describe,  or  illustrate. 

(84)  "He  was  unable  to  visualize  [imagine]  the  horrors  of 
War." 

'Discount'  is  to  deduct  from  an  amount  or  make  allowance, 
not  to  expect,  anticipate,  or  offset. 

(85)  "The  manager  discounted  [anticipated]  the  caving  of 
the  stope." 

These  examples  should  serve  as  warnings  to  the  engineer, 
who  nowadays  makes  a  fetish  of  efficiency,  and  writes  articles 
upon  it  in  ineffective  language. 

An  American  provincialism  that  is  gaining  ground  is  the 
use  of  a  geographic  noun  as  an  adjective,  thus: 

(86)  "A  California  [Calif ornian]  mining  engineer". 

(87)  "The  Alaska  [Alaskan]  method  of  drift  mining." 

Our  daily  papers  show  such  head-lines  as  'Good  Italy 
Harvest';  'Great  Albania  battle';  'U.  S.  Victory'.  In  these 
the  corresponding  adjective  is  desirable:  Italian,  Albanian, 
American.  Undoubtedly  such  newspaper  usage  is  corrupting; 
technical  writers  should  take  care  not  to  copy  the  habits  of 
the  illiterate. 

Careless  writers,  with  a  fondness  alike  for  the  abstract  word 
and  the  unnecessary  plural,  also  show  a  preference  for  vague 
terms  when  precise  ones  are  available.  They  use  the  present 
participal  of  a  verb  in  place  of  the  noun  itself;  thus 

capping  instead  of       cap 
cropping  outcrop 

filling  fill 

faulting  fault 

heavy  stulling  big  stulls 


SLOVENLINESS  129 

(88)  "  A  capping  [cap]  of  leached  monzonite  covers  the  ore." 

(89)  "There  are  [is]  no  cropping >s  [outcrop]  of  the  vein  to 
guide  the  prospector." 

(90)  "The  fillings  [fill]  in  the  old  stopes  can  be  milled  at 
a  profit." 

Abstraction  is  carried  to  inanity  by  scribblers  who  change 

nations  into       nationalities 
authors  authorities 

events  eventualities 

persons  personalities 

characters  characteristics 

It  is  well  to  look  askance  at  words  ending  in  'ism',  'istic', 
and  'ization',  for  they  come  of  a  vacuous  tribe.* 

Technology  knows  no  political  boundaries.  The  part  of  it 
written  in  English  goes  around  the  world.  We  exchange  freely 
with  the  British  and  their  cousins  overseas.  The  English 
language  is  the  common  heritage  alike  of  the  American  and 
the  Briton,  both  of  whom  befoul  it  with  vulgarisms  and  colloqui- 
alisms that  are  understood  only  locally  or  regionally.  In  order 
that  technical  literature  may  pass  current  wherever  our  language 
is  spoken,  and  even  in  foreign  countries  where  it  has  to  be 
translated  laboriously,  it  is  our  duty  to  discard  local  terms  or 
provincial  phraseology.  For  example,  'reef  as  used  for 
'lode'  in  Australia  and  'ledge'  as  used  for  'vein'  in  California 
'  are  both  objectionable  terms.  An  orebody  underground 
has  no  resemblance  to  the  rock  that  imperils  navigation,  nor 
does  a  vertical  outcrop  resemble  a  shelf,  f 

The  Australian  puts  his '  mullock '  [waste  rock]  in  a '  paddock ' 
[enclosure]  while  the  American  puts  his  'dirt'  [ore]  in  a  steel 
'tank'  [bin].  The  'mullocker'  at  Bendigo  is  equivalent  to  the 
'mucker'  at  Tonopah,  and  each  is  a  'shoveler'  in  good  English. 
I  need  not  multiply  examples  of  bucolic  terms  and  illiterate 

*  Allbutt.     Op.  cit.     Page  144. 

t  A  'ledge*  of  oil-shale  is  correct,  because  the  shale  is  nearly  horizontal 
and  projects  from  the  face  of  a  hill  like  a  shelf, 


130  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

localisms.  They  disfigure  technology  and  obstruct  scientific 
thought.  Why  should  a  scientific  man — for  that  assuredly 
describes  the  mining  engineer — go  to  the  illiterate  workman 
for  his  terms?  If  you  wish  to  learn  how  to  break  rock  ask 
the  Cornish  or  the  Italian  miner,  by  all  means,  but  if  you  wish 
to  use  the  delicate  instrument  of  expression  accurately  ask 
those  who  are  trained  in  the  art.  As  graduates  of  a  university 
you  are  expected  to  obtain  your  terminology  from  the  library, 
not  from  the  stope;  you  should  shape  your  phraseology  on  that 
of  the  college,  not  on  that  of  the  bunk-house. 

(91)  "These  tanks  [steel  bins]  have  proved  satisfactory, 
especially  to  the  mill-men,  who  are  relieved  of  all  ore-bin 
mucking" 

He  means  that  they  are  relieved  of  the  labor  of  shoveling 
inside  the  ore-bin. 

Such  adoption  of  local  vulgarisms  by  careless  writers  may 
be  defended  by  shallow  critics  as  one  phase  of  that  absorption 
of  new  elements  by  which  a  language  grows.  Of  course,  the 
English  language  is  a  living  organism  fed  continually  out  of 
the  varied  human  experience  of  our  peoples — the  American 
and  British  predominantly,  but  also  the  others  who  speak  it 
across  the  seven  seas.  All  of  which  in  no  wise  excuses  a  literate 
engineer  in  displacing  recognized  technical  terms  by  half-baked 
provincialisms. 

To  write  well  you  need  self-restraint — a  grip  on  yourself. 
The  notion  prevails  in  some  quarters  that  it  is  effeminate  to  use 
words  with  nicety,  that  the  practical  man  is  expected  to  fling 
them  about  him  with  careless  vigor.  That  is  a  mistake.  An 
educated  man  is  disciplined  in  words  as  in  conduct.  Indeed, 
the  self -discipline  of  writing  is  a  splendid  training  for  any  engi- 
neer. It  teaches  him  how  little  he  knows  accurately,  and  spurs 
him  to  gain  a  more  thorough  understanding.  The  turbid  pulp 
in  a  mill  is  made  clear  by  passing  through  classifiers  and  settlers, 
so  that  the  metal  is  precipitated  in  a  pure  and  crystalline  form. 
Similarly  ideas,  odds  and  ends  of  information,  stray  bits  of 
observation,  if  passed  through  the  mind  in  the  act  of  writing 


SLOVENLINESS  131 

are  co-ordinated,  classified,  and  systematized  into  workable 
shape,  into  definite  form,  ready  for  immediate  use. 

In  technology  we  should  try  to  keep  each  term  for  a  specific 
duty. 

'  Locate '  and  '  location '  should  be  restricted  to  the  delimit- 
ing of  a  claim.  If  we  use  these  words  in  other  senses,  we  cause 
confusion. 

(92)  "He  located  the  mill  on  Deer  creek." 

Did  he  'locate'  a  mill-site  or  did  he  build  a  mill  on  the  creek? 

(93)  "The  superintendent  located  [found]  the  ore-shoot  on 
the  fifth  level." 

(94)  "He  is  now  located  at  Silverton." 
"He  lives  at  Silverton  now." 

(95)  "The  mine  is  located  in  Northern  Rhodesia." 

Delete  'located',  or  substitute  'situated'. 

'Carboniferous'  and  'carbonaceous'  have  different  mean- 
ings. They  should  not  be  used  interchangeably.  'Carbon- 
iferous' referred  originally  to  the  geologic  division  of  time 
associated  with  the  formation  of  coal,  but  all  Carboniferous 
strata  do  not  contain  coal.  It  is  now  simply  the  name  of  a 
geologic  period,  and  is  given  a  capital  'C'.  'Carbonaceous' 
means  carbon-bearing,  or  containing  carbon;  it  may  be  used 
to  describe  a  black  shale.  A  rock  may  be  both  Carboniferous 
and  carbonaceous,  as  in  Missouri,  where  a  limestone  belonging 
to  the  period  immediately  succeeding  the  Devonian  is  black 
with  the  product  of  decomposed  vegetal  [not  'vegetable'] 
remains. 

'Calcining'  and  'roasting'  are  not  synonyms.  The  first 
should  be  applied  to  a  process  for  removing  carbon  di-oxide 
from  carbonates,  such  as  limestone,  or  for  dehydrating  a 
hematite  ore;  the  second  should  be  restricted  to  a  process  for 
the  expulsion  of  sulphur  by  heat  in  the  presence  of  oxygen. 

'Tank'  is  a  term  sadly  over-worked.  It  means  a  large 
vessel  used  for  storing  liquid.  A  large  vessel  employed  for  con- 
ducting a  chemical  process  may  better  be  called  a  'vat'.  This 
distinction  is  not  often  observed,  but  it  can  be  made  to  advan- 


132  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

tage  in  technical  writing.-  Recently  the  word  Hank'  has  been 
used  for  a  cylindrical  steel  ore-bin.  This  use  only  serves  to  con- 
fuse. An  engine  of  war  lately  devised  has  been  called  a  Hank', 
although  it  is  more  like  a  glyptodon  or  some  other  monster  of 
the  primeval  slime.  We  can  forgive  the  'boys'  in  the  trenches 
anything,  but  not  the  metallurgist  that  calls  an  ore-bin  a 
'tank,'  as  if  in  mockery  of  these  dry  days. 

A  ' chute'  is  a  sloping  channel  down  which  material  is 
passed;  a  ' shoot'  is  an  orebody  of  recognizable  shape  and  in- 
clination in  a  lode. 

Those  who  consider  such  distinctions  of  no  consequence  will 
call  a  machine  for  getting  rid  of  slime  a  'slimer',  ignoring  the 
fact  that  the  suffix  'er'  indicates  an  agent,  so  that  a  'slimer' 
is  a  thing  that  makes  slime.  The  process  of  ' de-sliming'  is 
conducted  on  a  'slime-table'.  The  same  scribbler  would  talk 
of  '  dewatering '  a  shaft,  ignoring  the  fact  that  we  use  '  unwater ' 
to  signify  that  operation,  while  we  use  'dewater'  to  indicate 
the  removal  of  excess  water  in  a  pulp.  Again,  consider  the  dif- 
ference between  'recovery'  and  'extraction'.  In  subjecting 
a  copper  ore  to  concentration  the  percentage  of  the  copper  in 
the  concentrate  is  a  'recovery',  but  it  is  not  an  'extraction', 
for  that  is  the  work  of  the  smelter.  By  using  technical  terms 
thoughtfully  we  increase  our  vocabulary;  the  careless  use  of 
words  means  the  loss  of  distinct  meanings;  on  the  other  hand 
the  discriminating  use  of  words  assists  accurate  expression. 

'Section'  is  often  used  improperly.  A  section  is  a  division 
of  the  public  land  containing  640  acres.  It  is  also  the  view  along 
an  imaginary  slice  of  anything,  like  a  geologic  section  or  the 
section  of  a  machine,  intended  to  exhibit  the  interior.  We  ought 
not  to  use  it  as  a  synonym  for  'region',  'district',  or  'locality', 
as  in: 

(96)  "The  South-West  is  an  arid  section  [region]." 

(97)  "In  this  section  [district]  the  mines  produce  gold  only." 
Engineers   should   keep   technical   words   for   appropriate 

uses,  otherwise  they  lose  their  special  significance.  A  '  tunnel '  is 
a  gallery  or  bore  that  goes  through  a  hill  or  mountain  from 


SLOVENLINESS  133  \ 

daylight  to  daylight,  as  a  railway  tunnel  does.  A  level  that 
enters  a  mountain  from  the  surface,  to  become  the  main  artery 
of  a  mine  or  to  drain  the  water  from  the  underground  workings, 
without  going  through  to  the  other  side  of  the  mountain,  is 
an  'adit' — a  term  used  by  miners  from  time  immemorial. 

It  is  well  to  note  that  mistakes  are  rarely  solitary;  like 
sorrows  "they  come  not  single  spies,  but  in  battalions".  Let 
me  impress  upon  you  the  fact  that  if  you  are  careless  about  one 
detail — apparently  unimportant — you  are  likely  to  take  no 
thought  about  others.  Whether  or  not  you  accept  my  dictum 
concerning  the  use  of  this  or  that  word  or  the  rejection  of  this 
or  that  method  of  statement  is  of  minor  importance  as  compared 
with  your  acceptance  of  my  general  argument:  that  it  is 
worth  while  to  use  words  precisely  and  to  build  sentences 
logically.  The  man  that  learns  to  master  the  little  words  will 
acquire  mastery  over  the  big  phrases.  Genius  has  been  called 
an  infinite  capacity  for  taking  pains.  The  definition  is  incom- 
plete, but  it  recognizes  the  first  requisite  of  all  good  workman- 
ship: the  effort  to  be  thorough. 


XI.    JARGON. 

The  dictionary  defines  'jargon'  as  "  barbarous  or  debased 
language".  This  description  does  not  suffice.  Quiller-Couch 
has  said,  it  is  "a  kind  of  writing  which,  from  a  superficial 
likeness,  commonly  passes  for  prose  in  these  days,  and  by 
lazy  folk  is  commonly  written  for  prose,  yet  actually  is  not 
prose  at  all."  The  two  main  vices  of  jargon,  he  says,  are  "that 
it  uses  circumlocution  rather  than  short  straight  speech  ",  like 
the  Babu  who  reported  his  mother's  death  by  saying:  " Regret 
to  inform  you,  the  hand  that  rocked  the  cradle  has  kicked  the 
bucket."  Its  other  chief  vice  is  that  "it  habitually  chooses 
vague  woolly  abstract  nouns  rather  than  concrete  ones",  like 
the  newspaper  statement,  "He  was  conveyed  to  his  place  of 
residence  in  an  intoxicated  condition",  instead  of  saying, 
"He  was  carried  home  drunk."  Jargon  is  "an  infirmity  of 
speech",  it  is  not  journalese,  but  akin  to  it.  "Like  respect- 
ability in  Chicago,  jargon  stalks  unchecked  in  our  midst" 
and  renders  much  technical  writing  ridiculous.  It  deals  in 
periphrasis  instead  of  going  straight  to  the  point,  it  loves  the 
abstract  rather  than  the  concrete,  it  dabbles  in  words  of  sound 
rather  than  meaning.  Avoid  it,  despise  it,  if  you  purpose  earn- 
estly to  write  well.  "In  literature  as  in  life  he  makes  himself 
felt  who  not  only  calls  a  spade  a  spade  but  has  the  pluck  to 
double  spades  and  re-double."* 

Jargon  is  rampant  in  technical  publications.  Catalogues 
and  other  advertisements  are  conspicuous  offenders,  but  with 
these  the  critic  is  not  concerned,  except  in  so  far  as  such  'write- 
ups'  pretend  to  follow  the  style  set  by  technical  journals  and 
by  the  transactions  of  technical  societies.  Here  is  an  example, 
taken  from  a  reputable  paper: 

*  These  quotations  are  from  a  lecture  delivered  at  Cambridge  by  Sir 
Arthur  Quiller-Couch.  'The  Art  of  Writing'.  1916. 

134 


JARGON 

(1)  "The  next  proposition  was  to  take  out  the  rock  to  a 
depth  of  20  ft.  and  build  up  an  underpinning  wall  to  carry  the 
weight  of  the  caisson  and  make  the  permanent  seal  to  keep  out 
all  water.     To  avoid  the  possibility  of  jarring  loose  any  of 
the  temporary  sealing  blocks  or  breaking  back  under  them  the 
rock  which  was  of  a  slatey  nature,  this  excavation  was  started 
by  channeling  out  for  a  depth  of  5  ft.  all  around  the  shaft 
about  1  ft.  inside  of  the  blocking.     The  rock  was  then  taken 
out  in  the  ordinary  manner  with  two  shaft-bars  and  four  rock- 
drills  in  operation.     To  further  prevent  the  jarring  of  this  block- 
ing the  rock  was  taken  out  in  5-ft.  benches  only.    This  made 
the  work  necessarily  slower,  but  it  was  deemed  advisable  and 
so  proved,   for,   notwithstanding  the   care  exercised,   certain 
leakages  occurred  which  made  the  rock  excavation  slow  on 
account  of  the  shifting  of  pumps,  taking  off  and  putting  back 
suction  pipes,  etc.     This  rock,  as  above  mentioned,  was  a  species 
of  sand  slate  which  would  break  back  a  considerable  distance 
from  the  line  of  holes." 

I  shall  not  attempt  to  revise  it,  for  it  needs  to  be  re-written 
by  one  possessing  the  detailed  information  that  the  writer  has 
attempted,  unsuccessfully,  to  impart.  To  many  it  may  not 
seem  utterly  bad,  but  it  is  obvious  that  only  absolute  need  of 
the  information  would  induce  anybody  to  read  it. 

The  foregoing  example  shows  how  the  English  language  is 
mishandled  in  America;  now  I  shall  give  you  an  example  to 
show  how  our  language  is  maltreated  in  the  country  of  its 
origin.  The  following  quotation  is  taken  from  a  book  on  petro- 
leum recently  published  in  London. 

(2)  "In  this  vaporizer,  which  works  efficiently  with  any  of 
the  refined  flash-proof  lamp  oils,  the  mixture  is  only  heated  to  the 
comparatively  low  temperature  of  300°  to  400°  F.,  in  which  con- 
nection it  is  well  to  understand  that  the  more  perfectly  an  oil 
is  atomized  the  lower  is  the  temperature  necessary  to  its 
combustion,  which  is  an  advantage,  if  not  off-set  by  the  neces- 
sity for  a  more  than  corresponding  complexity  of  apparatus, 
which  in  this  case,  as  will  be  seen,  requires  an  air  pump  and  for 


136  TECHNICAL  WRITING       . 

the  fuel  to  be  contained  in  a  tank  subject  to  a  pressure  of  8  to 
15  Ibs.  per  square  inch;  and  this  again  obviously  necessitates 
a  separate  hand  pump,  or  a  pressure  supply  for  starting." 

The  errors  are  so  many  that  the  entire  paragraph  needs  to 
be  re-written.  Why  does  he  hyphenate  'flash-proof  and  not 
'lamp  oils'  and  'air  pump'  or  'hand  pump'?  He  uses  'which' 
with  irritating  frequency;  he  employs  the  abstraction  'com- 
plexity of  apparatus '  instead  of  the  concrete  '  complex  appara- 
tus',  besides  a  plain  error  of  grammar,  namely,  "requires  .  .  . 
for  the  fuel  to  be  contained."  The  writer  is  an  educated  engi- 
neer, but  he  disregards  the  obligations  of  an  educated  man. 

Here  follows  an  attempt  to  describe  the  operation  of  a 
machine-drill  in  a  mine: 

(3)  "Following  the  shooting,  the  mucker  begins  his  work, 
the  drill  man  climbs  to  the  top  of  the  muck,  and  by  the  time  the 
four  feet  of  ground  shot  down  is  mucked  out,  he  is  again  ready 
to  shoot  his  round  of  holes." 

"Muck",  "muck",  "muck" — it  is  the  very  muck  of  writing. 
The  word  means  filth  or  manure.  It  is  used  as  a  synonym 
for  'dirt',  the  miner's  term  for  broken  rock.  Thus  'muck' 
refers  to  the  shattered  rock  resulting  from  blasting,  which  is  not 
in  the  least  filthy.  Shovelers,  that  is,  those  who  shovel  the 
broken  rock  into  the  car  at  the  face  of  a  level  or  cross-cut,  are 
now  called  'muckers'.  What  gain  is  there?  'Shoveler'  is 
significant,  'mucker'  is  the  rubbish  of  words. 

The  next  example  comes  from  a  description  of  the  small 
locomotives  used  in  mines.  It  reads: 

(4)  "Face  gathering,  wherein  the  locomotive  must  enter  the 
room,   imposes   conditions   which   call   for   distinctly   special 
treatment  in  the  design  and  equipment  of  a  locomotive  of  high 
efficiency.     The  ordinary  haulage  locomotive  in  nearly  all  cases 
is  totally  unfitted  to  this  work,  which  involves  operation  in 
narrow  quarters,  around  sharp  curves,  over  poorly  laid  tracks, 
etc.    The  locomotive  of  real  value  in  room  work  is  one  which, 
by  reason  of  proportions  and  construction,  will  go  wherever  a 
mine  car  will  run,  and  with  equal  facility.    It  must  be  compact, 


JARGON  137 

no  wider  than  the  wheels,  with  short  wheel-base  and  small 
wheels,  and  without  long  overhang  at  either  end." 

This  is  the  sort  of  thing  that  makes  a  technical  description 
seem  like  a  cryptogram  or  a  slab  of  picture-writing  from 
Nineveh.  To  any  one  versed  in  the  subject  of  locomotives 
for  underground  use,  this  paragraph  is  intelligible,  but  only 
that.  It  succeeds  in  making  the  subject  as  uninteresting  as 
possible  and  places  the  meaning  as  much  beneath  the  surface 
as  the  locomotive  itself. 

The  last  two  examples  come  from '  write-ups ',  the  trade  name 
for  a  eulogistic  description  of  a  manufactured  article,  prepared 
in  the  interest  of  the  manufacturer  and  written  by  a  man  more 
accustomed  to  the  use  of  a  screw-driver  than  a  pen.  The 
worst  writing  concerning  technical  matters  is  to  be  found  in 
such  disguised  advertisements.  They  ought  to  be  attractively 
written,  to  serve  their  purpose;  in  failing  to  do  so,  they  illus- 
trate the  essential  ineffectiveness  of  bad  writing. 

Grammatical  correctness  is  no  excuse  for  a  statement  that 
is  likely  to  cause  trouble  to  your  reader.  He  must  have  your 
consideration  always  if  you  expect  to  be  recognized  as  an  ef- 
fective writer.  A  technical  journal  states: 

(5)  "The  specifying  by  a  mining  company  that  no  man  may 
be  employed  by  it  unless  he  be  a  member  of  such  an  organiza- 
tion, though  undoubtedly  legal,  is  as  contrary  to  social  justice 
as  the  specifying  that  no  member  of  any  organization  will  be 
employed,  or  the  refusing  to  recognize  any  employee  as  repre- 
senting anyone  or  anything  except  himself  as  an  individual.'7 

That  reminds  one  of  a  passage  in  'Alice  in  Wonderland'; 
"Never  imagine  yourself  not  to  be  -otherwise  than  what  it 
might  appear  to  others  that  what  you  were  or  might  have  been 
was  not  otherwise  than  what  you  had  been  would  have  appeared 
to  them  to  be  otherwise." 

Here  is  more  technical  writing  of  a  supposedly  serious  sort: 

(6)  "The  expenditure  involved  is  only  justifiable  with  the 
assured   certainty  of  very  large   ore  reserves  having  values 
materially  above  operating  costs." 


138  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"The  expenditure  involved  would  be  justified  only  by  the 
certainty  of  an  adequate  reserve  of  profitable  ore." 
A  respectable  engineer  writes: 

(7)  "They  would  go  to  the  lay-out  and  see  if  it  was  checked 
out;  if  found  out  to  be  laid  out,  the  lay-out  foreman  would  spend 
his  time  in  looking  for  it,  and  if  he  could  not  find  it  he  would  get 
out  a  new  one." 

Such  stuff  is  a  disgrace  to  the  profession;  moreover,  it  is 
proof  of  such  want  of  intellectual  power  as  to  argue  against  the 
possession  of  technical  understanding. 

Shun  outworn  figures  of  speech,  like  'a  bolt  from  the  blue', 
'the  swing  of  the  pendulum',  'the  cry  is  still  they  come',  'after 
us  the  deluge',  'the  Mecca  of  their  pilgrimage7,  'the  Phoenix 
from  his  ashes',  'open  Sesame',  and  'the  labors  of  Hercules'. 
They  rarely  give  point  to  technical  description;  usually  they 
are  mere  tags,  in  the  reporter's  style — a  style  to  be  scrupulously 
avoided  in  technical  writing.  Abstain  from  the  use  of  such 
verbal  inanities  as  'festive',  'pristine',  'erstwhile',  'material- 
ize', and  'eventuate'.  Theser  are  precious  to  the  reporter, 
but  taboo  to  the  intelligent  writer. 

Take  note  of  the  fact  that  nonsense  remains  nonsense  how- 
ever much  you  may  disguise  it  in  a  veil  of  words.  We  think 
in  words,  and  when  we  lack  clear  words  we  lack  clear  thoughts. 
Clear  thinking  is  necessary  to  effective  speech  or  writing. 
The  forceful  utterances  and  keen  analyses  to  be  remarked 
occasionally  in  men  devoid  of  academic  training  show  that  the 
question  of  clear  statement  depends  upon  logic.  Correct 
speech — grammatical  speech — is  logical  speech.  The  following 
is  a  quotation  from  an  address  delivered  by  a  prominent  finan- 
cier in  San  Francisco: 

(8)  "  Let  us  learn,  then,  to  realize  that  each  has  his  dominion 
and  his  empire  of  domination,  in  which  by  the  exercise  of  these 
qualities  that  are  alike  in  spelling  success  each  may  rise  to  a 
position  of  leadership,  with  potentialities  of  power  as  great  in  its 
sphere  of  action  as  that  one  of  the  many,  to  whom  we  look  for  the 
time  being,  because  of  some  particular  preferment  as  a  leader." 


JARGON  139 

This  is  balderdash.  It  is  "the  delirious  trimmings"  of 
language. 

Early  Victorian  elegance  has  no  place  in  technical  writing; 
for  example: 

(9)  "The  ore  was  relieved  of  its  moisture  through  the 
medium  of  drying  kilns."     Meaning  that: 

"The  ore  was  dried  in  kilns." 

Nor  do  we  want  late  Nevadan  uncouthness: 

(10)  "  With  the  installation  of  the  new  air-compressor  under- 
ground development  is  being  prosecuted  more  rapidly." 

Is  the  air-compressor  underground  or  is  it  being  used  for 
development  underground?  Should  a  comma  come  before  or 
after  the  word  ' underground'?  The  rapid  progress  is  not  being 
made  "with  the  installation"  of  anything,  but  by  the  new 
compressor,  operating  more  machine-drills.  You  do  not 
prosecute  a  development;  for  that  involves  the  pursuit  of  an 
abstraction. 

(11)  "The  tributer  is  assisted  in  the  prosecution  of  his  work 
by  being  given  supplies." 

'Prosecution/  in  this  context  also,  is  a  foolish  word,  apart 
from  being  an  abstract  noun.  Slovenly  writers  who  use  such 
words  also  use  too  many  others.  He  meant  to  say: 

"The  tributer  is  assisted  in  his  work  by  being  given 
supplies";  meaning  candles,  dynamite,  caps,  and  fuse. 

(12)  "Gold  Mountain  was  turned  down  by  a  succession 
of  eminent  engineers."     It  would  be  more  to  the  point  to  give 
the  names  of  some  of  the  engineers. 

(13)  "He  extracted  the  gold  in  the  residue,  thus  doing  away 
with  [obviating]  the  necessity  for  [need  of]  re-handling  it." 

It  was  not  the  'necessity',  but  the  're-handling',  that  he 
wished  to  avoid.  Was  it  the  gold  or  the  residue  that  he  was 
trying  not  to  're-handle'?  He  meant  to  say:  "He  extracted 
the  gold  in  the  residue,  thus  avoiding  re-treatment." 

Slovenliness  in  writing  is  due  not  to  poverty  of  ideas  but 
to  careless  thinking.  It  may  escape  censure  because  the  major- 
ity of  readers  are  uncritical  and  too  patient.  Given  a  careless 


140  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

writer  and  an  equally  careless  reader,  you  have  a  perform- 
ance about  as  profitable  as  a  lecture  to  the  deaf. 

(14)  "The  Lake  Superior  copper  mines  are  making  a  good 
recovery  from  the  disorganized  condition  in  which  the  long 
persistence  of  the  strike  put  them." 

Here  you  have  the  abstract  phrases  "the  lon^  persistence" 
and  "making  a  good  recovery"  instead  of  a  concrete  statement 
saying  that  the  strike  had  lasted  long  and  that  work  at  the  mines 
had  been  resumed.  '  Mines '  is  not  the  real  subject  of  this 
statement,  but  the  work  being  done  in  them.  He — and  he 
was  an  editor — meant  to  say: 

"The  working  force  at  the  Lake  Superior  copper  mines  is 
being  re-organized  and  operations  are  being  resumed  after  the 
long  strike." 

Statements  that  seem  intelligible  and  are  accepted  by  the 
patient  reader  without  protest  may  yet  fail  to  convey  informa- 
tion accurately;  and  the  docile  reader — for  every  man  that  sub- 
mits willingly  to  the  attraction  of  an  article,  and  reads  it, 
is  in  a  docile  mood — either  loses  interest  presently  because  of 
the  vagueness  of  the  discourse  or  struggles  against  the  obstacles 
of  clouded  style  until  he  is  inclined  to  attribute  the  difficulty 
to  a  temporary  mental  inability  of  his  own.  The  headaches 
of  young  students  in  their  struggle  to  conquer  knowledge  from 
text-books  are  due  more  to  the  defective  literary  technique 
of  the  writers  of  the  text-books  than  to  difficulty  inherent  in 
the  subject  or  to  stupidity  on  the  part  of  the  learners. 

(15)  "The  vein  is  a  quartz  fissure  with  a  width  of  1  to  6  ft., 
a  dip  of  50°  to  the  north,  and  a  filling  of  galena,  sphalerite, 
pyrite,  and  chalcopyrite." 

How  can  it  be  a  fissure  filled  with  quartz — for  that  is  a 
quartz  fissure,  not  a  fissure  in  quartz — if  it  is  filled  with  the 
four  other  minerals  specified?  Nor  is  the  fissure  attached  to  a 
width  or  a  dip.  He  meant: 

"The  vein  is  from  1  to  6  ft.  wide,  it  dips  50°  north,  and  con- 
sists of  quartz  containing  galena,  sphalerite,  pyrite,  and  chal- 
copyrite." 


JARGON  141 

'Encounter'  is  a  word  greatly  over-worked.  It  means  to 
meet  hostilely  or  in  conflict.  The  use  of  it  in  varying  senses 
tends  to  vagueness. 

(16)  "The  rocks  indicate  to  the  miner  when  encountered  the 
general  lower  limits  of  the  volcanics." 

He  means  that  where  (not '  when ')  a  particular  rock  is  found 
underground,  there  the  lower  limit  (not  'limits')  of  the  volcanic 
series  is  indicated.  Therefore  he  might  have  said: 

"These  rocks,  wherever  found  in  the  mine,  indicate  that 
the  lower  limit  of  the  volcanic  series  has  been  reached." 

(17)  "The    ore-bearing  volcanics    are  seemingly  of  more 
importance  to  the  district  from  a  gold-producing  standpoint  than 
was  at  first  supposed." 

He  meant  that  the  volcanic  rocks  had  a  greater  influence 
upon  the  deposition  of  gold  in  the  district  than  had  been  sup- 
posed. He  used  'seemingly'  three  times  in  eight  lines  of  his 
manuscript,  and  you  can  infer  from  that  how  careless  he  was. 

(18)  "Some  difficulties  are  encountered  by  the  formation  of 
sodium  sulphate  in  the  roasting  furnace,  which  dissolves  to- 
gether with  the  sodium  chr ornate." 

Here  'encounter'  means  'caused'.  The  wrong  use  of 
'which'  makes  the  writer  state  that  the  furnace  'dissolved'. 
The  omission  of  the  hyphen  suggests  that  the  furnace  was 
'roasting'.  'Together'  is  redundant.  What  he  meant  to  say 
was: 

"During  the  process  of  roasting,  sundry  difficulties  are 
introduced  by  the  formation  of  sodium  sulphate,  because  it 
dissolves  with  the  sodium  chromate." 

All  these  pluralities,  generalities,  and  abstractions  are  the 
mark  of  jargon.  As  Quiller-Couch  says:  "To  write  jargon 
is  to  be  perpetually  shuffling  around  in  the  fog  and  cotton-wool 
of  abstract  terms:  to  be  forever  hearkening,  like  Ibsen's  Peer 
Gynt,  to  the  voice  of  the  Borg  exhorting  you  to  circumvent 
the  difficulty,  to  beat  the  air  because  it  is  easier  than  to  flesh 
your  sword  in  the  thing." 

Avoid  extravagance.     One  of  the  chief  obstacles  to  precision 


142  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

in  writing  is  prolixity,  the  employment  of  superfluous  words. 
Shy  at  such  phrases  as  'with  regard  to',  'in  respect  of,  'at 
the  same  time',  'as  a  consequence  of,  'in  connection  with', 
'from  the  standpoint  of,  'on  the  basis  of,  'of  such  a  character', 
'to  any  extent',  'according  as  to  whether',  'on  the  whole', 
'more  or  less',  and  so  forth.  Occasionally  one  or  another  of 
these  unlovely  locutions  may  be  useful  or  necessary,  but 
resort  to  them  grudgingly,  treating  them  as  first  cousins  to 
jargon,  which  is  the  newspaper  prostitution  of  our  language. 

(19)  "With  regard  to  the  process,  the  principal  difficulty 
that  arose  in  connection  with  the  operation  of  it  was  the  large 
amount  of  dust;    the  success  of  it  therefore  depended  as  to 
whether  it  could,  or  could  not  be  collected  without  incurring 
a  more  or  less  prohibitive  expense." 

The  17  words  underlined  are  mere  'empties'  in  the  train  of 
thought.  Note  too  the  careless  use  of  '  it ' ;  the  first  and  second 
refer  to  '  process ',  but  the  third  refers  to '  dust '.  He  might  have 
said: 

"The  success  of  the  process  depended  upon  the  economical 
collection  of  the  dust  made  during  the  operation." 

(20)  "  For  it  is  well  known  that  man's  methods  are  ever 
changing  while  Nature's  laws  upon  which  they  depend  are 
invariable." 

Two  unnecessary  and  insipid  clauses  are  interjected  under 
the  false  impression  that  they  give  dignity  to  the  statement. 
How  much  stronger  it  sounds  thus: 

"For  while  man's  methods  are  ever  changing,  Nature's 
laws  are  immutable." 

(21)  "Mistakes   in   assaying   are   far   commoner   than   is 
generally  thought  to  be  the  case." 

"Mistakes  in  assaying  are  more  common  than  is  generally 
supposed." 

(22)  "Perhaps  a  few  notes  as  to  some  of  my  experience  in 
connection  with 'mining  in  Colombia  will  be  of  interest." 

"Perhaps  a  few  notes  on  my  mining  experience  in  Colombia 
will  be  interesting." 


JARGON  143 

(23)  "The  special  difficulty  in  the  case  of  flotation  arose 
in  connection  with  the  treatment  of  the  concentrate." 

This  might  be  changed  to 

"The  special  difficulty  in  using  flotation  presented  itself 
when  treating  the  concentrate." 

Or,  preferably, 

"The  main  obstacle  to  the  use  of  flotation  was  difficulty  in 
treating  the  concentrate." 

(24)  "Any  lumps  of  more  or  less  [nearly]  pure  chalcocite 
were  but  superficially  altered." 

A  mining  journal  says: 

(25)  "A  particularly  striking  thing  of  the  last  Anaconda 
report  is  the  exhibit  of  that  company  as  the  great  metallurgical 
concern  that  it  is." 

The  superfluous  words  are  indicated.  The  statement  can 
be  amended  thus: 

"The  latest  Anaconda  report  exhibits  that  company  as  a 
great  metallurgical  concern  "  or 

"This  report  exhibits  the  Anaconda  as  a  great  metallurgical 
enterprise." 

Another  author  wrote  thus: 

(26)  "So  far  as  the  writer  is  aware,  the  process  has  not  been 
applied  to  any  ore  in  this  country,  but  there  can  be  no  doubt 
that  there  are  many  instances  where  it  could  be   successfully 
applied." 

This  is  a  windy  performance.     What  he  wanted  to  say  was: 
"So  far  as  I  know,  the  process  has  not  been  tried  in  this 

country,  but  there  must  be  many  ores  to  which  it  could  be 

applied  successfully." 

(27)  "Probably  flotation  is  due  to  a  combination  of  phe- 
nomena which  [that]  are  rather  high  in  the  scale  of  complexity." 

"Probably  flotation  is  due  to  a  combination  of  complex 
phenomena." 

(28)  "  From  the  standpoint  of  [according  to]  this  theory." 

(29)  "This  is  too  important  a  matter  to  be  treated  from  a 
careless  point  of  view  [carelessly]." 


144  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(30)  "From  a  genetic  point  of  view  the  genesis  of  the  coral- 
line limestone  have  [has]  been  most  carefully  studied."     Delete 
the  words  italicized. 

The  last  three  examples  are  borrowed  from  'Suggestions  to 
Authors'  by  George  M.  Wood,  the  editor  of  the  U.  S.  Geologi- 
cal Survey. 

Such  words  as  'case',  'instance',  'nature',  'degree',  'char- 
acter', and  'condition'  should  be  used  sparingly  and  with 
discrimination. 

(31)  "So  in  the  case  of  these  veins  we  have  present  a  reversal 
of  the  unusual  case  where  native  copper  turns  to  sulphide  in 
depth." 

This  statement  is  typical  of  a  kind  of  jargon  that  mas- 
querades as  ornate  speech.  He  meant  to  say: 

"Thus  these  veins  reverse  the  experience  usual  in  mining, 
namely,  the  change  from  native  copper  to  sulphide  mineral  in 
depth." 

(32)  "In  the  case  of  copper  it  is  not  advisable  to  leach  the 
ore." 

"It  is  inadvisable  to  leach  the  copper  ore." 

(33)  "The  surface  is  of  a  very  uneven  character." 
Delete  the  words  italicized. 

(34)  "The  soft  nature  [softness]  of  the  rocks." 

(35)  "The  lowlands  in  some  cases  [places]  contain  lakes,  the 
most  conspicuous  instances  being  Crystal,  Glen,  and   Portage 
lakes. 

Here  'instances'  is  an  elegant  variant  of  'cases'.  It  should 
be  deleted. 

(36)  "This  is  the  only  instance  in  the  district  of  a  copper 
mine  that  is  wholly  in  the  granite." 

"This  is  the  only  copper  mine  in  the  district  that  is  wholly 
in  the  granite."  * 

(37)  "  In  every  case  an  alteration  product  should  be  identi- 
fied with  extreme  care."     Delete  the  words  italicized. 

As  Mr.  Wood  suggests,  the  victim  of  this  habit  of  using 
'cases'  and  'instances',  or  some  other  similar  abstract  term, 


JARGON  145 

should  ask  himself  what  he  means  by  the  word.  What  is  the 
concrete  thing  about  which  he  is  writing?  He  is  likely  to 
discover  that  he  is  indulging  in  mere  verbiage. 

(38)  "The  miners  returned  to  work  in  most  instances." 
They  went  to  work  in  overalls.     He  meant:   "Most  of  the 

miners  returned  to  work." 

(39)  "Even  in  Carboniferous  areas,  only  in  one  or  two 
instances  do  the  veins  carry  ore." 

Substitute  'places'  for  'instances'.  Perhaps  he  means 
"only  one  or  two  veins  carry  ore/ 

(40)  "The  accident  was  due  to  the  dangerous  nature  of 
the  work  and  the  fissile  character  of  the  rock." 

It  was  not;  the  accident  was  due  to  the  weakening  of  .the 
rock  by  fissuring  and  the  sudden  fall  of  a  large  piece  upon  the 
miner  working  below. 

(41)  "A  singular  degree  of  mineralization  marks  the  dis- 
trict." 

Meaning  that  "intense  mineralization  characterizes  the  dis- 
trict." 

(42)  "The  auriferous  mineralization  is  distributed  through- 
out the  ore  and  consists  of  metallic  gold  and  gold  associated 
with  iron  pyrites." 

This  is  thoroughly  bad,  from  beginning  to  end.  'Minerali- 
zation' is  the  condition  of  being  mineralized;  how  can  a  condi- 
tion be  'auriferous',  that  is,  gold-bearing.  Next,  how  can 
'mineralization'  be  distributed  throughout  the  ore;  it  is  an 
abstract  idea;  he  means  gold,  thus: 

"The  gold  in  the  ore  occurs  free  and  associated  with  iron 
pyrite." 

The  word  'situation'  is  beloved  by  jargoneers;  it  is  a  type 
of  the  abstract,  of  the  general,  and  of  the  woolly. 

(43)  "To  meet  this  situation  [difficulty]  as  it  developed, 
sand-filling  [the  filling  of  stopes  with  sand]  was  introduced  in 
1908."     The  same  writer  continues: 

(44)  "  Previous  to  this  date  some  of  the  older  mines  had 
been  showing  signs  of  movement,  and  it  became  evident  that 


146  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

preparation  was  necessary  to  meet  this  tendency,  which  was  bound 
to  increase  in  intensity  as  mining  progressed." 

'Tendency*  goes  well  with  'situation';  both  are  abstract 
terms,  the  mere  fog  of  an  idea.  He  meant  to  say: 

"  Previous  to  that  year  some  of  the  older  workings  had  shown 
signs  of  movement,  so  that  it  became  evident  that  a  syste- 
matic effort  must  be  made  to  check  the  settling  of  the  ground, 
a  condition  sure  to  become  worse  as  mining  progressed." 

(45)  "He  first  went  to  Goldfield  to  examine  a  mining  situ- 
ation [mine]  and  then  located  [remained  or  resided]  there  for 
good." 

To  examine  a  situation  is  like  fighting  a  chimera. 
"He  first  went  to  Goldfield  to  report  on  a  mine,  and  decided 
to  live  there." 

(46)  "This  serious  situation  with  respect  to  dye-stuffs  has 
been  splendidly  met  by  the  chemists  of  the  country." 

"This  serious  need  of  dye-stuffs  has  been  met  splendidly 
by  the  chemists  of  the  country,"  or 

"This  serious  deficiency  in  dye-stuffs  has  been  overcome  with 
splendid  success  by  the  chemists  of  the  country." 

(47)  "The  situation  in  regard  to  fuel  is  so  alarming  as  to 
call  for  the  most  careful  consideration." 

He  means:  "The  shortage  of  fuel  at  this  time  is  so  alarming 
as  to  demand  serious  thought." 
The  same  writer  continues: 

(48)  "Our  greatest  [best]  opportunity  for  success  in  meeting 
the  fuel  situation  [escape  from  the  dilemma]  lies  in  efficient 
combustion." 

A  mining  lawyer  writes : 

(49)  "An  apex  could  not  exist  in  situations  [under  condi- 
tions] not  greatly  dissimilar  [similar]  to  those  in  the  Jim  Butler 
case." 

(50)  "The  labor  situation  is  passing  through  a  period  of 
unrest." 

' Situation '  is  a  mere  abstraction;  it  is  'labor'  that  is  un- 
restful. 


JARGON  147 

(51)  "He  took  an  option  on  an  interesting  situation  [promis- 
ing prospect]  on  Canyon  creek." 

(52)  "He  liked  the  situation  [the  mine  or  property]  and  de- 
cided to  invest  his  money  in  it." 

Probably  he  speculated  with  his  money;  to  the  unthinking 
a  'speculation'  is  synonymous  with  an  ' investment7. 

(53)  "The  easing  up  of  the  oil  situation  was  in  sight." 
"The  passing  of  the  crisis  in  the  oil  industry  was  assured." 
As  might  be  expected,  the  jargoneer  loves  such  an  abstract 

term  as  ' values'. 

(54)  "In  my  tests  made  with  a  view  of  [to]  studying  the 
form  in  which  lay  the  values  [the  gold  and  silver  exist]  in  such 
tailings  I  have  been  unable  to  detect  any  values  [precious  metals] 
in  the  tailing  from  our  ore." 

How  would  he  make  tests  to  determine  "the  form"  of  the 
gold  and  silver  until  he  had  ascertained  the  fact  that  they 
existed  in  the  tailing?  When  a  writer  makes  such  statements, 
he  is  not  to  be  trusted. 

'Problem'  is  another  word  dear  to  the  jargoneer  in  search 
of  abstractions  with  which  to  obscure  his  want  of  accurate 
knowledge. 

(55)  "One  of  our  serious  problems  is  clean  water." 

He  means:  "One  of  our  chief  hindrances  (or  handicaps)  is 
the  lack  of  clean  water." 

(56)  "The  problem  presented  by  this  difficulty  engages  the 
attention  of  metallurgists."     Delete  the  words  italicized. 

(57)  "The  water  problem  is  a  drawback  to  concentration." 
"The  large  amount  of  water  required  is  an  obstacle  to  con- 
centration." 

'Standpoint'  is  a  jargonistic  decoration. 

(58)  "The  portion  of  the  range  that  is  of  interest  from 
an  economic  standpoint  extends  due  east  and  west  about  six 
miles." 

"The  portion  of  the  range  that  is  of  economic  interest  ex- 
tends due  east  and  west  for  six  miles." 

'Eliminate'  is  another  first  cousin  to  jargon. 


148  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(59)  "The  presence  of  barite  or  gangue  will  in  most  cases 
eliminate  the  possibility  of  using  gravity  concentration." 

He  was  writing  about  oil-shale. 

"The  presence  of  barite  or  other  heavy  minerals  will  usually 
prevent  the  use  of  gravity  concentration." 

(60)  "One  company  has  succeeded  in  treating  this  shale 
in  a  small  retort,  and  is  contemplating  the  installation  of  [plan- 
ning to  erect]  a  larger  plant." 

To  'contemplate  the  installation'  is  pure  jargon. 

(61)  "The  method  has  been  employed  in  connection  with 
the  Herreshoff  furnace  installation" 

"The  method  has  been  applied  to  Herreshoff  furnaces." 

(62)  "The  problem  of  water-losses  was  taken  up  coincidently 
with  the  stack-loss  determinations."     He  is  referring  to  the 
metallurgy  of  quicksilver. 

"  The  loss  in  water  was  investigated  at  the  same  time  as 
the  loss  in  fume." 

It  is  likely  that  many  of  the  examples  quoted  by  me  will 
seem  to  you  by  no  means  bad;  in  fact,  they  represent  the  kind 
of  writing  that  is  so  common  as  hardly  to  call  for  comment  by 
those  whose  critical  faculties  have  not  been  awakened;  yet,  I 
assure  you,  the  avoidance  of  just  such  jargon  is  essential  to 
good  writing.  Jargon  defeats  its  purpose;  the  thought  fails 
to  reach  its  destination;  the  cross-currents  distract  the  tired 
reader's  attention,  they  interrupt  the  voyage  of  his  thought, 
which  drifts  with  the  flux  of  words  and  becomes  stranded  at 
length  on  a  shoal  of  verbiage.  Brevity  is  the  soul  of  wit; 
conciseness  is  the  essence  of  clarity;  every  unnecessary 
word  tends  to  obscure. 


XII.    THE  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES. 

In  order  to  write  clearly — that  is,  so  as  to  be  understood 
beyond  question — you  should  know  not  only  »what  your  words 
denote  but  how  to  build  your  sentences:  you  must  not  only 
choose  your  words  carefully  but  you  should  construct  your 
sentences  properly.  To  achieve  proper  construction,  you  must 
obey  the  laws  of  syntax,  because  the  meaning  of  clauses  and 
sentences  depends  upon  the  order  of  words.  A  sentence  is  a 
combination  of  words  that  expresses  thought :  it  says  something 
about  something.  A  clause  is  a  subordinate  sentence;  it  is 
part  of  a  larger  sentence.  The  Greeks  call  an  editor  a  awTaKTTjs 
(suntaktes),  he  who  assembles  the  parts  of  a  sentence.  Hence 
our  word  'syntax'  for  the  branch  of  grammar  that  treats  of 
the  sentence  and  its  construction.  English  is  essentially  a 
non-inflected  language;  and  in  that  respect  it  is  unlike  not  only 
Latin  and  Greek  but  its  modern  rivals,  French  and  German. 
This  lack  of  inflections,  to  indicate  the  relation  of  words, 
makes  it  supremely  necessary  that  in  English  our  words  shall 
be  placed  in  correct  order,  for  we  depend  upon  the  order  to 
indicate  the  sequence  of  thought.  Any  deviation  from  the 
logical  sequence  may  endanger  the  meaning;  for  example: 

When  spies  were  feared  in  England  at  the  beginning  of  the 
War  a  local  paper  stated:  • 

(1)  "The  authorities  are  now  looking  for  a  gray  motor- 
car driven  by  a  woman  who  is  thought  to  have  a  wireless  appara- 
tus inside." 

A  technical  journal  announced: 

(2)  "We  publish  an  article  on  errors  latent  in  the  sampling 
of  mines  by  Mr.  Blank."     The  mention  of  the  author  should 
have  followed  "article". 

(3)  "He  blew  out  his  brains  after  bidding  his  wife  good-bye 
with  a  shotgun." 

149 


150  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

(4)  "Mrs.  Smith  was  killed  on  Wednesday  morning  while 
cooking  her  husband's  breakfast  in  a  shocking  manner." 

(5)  "The  owner  of  this  property  fishes  and  shoots  himself." 

(6)  "The  concentrating  table  was  covered  by  the  foreman, 
with  a  new  face  of  rubber." 

(7)  "The  samples  were  preserved  for  analysis  in  a  paraffin- 
sealed  flask." 

(8)  "Care  should  be  taken  to  see  whether  such  wells  are 
contaminated  by  frequent  analyses." 

The  foregoing  examples  of  incoherence  break  the  rule 
that  "the  relation  of  each  word  and  each  clause  to  the  context 
should  be  unmistakable."  Another  rule  says:  "Clauses  that 
are  grammatically  connected  should  be  kept  as  close  together 
as  possible."  As  a  further  warning  I  quote  the  following: 

(9)  "The  expedition,  which  left  Fairbanks  March  13,  ex- 
pected to  reach  the  summit  of  Mt.  McKinley  early  in  May, 
but  was  delayed  three  weeks  cutting  a  passage  three  miles  long 
through  ice  with  hand-axes  thrown  across  the  ridge  by  an 
earthquake  last  summer." 

That  must  have  been  a  weird  earthquake!  it  threw  hand- 
axes  across  a  ridge!  Even  if  you  place  "with  hand-axes" 
after  "passage"  you  find  yourself  saying  that  the  hand-axes 
were  "three  miles  long".  Note  the  slovenliness  of  style:  the 
omission  of  'on'  before  "March  13,"  of  'while'  before  "cutting", 
and  of  'it'  before  "was  delayed".  The  statement  can  be 
amended  thus: 

"The  expedition  .  .  .  was  delayed  three  weeks  by  having 
to  cut  with  hand-axes  a  passage  three  miles  long  through  ice, 
which  had  fallen  across  a  ridge  in  consequence  of  an  earth- 
quake last  summer." 

Place  clauses  in  their  logical  order;  the  inversion  of  ideas 
is  confusing. 

(10)  "Combined   with    geological    ability    of   an   unusual 
degree,  he  was  an  all-around  engineer." 

No  sensible  man  talks  in  this  way;  the  phrasing  is  stilted 
and  obscure.  It  is  better  to  say: 


THE  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES  151 

"He  was  not  only  an  all-around  engineer,  but  also  an  ex- 
cellent geologist." 

(11)  "Due  to  the  richness  of  the  new  orebody  on  the 
tenth  level,  the  mine  has  paid  dividends."     He  means  that: 

"The  mine  has  been  able  to  pay  dividends,  thanks  to 
the  richness  of  the  new  orebody  on  the  tenth  level.  " 

(12)  "Compared  with  what  I  had  seen  in  Nevada,  Rho- 
desia is  a  poor  goldfield."     This  may  be  changed  to: 

"I  would  consider  Rhodesia  a  poor  goldfield,  as  compared 
with  Nevada." 

Take  care  that  your  demonstrative  pronouns  are  made 
to  refer  to  the  right  thing. 

(13)  "A  number  of  mines  have  adopted  the  use  of  cars  to 
take  the  place  of  'cans'.     These  hold  from  1500  to  2000  Ib. 
apiece." 

The  second  sentence  refers  to  the  ' cars',  not  the  'cans'. 

"A  number  of  mines  have  substituted  cars  for  cans.  Each 
car  holds  from  1500  to  2000  Ib."  or 

"  In  a  number  of  mines  the  l  cans '  have  been  replaced  by 
cars,  each  holding  from  1500  to  2000  Ib. 

(14)  "Because  a  process  is  cheap  does  not  prove  it  desir- 
able." 

(15)  "It  is  because  he  was  a  scientific  man  that  he  insisted 
upon  research." 

In  these  two  examples  the  causal  clause  is  made  substantive, 
thereby  producing  an  awkward  inversion.  It  would  be  better 
to  write: 

"A  process  is  not  desirable  merely  because  it  is  cheap." 

"He  insisted  upon  research  because  he  was  a  scientific 
man." 

Kelley  says:  *  "It  should  be  insisted  on  again  and  again 
that  if  two  forms  of  expression  are  both  open  to  criticism,  the 
chances  are  very  large  that  something  else  could  be  better  than 
either.  Begin  anew,  and  hammer  out  for  yourself  a  sentence  to 
which  you  can  think  of  no  reasonable  objection.  So  a  young 
*  James  P,  Kelley,  'Workmanship  in  Words'. 


152  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

writer  learns  his  trade,  and  so  a  veteran  keeps  his  style  fresh 
and  clean." 

I  should  delete  'on'  after  'insisted';  also  the  'very'  before 
'large';  again,  I  should  avoid  the  preposition-verb  'think  of 
and  say  "a  sentence  to  which  you  can  see  no  reasonable  objec- 
tion". However,  the  advice  is  admirable. 

Do  not  compare  things  with  qualities,  the  concrete  with  the 
abstract.  Correspondence  in  form  promotes  lucidity  and  ease 
of  statement. 

(16)  "He  saw  these  issues  more  clearly  than  any  [other] 
man." 

(17)  "No  other  man  in   the  country  has   done   more  to 
advance  the  study  of  economic  geology." 

In  the  first  quotation  the  'other'  is  needed;  in  the  second, 
it  is  out  of  place. 

An  intelligent  interest  in  the  rules  of  composition  need 
not  stiffen  the  writer's  manner,  nor  make  him  pedantic. 

Connectives  should  be  placed  carefully,  and  when  used 
in  couples  they  must  correspond. 

BOTH,  AND; 

(18)  "I  went  both  because  I  feared  and  because  I  hoped." 
EITHER,  OR; 

(19)  "The    division    of   profits    made    by  either   govern- 
ments, banks  or  industries." 

Delete  'either'  and  insert  a  comma  aftei  'banks'. 
NOT  ONLY,  BUT  ALSO; 

(20)  "This  was  not  only  according  to  law,  but  also  accord- 
ing to  justice." 

ON  THE  ONE  HAND,  ON  THE  OTHER  HAND; 
NEITHER  HERE  NOR  THERE. 

(21)  Either  in  the  city  or  in  the  country. 
Do  not  omit  to  repeat  the  preposition. 

(22)  "Poets  are  either  born  in  London  or  remote  country 
places." 

The  'either'  is  misplaced  and  'in 
mote'. 


THE  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES  153 

"Poets  are  born  either  in  London  or  in  remote  country 
places." 

NEITHER,  NOR; 

(23)  "I  looked  neither  forward  or  back." 
This  likewise  contains  an  error. 

"  I  looked  neither  forward  nor  back." 

These  seem  small  matters  to  the  slovenly  writer,  but  they 
are  of  the  essence  of  clear  writing.  As  Kelley  says: 

"No  great  difference?  There  is  no  great  difference  between 
lifting  two  pounds  and  lifting  one  pound ;  but  I  will  not  have 
my  shoes  weighted  with  lead.  In  the  single  and  simple  case, 
no  great  difference;  but  construct  a  complicated  sentence  in 
defiance  of  the  laws  of  thought,  or  a  long  discourse  with  con- 
stant disregard  of  what  is  normal  in  structure  and  formally 
clear,  and  the  reader  will  be  wearied  and  repelled  unless  your 
work  is  in  other  respects  so  good  as  to  please  him  in  spite  of  your 
slovenliness — and  even  if  you  please  him,  very  likely  you  will 
have  failed  to  make  him  understand  you,  and  thereby  to 
persuade  or  convince  or  instruct  him  as  you  would  wish  to  do." 

Young  writers  drift  easily  into  long  sentences,  entan- 
gling their  ideas  in  a  wilderness  of  words.  They  shun  the 
short  sentence,  preferring  to  link  one  thought  to  another 
by  the  aid  of  many  Bands',  as  an  after-dinner  speaker  ekes 
out  his  lame  remarks  with  a  frequent  'urr'  or  'err'.  To  err 
is  human,  to  forgive  divine;  but  it  is  hard  to  condone  the 
unnecessary  'and'.  Don't  be  afraid  of  short  sentences  or  of 
using  the  period. 

(24)  "  This  quality  of  diffusion  indicates  molecular  mobility; 
and  a  good  example  of  this  is  furnished  by  etc." 

"This  quality  of  diffusion  indicates  molecular  mobility, 
,a  good  example  of  which  is  furnished  by  etc." 

(25)  "The  methods  employed  in  the  underground  work 
vary  with  the  nature  of  the  ore  deposits  and  have  been  de- 
veloped to  suit  the  local  conditions  encountered  in  the  various 
mines." 

Thig  is  verbose  and  confused. 


154  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"Mining  methods  have  been  developed  to  suit  local  con- 
ditions, as  modified  by  the  varying  structure  of  the  ore  deposits." 

(26)  "At  the  Zaaiplaats  tin  mine  the  cassiterite  has  mainly 
occurred  in  the  Red  granite;  and,  the  author  particularly  notices 
that  the  color  of  granite  round  the  pipes  was  often  of  a  much 
deeper  red;    and,  that  a  great  deal  of  tourmalinization  had 
taken  place." 

This  requires  several  corrections:  "At  the  Zaaiplaats 
tin  mine,  the  cassiterite  is  found  chiefly  in  the  Red  granite. 
The  color  of  this  granite  is  deeper  in  places  around  the  pipes 
[ore-chimneys],  where  also  tourmalinization  is  marked." 

Such  sentences  are  written  by  men  that  cannot  claim  lack 
of  experience  in  writing.  Here  is  a  shocking  example  from  the 
' Tunes ',  of  London: 

(27)  "The  cities  we  remember  from  childhood,  un visited 
since,  grow  in  our  minds  and  become  glorious  and  visionary. 
The  memory  itself  is  only  a  material  which  the  mind  uses,  as 
in  dreams  it  uses  some  fact  of  waking  hours.     There  was  a 
bridge,  perhaps  a  mean  iron  bridge,  and  a  few  trees,  and  some 
decent  houses  beyond  it.    But  all  the  mean  details  are   for- 
gotten, and  the  scale  is  so  altered  that  the  bridge  seems  to  have 
spanned  a  deep  valley  with  great  arches,  and  to  have  been  a 
causeway  leading  into  a  city  of  palaces  and  overshadowing 
trees.    And  along  the  causeway  crowds  were  drawn  into  the 
city  and  traffic  coming  from  a  great  distance,  as  if  to  a  festival. 
And  there  is  a  memory  also  of  the  sky  itself  as  momentous — 
towering  clouds   flushed  with   the  sunset,  and  the   causeway 
shining  after  rain,  and  all  the  people  in  the  streets  enjoying 
the  beautiful  hours,  with  music  [that  was  really  a  German 
band]  adding  a  glory  of  sound  to  the  glory  of  light  and  form 
and  movement." 

The  excessive  use  of  'and'  spoils  an  excellent  piece  of 
writing. 

'And'  is  used  as  a  feeble  continuative  by  writers  uncer- 
tain of  the  relation  between  their  ideas. 

(28)  "Jackson    went    and    examined    the    pump."     That 


THE  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES  155 

might  be  true;  he  might  have  gone  toward  the  pump  and 
then  incidentally  he  might  have  examined  it;  but  what  the 
writer  really  meant  was: 

"Jackson  went  to  examine  the  pump." 

(29)  "  He  told  him  to  be  sure  and  [to]  attend  to  this  matter." 

(30)  "  When  costs  in  California  and  Europe  were  compared — 
$75  here  and  [as  against]  Spanish  mercury  imported   at  $40 
per  flask — it  became  evident  that  an  import  duty  was  desirable." 

(31)  "It  is  sometimes  [may  be]  found  that  the  screening 
from  one  lot  of  ore  is  sufficiently  rich  to  be  shipped  with  the 
selected  ore  and  [whereas]  that  from  the  next  lot  will  be  too 
poor." 

(32)  "Practically  all  the  belts  are  30  in.  wide,  7-ply,  and 
have  Y&  m-  rubber  cover  on  the  carrying  side,  and  y£  in.  on 
the  pulley  side." 

We  see  what  he  means,  but  it  can  be  said  more  clearly: 
"The  belts  are  7-ply  and  30  in.  wide;   they  have  a  ^  in. 

cover  of  rubber  on  the  carrying  side  and  Y&  in.  on  the  pulley 

side." 

(33)  "The  mining  world  is  indebted  to  the  initiative  of 
John  Wiley  &  Sons  for  meeting   so   great  a  want,  and  they 
have  been  fortunate  in  securing  the  services  of  Mr.  Peele  as 
the  guiding  spirit  to  translate  the  conception  into  achievement." 

Here  the  'and'  is  introduced  to  correct  a  badly  organized 
statement.  When  re-written  it  reads  thus: 

"John  Wiley  &  Sons  have  placed  the  mining  world  under 
obligation  by  their  initiative  in  meeting  so  great  a  want,  and 
they  have  been  fortunate  in  securing,  etc." 

(34)  "Wet  methods  of  treating  the  concentrate  were  not 
at  all  satisfactory,  as  there  was  a  large  amount  of  black  residue 
in  the  concentrate  that  could  not  be  decomposed  by  sulphuric 
acid  and  ferrous  sulphate,  and  which  carried  high  silver  values." 

If  ' which'  is  replaced  by  'that',  the  last  clause  would  refer 
back  to  'residue',  but  the  chief  fault  lies  in  tying  an  important 
assertion  to  the  end  of  the  opening  statement  by  means  of  the 
'and'.  He  means: 


156  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"Wet  methods  of  treating  the  concentrate  proved  unsatis- 
factory because  it  contained  a  large  proportion  of  black  resi- 
due, rich  in  silver,  that  could  not  be  decomposed  by  sulphuric 
acid  and  ferrous  sulphate." 

(35)  "It  is  obvious  that  the  calculations  can  be  shortened 
when  one  set  of  apparatus  and  conditions  are  used  continu- 
ously for  analyses." 

He  is  connecting  unlike  ideas  in  a  confusing  manner. 

"It  is  obvious  that  the  calculations  can  be  simplified  by 
using  the  same  apparatus  under  identical  conditions  during  a 
series  of  analyses." 

Sentences  without  logical  connection  should  not  be  linked 
by  a  feeble  'and'.  The  reason  for  the  connection  should  be 
made  clear  by  using  the  proper  connective  or  by  inserting  an 
explanatory  clause. 

(36)  "For  the  retorting  of  lean  shale,  the  Scottish  retort 
gives  fairly  satisfactory  results,  but  it  is  by  no  means  perfect, 
and  [although]  it  has  been  claimed  that  it  is  possible  to  so  [so  to] 
improve  the  retort  as  to  make  it  less  costly  both  to  construct 
and  to  operate." 

(37)  "It  is  certainly  not  wise  to  construct  small  plants 
which  are  to  be  operated  to  recover  both  oil  and  nitrogen 
contents,  and  it  will  be  especially  poor  business  should  it  be 
also  necessary  to  manufacture  the  acid  required  for  the  pro- 
duction of  ammonium  sulphate."     I  suggest: 

"Certainly  it  is  not  wise  to  erect  small  plants  that  are 
to  be  operated  to  recover  both  the  oil  and  the  nitrogen  con- 
tents, more  particularly  in  a  locality  where  it  becomes  neces- 
sary also  to  make  the  acid  required  in  the  production  of 
ammonium  sulphate." 

Adjectives  should  follow  each  other  in  the  order  of  thought. 

(38)  "The  orebodies  are  easily  mined  and  large." 

The  'easy  mining'  is  a  consequence  of  'largeness',  and 
that  is  the  order  in  which  the  adjectives  should  be  given. 

(39)  "The  ore  is  subjected  to  costly  and  prolonged  treat- 
ment." 


THE  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES  157 

The  idea  of  costliness  follows  upon  the  prolongation  of  the 
treatment. 

Such  inversion  of  adjectives  is  tiresome  to  the  reader  and 
detracts  from  the  force  of  the  statement. 

Place  subordinate  words  in  less  emphatic  positions,  leaving 
the  important  words  where  they  are  clear  and  disentangled 
from  other  words  that  clog  them.  Avoid  emphasis  on  words 
that  do  not  "deserve  distinction."  Monosyllables  usually 
make  a  feeble  ending  for  a  sentence.  Lord  Shaftesbury,  in 
his  'Advice  to  an  Author',  says:  "If,  whilst  they  [writers] 
profess  only  to  please,  they  secretly  advise,  and  give  in- 
struction, they  may  now,  perhaps,  as  well  as  formerly,  be 
esteemed,  with  justice,  the  best  and  most  honorable  among 
authors." 

That  is  a  complex  sentence  so  well  arranged  as  to  be  per- 
fectly clear. 

Adverbs  are  commonly  misplaced.  Put  the  modifying 
word  as  near  as  possible  to  the  word  that  it  modifies.  "The 
ore  should  properly  be  dried'7  does  not  mean  that  "the  ore 
should  be  dried  properly".  The  first  refers  to  the  need  of  a 
particular  operation,  the  other  to  the  need  of  conducting  the 
operation  in  a  particular  way.  "The  words  and  groups  of 
words  that  are  near  to  one  another  in  thought  should  be  near 
in  expression,  and  those  that  are  separate  in  thought  should  be 
separate  in  expression."  * 

(40)  "Such  errors  are  frequent  in  the  writings  even  of  good 
authors." 

The  "even"  should  follow  "frequent". 

'  Only '  and  '  always '  are  commonly  misplaced. 

(41)  "His    exordium   would   have    been    admirable   if   he 
only  had    spoken;    but   Mr.   Asquith's    significant   reference 
to  future  relations  aroused  speculation  instead  of  stilling  it." 
' New  Republic'. 

'  Only '  should  precede  '  he ' ;  the  writer  means  that  it  would 
have  been  better  for  the  purpose  if  Mr.  Lloyd  George  had 
*  A.  S.  Ifcll. 


158  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

been  the  only  speaker.    As  it  is,  the  sentence  expresses  the  wish 
that  he  had  spoken. 

(42)  "The    internal-combustion    engine    has    been    intro- 
duced on  a  large  scale  in  refrigerating  plants  only  in  the  last 
three  years."    This  is  correct,  but  it  would  be  clearer  if  the 
'only'  came  after  'years';    the  statement  might  be  taken  to 
mean  "in  refrigerating  plants  only". 

(43)  "It  is  necessary  to  always  roast  the  ore  before  chlorin- 
ation"  and  "It  is  necessary  to  roast  the  ore  always  before 
chlorination "  are  both  objectionable.     In  the  first,  'always' 
splits  the  infinitive;  in  the  second,  it  qualifies  the  wrong  word. 
The  sentence  should  read: 

"Before  chlorination,  it  is  necessary  always  to  roast  the 
ore."  This  introduces  'chlorination'  ahead  of  'roasting'  and 
is  preferable  to  "It  is  necessary  always  to  roast  the  oreHDefore 
chlorination,"  because  the  necessity  for  roasting  arises  from  the 
use  of  chlorination;  therefore  the  ideas  should  be  expressed 
in  that  order.  As  a  grammarian  would  say,  "Before  chlorina- 
tion" is  the  antecedent  clause,  and  "it  is  necessary,  etc."  is 
the  consequent  clause. 

Do  not  bring  two  verbs,  belonging  to  different  sentences, 
into  close  contact,  as  in  the  following  quotation  from  the 
'New  Republic': 

(44)  "What  the  more  serious  evils  of  that  policy  are  was 
revealed  by  the  election." 

It  were  better  to  have  written: 

"The  more  serious  evils  of  that  policy  were  revealed  by  the 
election." 

I  shall  not  castigate  the  split  infinitive;  the  use  or  non- 
use  of  it  is  a  matter  of  taste.  You  should  try  not  only  to 
avoid  splitting  the  infinitive  but  to  keep  your  verbs  intact. 
Thus  do  not  say  "The  ore  has  never  been  so  cheaply  milled" 
but  "The  ore  never  has  been  milled  so  cheaply."  In  the  first 
the  verb  "has  been  milled"  is  dismembered  into  three  parts  by 
the  intrusion  of  the  adverbs. 

The  split  infinitive,  however,  is  more  than  a  breach  of 


THE  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES  159 

good  taste,  despite  the  sanction  of  usage  as  cited  by  an  eminent 
critic.*  It  suspends  the  sense.  A  similar  error  is  that  of 
interpolating  words  between  the  definite  article  and  the  noun, 
as  in  "the  already  deep  shaft  has  been  sunk  another  hundred 
feet."  Those  who  write  thus  are  also  likely  to  say: 

(45)  "We  today  find  nothing  peculiar  in  this." 

The  emphasis  is  on  'today',  which  therefore  should  come 
first,  instead  of  separating  'we'  from  'find'.  It  is  curious 
that  such  splittings,  of  the  infinitive  and  of  other  verb  phrases, 
are  usually  employed  for  emphasis,  which  can  be  obtained  much 
better  by  other  locutions.  Such  suspensions  are  "  ugly  in  form 
as  they  are  awkward  in  sense."  f 

Here  is  one  from  the  '  New  Republic ' : 

(46)  "Our  men  of  wealth  have  accepted  profits  and  income 
taxation  with  a  better  grace  than  those  of  any  European  nation, 
with  the  exception  of  England." 

The  reader  wonders  why  it  is  necessary  to  say  that  rich 
men  have  accepted  "profits  and  income",  and  is  jarred  by  the 
statement,  before  he  reached  the  word  'taxation'.  The  quo- 
tation is  an  example  of  sloppy  writing.  'Rich  men'  is  better 
than  "men  of  wealth";  'except'  is  better  than  "with  the  ex- 
ception of".  The  writer  wallows  in  indirect  reporter-like 
phraseology.  He  might  have  written: 

"Our  rich  men  have  accepted  the  taxation  of  their  profits 
and  incomes  with  better  grace  than  those  in  Europe,  except 
the  English." 

Similar  suspensions  are  common  in  technical  writing. 

(47)  "As  between  fine  and  coarse  ore  crushing,  he  recom- 
mended  the   Gilpin   county  type   of   deep-mortar  long-drop 
stamps." 

Here  the  interposition  of  "fine  and  coarse  ore"  suspends 
the  sense  until  "crushing"  is  reached;  similarly  a  long  adjec- 
tival phrase  intervenes  between  "recommended"  and  "stamps". 

"As  between   crushing  fine   or   coarse,   he  recommended 

*  Lounsbury. 

f  Allbutt.    Op.  cit.     Page  82. 


160  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

stamps  of  the  Gilpin  county  type,  that  is,  a  deep  mortar  and 
a  long  drop." 

(48)  "In  the  hard  ground  at  Miami  it  is  advisable  to  use 
a  wide  shrinkage  slope  and  pillar  system." 

Here  the  five  words  preceding  " system"  are  used  as  an 
adjective,  suspending  the  sense  too  long.  It  would  be  better 
to  write  " system  of  wide  shrinkage-stopes  and  pillars". 

(49)  "In  sending  in  orders  it  was  very  necessary  to  give 
full  shipping  and  marking  directions." 

'In'  and  'very'  are  redundant.  The  four  words  preceding 
'directions'  are  an  adjectival  jumble.  He  might  have  written: 

"In  sending  an  order  it  was  necessary  to  give  full  direc- 
tions for  shipping  and  marking." 

Directness  of  statement  is  an  aid  to  clearness.  As  Horn 
Tooke  said:  "The  first  aim  of  language  is  to  communicate 
our  thoughts;  the  second,  to  do  so  with  dispatch." 

(50)  "So  the  new  order  strikes  at  the  root  of  much  of 
the  difficulty  that  has  disturbed  the  industrial  world  since 
the  War  began  by  applying  only  to  the  unskilled." 

The  clause  italicized  should  come  after  'order',  which 
it  explains. 

(51)  "It  might  have  been  appropriate  to  have  developed 
[provided  that]  these  particular  resources  of  manganese  and 
platinum,  so  forcibly  cited  as  an  argument  for  shoving  the 
Bill  through  the  Senate,  [should  be  developed]  under  the  direct 
control  and  management  of  a  Government  bureau  for  the 
pecuniary  benefit  of  the  actual  owners  in  law  and  equity." 

Here  the  principal  word  '  developed '  has  been  misplaced,  so 
as  to  mar  the  directness  of  statement. 

(52)  "What  is  regarded  as  a  significant  fact  is  that  as  yet 
the  President  has  not  yet  officially  announced  the  re-establish- 
ment of  the  present  price  as  effective  from  June  1  to  August  15, 
although  the  War  Industries  Board  has  so  recommended." 

It  was  the  disregarding  of  the  recommendation  by  the 
Board  that  was  the  significant  fact,  therefore  the  statement 
should  be  re-arranged  thus: 


THE  CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES  161 

"It  is  significant  that  the  President,  notwithstanding  the 
recommendation  of  the  War  Industries  Board,  has  not  yet 
announced  the  official  re-establishment  of  the  present  price 
effective  from  June  1  to  August  15." 

(53)  "An  applicant  had  to  file  a  copy  of  these  regulations, 
to  show  that  they  had  been  complied  with." 

He  means:   "to  show  that  he  had  complied  with  them." 

(54)  "Before  a  hole   drilled  in  the  manner  described  is 
blasted,  the  hole  is  sprung  by  exploding  in  the  bottom  of  the 
hole  several  charges  of  dynamite." 

The  clause  "drilled  in  the  manner  described"  is  inter- 
jected awkwardly;  it  is  superfluous.  The  statement  can  then 
be  corrected  thus: 

"Before  the  hole  is  blasted,  it  is  ' sprung'  by  exploding 
several  charges  of  dynamite  in  the  bottom." 

'Sprung'  is  treated  as  an  unfamiliar  term  and  is  explained 
by  the  last  clause;  therefore  the  single  quotation-marks  are 
desirable. 

(55)  "After  a  hole  has  been  chambered  sufficiently,  the 
amount  of  which  depends  on  the  depth  of  the  hole,  the  hard- 
ness and  the  tenacity  and  the  volume  of  the  rock  to  be  broken, 
the  hole  is  loaded  for  the  final  blast." 

This  statement  contains  several  unnecessary  inversions. 
The  comma  after  the  second  'hole'  is  not  followed  by  a  second 
comma  after  'hardness',  so  that  the  continuity  of  the  state- 
ment is  broken.  He  might  have  written: 

"The  hole  is  loaded  for  the  blast  after  it  has  been  chambered 
sufficiently,  this  depending  upon  the  depth  of  the  hole,  as  well 
as  upon  the  hardness,  tenacity,  and  volume  of  the  rock  to  be 
broken." 

You  will  find  it  advantageous  to  place  sundry  adverbs, 
especially  those  of  time  or  place,  either  at  the  end  or  at  the 
beginning  of  a  clause,  gaining  emphasis  thereby.  Thus: 

(56)  "Lately  the  ore  has  been  crushed  to  100-mesh"  or 
"The  ore  has  been  crushed  to  100-mesh  lately." 

The  first  is  preferable;  either  is  better  than 


162  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"The  ore  has  lately  been  crushed  to  100-mesh." 
(57)  "The  vein  is  frequently  faulted  along  the  upper  level." 
Here  the  idea  to  be  expressed  is  the  repetition  of  faulting 
particularly  on  the  upper  level,  therefore  re-arrange  thus: 
"Along  the  upper  level,  the  vein  is  faulted  frequently." 
So  the  most  significant  words  are  placed  in  the  most  promi- 
nent positions,  at  the  beginning  and  at  the  end  of  the  sentence. 
' Along  the  upper  level'  and  ' frequently'  are  emphasized.     But 
'frequently'  carries  the   idea   of  time;    substitute  'at  many 
places'. 

Aim  at  correct  emphasis,  but  do  not  carry  the  effort  to 
the    extent    of    cultivating    a    mannerism.     My    purpose,    in 
analyzing  the  foregoing  examples,  is  to  suggest  the  undesir- 
ability  of  separating  the  parts  of  a  verb  by  an  adverb  or  an 
adverbial  clause.     It  has  become  common  to  say: 
"It  certainly  is" 
"It  sure  did" 

and  it  is  just  such  vulgarisms  that  mislead  the  student  into 
illiteracies  from  which  he  finds  it  difficult  to  escape. 

The  habitual  use  of  slang,  including  a  decorative  kind 
of  profanity,  is  detrimental  to  the  acquirement  of  skill  in  the 
correct  expression  of  ideas.  Slang  beggars  the  vocabulary; 
profanity  ignores  it.  The  word  'damned'  has  to  stand  for  a 
host  of  adjectives  and  things  'go  to  hell'  in  a  thousand  ways. 


XIII.    COMPOSITION. 

Do  not  write  until  you  have  something  to  say.  Think 
first;  then  write.  In  order  to  be  understood,  you  must  know 
what  you  wish  to  say.  Clear  writing  is  the  consequence  of  clear 
thinking.  Therefore  consider  your  subject  well  before  you 
begin  to  write;  ruminate  on  it;  marshal  the  salient  facts  in 
your  mind;  saturate  yourself  with  the  ideas  you  wish  to  express 
and  with  cognate  ideas;  then  express  yourself  deliberately. 
If  you  are  bubbling  over  with  your  subject  the  words  will 
come,  but  you  might  as  well  expect  to  sail  without  a  breeze 
as  hope  to  give  life  to  words  without  the  living  thought. 

Endeavor  to  visualize  the  things  to  be  described;  consider 
their  relations  to  one  another;  let  your  mind  dwell  upon  the 
particular  phase  of  their  relationship  that  is  to  be  the  subject 
of  your  writing.  Then  prepare  an  outline  of  the  argument 
or  of  the  successive  stages  of  the  description.  Begin  the  writing 
with  a  general  statement  of  the  subject  to  be  discussed.  Try 
to  strike  a  clear  note;  do  your  tuning  where  it  will  not  annoy 
the  reader.  After  making  the  general  statement,  proceed  to 
details.  Make  them  vivid;  keep  them  distinct.  Then  draw 
your  inferences  and  play  upon  them  until  they  lead  naturally 
to  a  definite  conclusion,  which  should  embody  the  purpose  and 
purport  of  what  you  have  written. 

Before  beginning  to  put  your  ideas  in  writing,  charge  your 
memory  with  the  words,  technical  terms,  and  phrases  that  will 
furnish  the  means  for  effective  expression.  To  acquire  an 
adequate  vocabulary,  read  what  others,  preferably  good 
authors,  have  written  on  the  subject  or  on  a  kindred  subject. 
An  artist  is  not  expected  to  utter  the  message  in  his  soul  until 
he  has  mastered  the  technique  of  his  instrument,  neither  can 
a  writer  be  expected  to  express  thought  fluently  and  pleas- 
antly without  acquiring  the  technique  of  language. 

163 


164  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

Let  Macaulay  be  your  model.  Professor  Hill  says  of  him: 
"What  he  saw  at  all  he  saw  distinctly;  what  he  believed  he 
believed  with  his  whole  strength;  he  wrote  on  subjects  with 
which  he  had  long  been  familiar;  and  he  made  lucidity  his 
primary  object  in  composition.  For  him,  in  short,  there  was 
no  difficulty  in  securing  clearness  except  that  which  is  inherent 
in  the  nature  of  language.  This  difficulty  he  overcame  with 
unusual  success,  as  all  his  critics  admit,  and  one  of  the  severest 
of  them,  John  Morley,  says  that  he  '  never  wrote  an  obscure 
sentence  in  his  life'." 

Sentences  are  said  to  be  of  two  kinds,  the  periodic  and  the 
loose;  but  this  dictum  serves  only  to  illustrate  the  fallacy  of 
dichotomous  division,  even  though  it  have  the  authority  of 
all  the  rhetorics  to  back  it.  The  foregoing  statement  was 
constructed  as  an  example  of  the  so-called  'loose'  composition, 
because  the  sense  is  not  sustained  unbroken  to  the  end;  it 
could  have  ended  at  an  earlier  pause.  A  periodic  sentence  is  a 
product  of  the  art  of  neatly  packing  the  items  that  it  is  to  carry 
in  such  a  way  as  to  leave  no  loose  ends.  The  foregoing  sen- 
tence is  l periodic' — that  is,  it  ends  with  the  completion  of  its 
period.  However,  the  terms  l  periodic '  and  '  loose '  are  generally 
applied  to  longer  and  more  complex  sentences.  All  good  sen- 
tences should  show  a  careful  ordering  of  their  parts  with  a  view 
to  effective  expression.  To  follow  persistently  one  form  of 
construction  savors  of  affectation.  Both  forms  have  their  charm 
when  used  by  a  master;  both  are  used  variously  by  every 
author.  Model  your  style  on  Macaulay  rather  than  on  Merer 
dith,  on  Emerson  rather  than  on  Henry  James. 

Short  sentences  are  easier  to  write  and  easier  to  under- 
stand than  long  ones.  "  The  longer  the  sentence  the  more  ardu- 
ous its  architecture."  *  The  long  sentence  is  difficult  to  manage, 
but  it  enables  the  writer  to  assemble  a  group  of  related  ideas 
into  a  coherent  whole  and  to  make  a  complete  unbroken  im- 
pression. Variation  in  the  length  of  sentences  is  essential  to 
an  agreeable  style.  Avoid  an  excess  of  short  asthmatic  sen- 

*  Allbutt. 


COMPOSITION  165 

tences;  avoid  also  long  sentences  that  are  packed  with  a  mass 
of  unsorted  and  unrelated  ideas. 

A  paragraph  should  be  devoted  to  one  main  idea,  and  it 
should  either  begin  by  introducing  the  idea  that  it  is  intended  to 
develop  or  its  beginning  should  suggest  the  direction  in  which 
the  thought  is  to  move.  Here  again  Macaulay  is  a  good  ex- 
emplar; so  is  Ruskin.  The  end  of  the  paragraph,  or  the  last 
sentence,  should  complete  the  preceding  thought  and  bring  it 
to  a  definite  conclusion.  The  thoughts  expressed  in  the  in- 
termediate sentences,  not  too  insistently,  linked  by  well- 
chosen  connectives,  should  pass  by  easy  transition  through 
successive  steps  in  the  climax  to  the  conclusion.  "In  Shake- 
speare one  sentence  begets  the  next  naturally;  the  meaning  is 
all  inwoven.  He  goes  on  kindling  like  a  meteor  through  the 
dark  atmosphere."  * 

Technical  writing  is  devoted  largely  to  description  and 
exposition.  "  Good  arrangement  is  at  least  one-half  exposition. 
Order  is  often  equivalent  to  explanation."  In  describing  a 
machine  it  is  advisable  to  consider  the  parts  in  logical  order, 
that  is,  in  the  order  in  which  they  are  set  in  motion.  In 
describing  a  mill  the  description  should  follow  the  flow-sheet. 
In  explaining  the  origin  of  an  ore  deposit  the  physical  processes 
and  geologic  movements  supposed  to  have  been  at  work  in 
the  making  of  it  should  be  discussed  in  the  sequence  of  their 
natural  operation. 

Comparison  is  indispensable  in  technical  description. 
By  references  to  similar  things  the  reader  is  helped  to  under- 
stand the  thing  described.  An  ore  deposit  is  elucidated  by 
mentioning  its  points  of  similarity  and  dissimilarity  as  com- 
pared with  other  deposits  likely  to  be  known  to  the  reader. 
Machines  and  processes  are  made  intelligible  by  comparing 
them  with  those  with  which  the  reader  and  the  writer  are 
both  familiar.  Facts  by  themselves  have  little  meaning;  it 
is  in  their  relation  to  other  facts  that  we  find  their  true  sig- 
nificance. 

*  Coleridge.     'Table  Talk'. 


166  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

The  poor  quality  of  much  of  the  technical  writing  of  today 
is  due,  I  believe,  to  the  intervention  of  the  stenographer. 
Dictation  tends  to  develop  diffuseness  and  repetition.  Many 
find  it  easier  to  use  the  mouth  in  talking  than  the  hand  in 
writing.  That  is  why  the  average  dictated  letter,  unless  it 
be  edited  and  re-written,  is  verbose.  An  author  who  uses  pen 
or  pencil  can  see  what  has  gone  before  and  can  compose  with  a 
consecutiveness  that  is  conspicuously  absent  in  a  dictated 
composition.  Technical  men  accustomed  to  dictating  their 
correspondence  find  it  difficult  to  write  an  article  in  long- 
hand; so  they  dictate  the  article  also;  and  the  consequence 
is  that  the  article  resembles  the  dictated  letter  in  failing  to  be 
closely  knit,  clear,  or  logical.  Henry  James  is  said  to  have 
dictated  his  later  writings,  and  this  may  account  in  part  for 
their  involved  style.  My  own  practice  is  to  write  with  a 
soft  pencil  on  paper  that  is  not  too  smooth.  The  dipping  of  a 
pen  into  the  ink  introduces  an  artificial  interruption — annoying 
if  it  comes  in  the  middle  of  a  sentence.  Besides,  the  point  of 
the  pen  being  hard,  the  fingers  soon  tire.  The  penciled  manu- 
script is  given  to  a  typist,  and  the  clean  typewritten  copy  is 
then  revised  carefully  before  it  goes  to  the  composing-room. 
The  first  draft,  the  typewritten  copy,  the  printer's  proof,  each, 
in  turn,  represents  a  stage  of  increasing  dignity  in  the  develop- 
ment of  an  article.  The  earlier  a  correction  is  made  the  better. 
In  former  days  many  of  the  minor  corrections,  of  spelling  and 
punctuation,  even  of  grammar,  were  made  in  the  composing- 
room  or  the  printing-office.  The  real  editors  were  the  type- 
setters or  the  proof-readers.  But  that  practice  is  becoming 
obsolete. 

Some  writers  find  it  convenient  to  jot  down  notes  on  sepa- 
rate cards  or  small  sheets  of  paper  and  then  arrange  them  in 
orderly  sequence.  I  advise  you  to  try  this  method.  Others, 
especially  the  more  practised  writers,  dispense  with  such 
aids.  As  a  rule,  the  beginner  will  be  wise  if  he  prepares  an 
outline  of  what  he  intends  to  write,  so  as  to  give  sequence  and 
proportion  to  his  treatment  of  the  subject. 


COMPOSITION  167 

Clever  men  think  more  rapidly  than  they  can  write;  stupid 
men  write  more  rapidly  than  they  can  think;  a  good  writer  will 
form  the  habit  of  regulating  the  speed  of  his  thinking  so  that  it 
keeps  step  with  the  order  of  his  writing.  The  ability  to  syn- 
chronize the  movements  of  the  brain  and  of  the  hand  is  acquired 
by  experience,  which,  in  time,  creates  a  habit.  As  Ben  Jonson 
said:  "The  best  writers  in  their  beginnings  imposed  upon 
themselves  care  and  industry;  they  did  nothing  rashly;  they 
obtained  first  to  write  well,  and  then  custom  made  it  easy  and 
a  habit.  By  little  and  little  their  matter  showed  itself  to 
them  more  plentifully;  their  words  answered,  their  composi- 
tion followed;  and  all,  in  a  well-ordered  family,  presented  itself 
in  the  place.  So  that  the  sum  of  all  is,  ready  writing  makes 
not  good  writing,  but  good  writing  brings  on  ready  writing." 


XIV.    STYLE. 

Technology  has  no  recognized  rank  in  what  is  called 
polite  literature;  the  subject-matter  of  engineering  is  not 
supposed  to  lend  itself  to  artistic  treatment :  we  are  the  hewers 
of  wood  and  drawers  of  water  to  the  high-priests  of  learning 
who  live  on  the  cold  summit  above  our  humbler  dwellings. 
Therefore  the  hierophants  smile  at  the  notion  of  'style' — 
"that  curiously  personal  thing" — in  technical  writing.  The 
"great  art"  of  Pater,  the  "inevitable  phrase"  of  Raleigh,  the 
"note  of  distinction"  that  Arnold  demanded,  are  said  to  be 
beyond  the  scope,  as  they  are  supposed  to  be  beside  the  need, 
of  a  writer  on  geology  or  engineering.  This  is  a  narrow  view. 
Science,  no  less  than  belles  lettres,  calls  for  the  highest  flight  of 
the  human  intelligence;  the  art  of  writing  should  be  employed 
as  skilfully  and  as  thoroughly  in  a  description  of  the  structure 
of  the  Sierra  Nevada,  or  of  the  construction  of  a  tunnel  through 
the  range,  as  in  a  rhapsody  welcoming  the  rosy  fingers  of  the 
dawn. 

The  idea  still  lingers  that  fine  writing  does  not  befit  tech- 
nology, even  though  the  masters  of  the  Victorian  period — 
Huxley,  Tyndall,  Ruskin — proved  that  science  is  worthy  to  be 
arrayed  in  the  best  robes  that  the  looms  of  thought  can  weave. 
At  the  beginning  of  these  lectures  I  quoted  Barrie's  remark 
touching  the  inability  of  the  scientific  man  to  express  himself. 
That  imputation  has  been  passed  to  the  technologist,  whose  util- 
itarian pursuits  are  supposed  to  make  him  too  clumsy  for  the 
refinements  of  human  speech.  We  may  not  have  acquired  the 
self -consciousness  of  those  writers  on  Art  whose  "power  of 
expression  is  so  cultivated  that  their  sensual  caterwauling  may 
be  almost  mistaken  for  the  music  of  the  spheres";  nor  can  we 
imitate  the  politicians,  who  have  the  ability  to  speak  far  beyond 
anything  that  they  may  have  to  say;  but  we  too  have  a  litera- 
ture; a  literature  that  is  a  gold  mine  of  human  experience, 

168 


STYLE  169 

and  we  have  a  conscious  aim  to  use  our  great  inheritance,  the 
English  language,  in  furthering  our  purpose.  Therefore,  I 
submit,  we  are  justified  in  discussing  a  matter  even  so  recondite 
as  'style'.* 

The  engineer  joins  the  essayist,  the  historian,  and  the  poet 
in  bowing  to  the  greatest  of  all  definitions  of  style:  Buffon's 
"  Le  style  est  Vhomme  meme  " — style  is  the  man  himself.  Good 
writing  is  natural;  great  writing  is  sincere.  Artificial  rules 
can  no  more  furnish  style  than  a  man  "by  taking  thought 
can  add  one  cubit  unto  his  stature."  Not  long  ago  I  had  the 
pleasure  of  editing  an  article  on  the  discovery  of  cyanidation 
contributed  by  one  of  the  originators  of  that  process.  The 
article  was  written  without  affectation,  with  a  directness  and  a 
charm  characteristic  of  the  author  of  it.  A  correspondent  in 
Australia  wrote  saying:  "The  charm  of  which  you  speak  is 
characteristic  of  all  good  writing,  whether  on  familiar  or 
professional  subjects.  One  might  also  conclude'  that  such 
qualities  of  sincerity  and  kindliness  alone  can  account  for  liter- 
ary excellence."  The  persons  concerned  in  this  story  are  not 
famous — it  was  not  Tyrrell  talking  to  Carlyle  about  Swift,  for 
example — but  the  episode  serves  to  explain  Buffon's  saying 
"Style  is  the  man  himself."  Buffon  also  said:  "Ideas  alone 
are  the  foundation  of  style",  and  Stevenson  left  a  saying  that 
is  worth  many  rules:  "If  a  man  can  group  his  ideas,  he  is 
a  good  writer."  Without  the  ideas  to  bind  his  assorted  facts, 
the  writer  fares  no  better  than  the  Israelites  in  Egypt  when  they 
were  expected  to  make  bricks  without  straw.  Given  the 
ideas,  the  next  step  is  to  group  them  so  as  to  achieve  that 
"perfect  lucidity"  which  Carlyle  imputed  to  Swift.  Then 
comes  the  search  for  the  fitting  word — "le  mot  propre  "  of  Flau- 

*  "The  word  'style'  is  derived  from  the  instrument  (stilus')  of  metal, 
wood,  or  ivory,  by  means  of  which,  in  classic  times,  letters  and  words  were 
imprinted  on  waxen  tablets.  By  the  transition  of  thought  known  as 
metonymy  the  word  has  been  transferred  from  the  object  which  makes 
the  impression,  to  the  sentences  which  are  impressed  by  it,  and  a  mechani- 
cal observation  has  become  an  intellectual  conception."  Gosse.  'Ency- 
clopedia Britannica'. 


170  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

bert — the  word  that  belongs  to  the  thing  described,  the  precise 
'  epithet.  This  was  one  of  Shakespeare's  great  gifts.  So, 
working  backward,  we  have  the  proper  word,  the  word  in  its 
right  place,  the  idea  that  gives  life  to  a  sequence  of  words,  and, 
behind  all,  the  soul  of  a  man. 

You  may  have  heard  of  the  author  that  was  obsessed  by 
an  unattainable  ideal  of  style.  James  Huneker  tells  us  that  he 
dreamed  of  "long  sweeping  phrases,  drumming  with  melody, 
cadences  like  the  humming  of  slow  uplifting  walls  of  water 
tumbling  on  sullen  strands".  Do  not  permit  yourself  to  enter- 
tain such  an  idea;  it  is  not  within  the  province  of  the  technical 
writer,  and  will  lead  only  to  insincerity.  Sincerity  is  the  key- 
note to  good  writing.  Those  "lines  of  chiseled  beauty"  will 
come  if  you  attend  to  the  fundamentals  and  abstain 
from  rhapsody.  Anything  like  a  personal  or  distinctive  style 
cannot  be  acquired  until  you  have  trained  yourself  to  control 
the  gift  of  expression. 

This  advice  on  'style'  may  seem  premature;  it  may  be  like 
some  other  "road-maps  to  Parnassus  that  are  useful  only 
after  you  have  got  half-way  up";  but  I  repeat:  be  natural; 
be  yourself;  shun  artifice;  avoid  affectation;  say  frankly  what 
you  know  or  what  you  have  observed;  use  only  words  the 
meaning  of  which  you  know;  avoid  purple  patches  and  rhetori- 
cal confectionery.  Group  the  composition  about  the  central 
idea.  Be  satisfied  with  short  sentences  until  you  have  gained 
the  experience  that  enables  you  to  swing  the  longer  ones  dex- 
terously. As  you  gain  experience,  vary  the  length  of  your 
sentences;  the  crisp  sentence  is  a  relief;  the  long  and  resonant 
period  is  delightful.  Make  the  thought  consecutive  and  place 
the  sentences  in  such  order  that  the  succession  of  ideas  leads 
naturally  to  a  definite  conclusion. 

Not  all  engineers  are  graduates  of  a  university,  and  many 
of  those  who  have  been  so  fortunate  as  to  receive  a  liberal 
education  are  not  well  trained  in  the  use  of  their  own  language ; 
they  have  not  had  such  a  training  as  is  founded  upon  a 
knowledge  of  the  languages  of  antiquity,  supplemented  by  care- 


STYLE  171 

ful  reading  of  the  English  classics.  To  appreciate  good  writing 
keenly  is  a  stimulus  to  developing  one's  own  style.  Such 
preparation  is  valuable,  but  it  is  not  essential  to  the  ordinary 
technical  writer,  provided  he  makes  the  most  of  his  schooling 
and  tries  sincerely  to  avail  himself  of  the  means  of  expression 
at  his  command.  University  education  rarely  succeeds  in  pro- 
ducing men  that  write  succinctly;  intelligence  and  .  care — 
which  is  the  supreme  mark  of  intelligence — can  accomplish 
great  things. 

Two  examples  will  illustrate  my  argument.  Several  years 
ago  I  had  to  edit  a  long  and  detailed  description  of  a  metal- 
lurgical device  and  the  operation  of  it.  The  article  was  emi- 
nently practical  and  businesslike.  The  subject  did  not  permit 
any  literary  pose,  yet  the  article  evidently  was  the  work  of  a 
capable  craftsman.  I  found  that  it  needed  scarcely  any 
editing,  and  when  it  was  published  I  referred  gratefully  to 
the  excellence  of  the  writing.  Happening  to  discuss  the 
incident  with  a  friend,  I  was  asked  by  him  to  guess  for  what 
occupation  the  writer  had  been  trained,  and  I  said:  "The 
ministry."  This  guess  happened  to  be  right,  for  the  writer  had 
been  to  Oxford  and  was  intended  for  the  Church  before  he 
wandered  into  a  cyanide  mill.  The  article  bore  the  marks  of 
the  writer's  training;  a  quiet  command  of  English  and  a 
masterful  use  of  it,  making  a  difficult  bit  of  technical  exposition 
as  clear  and  interesting  as  the  subject  permitted;  and  since  "the 
home  of  lost  causes  "  is  not  my  alma  mater,  I  may  be  permitted 
to  acknowledge  the  value  of  Oxonian  English  in  the  literature 
of  science. 

My  other  example  differs  less  than  may  appear  at  first 
sight.  I  have  in  mind  an  article  describing  mining  conditions 
in  a  Central  American  republic.  Such  descriptions  are  usually 
made  as  verbally  florid  as  the  vegetation  of  the  tropics  and 
as  involved  as  the  jungle  itself;  at  best,  it  is  customary  to 
bespatter  them  with  unnecessary  Spanish  words  and  to  deal 
in  gorgeous  generalities  befitting  the  unlimited  mineral  resources 
of  an  inaccessible  region.  From  these  common  faults  this 


172  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

article  was  free.  The  sentences  were  short  and  to  the  point. 
The  statements  conveyed  information  without  exaggeration. 
The  writer  kept  what  he  knew  at  first  hand  separate  from 
what  he  had  merely  been  told;  he  gave  just  the  information  for 
which  the  average  intelligent  reader  would  ask,  and  a  touch 
of  humor  was  not  lacking  in  his  references  to  the  queer  things 
that  happen  on  a  Central  American  frontier.  It  was  like  the 
sensible  talk  of  an  intelligent  traveler  who  has  kept  his  eyes 
open  and  his  notebook  handy.  The  writer  had  not  received 
a  special  training  in  the  language  of  his  own  country  nor  in  that 
of  another;  as  a  graduate  from  a  technical  college  in  Michigan 
he  had  acquired  rather  more  of  contempt  than  of  love  for  the 
use  of  proper  words  in  proper  places,  and  yet,  by  dint  of  native 
intelligence  and  the  desire  to  do  his  task  well — the  true  pro- 
fessional spirit — he  had  succeeded  in  preparing  an  article  that 
in  its  way  was  as  good  as  that  of  the  Oxford  man.  Both  men 
/  were  unaffected,  both  kept  in  mind  the  purpose  of  their  writing, 
;  and  both  knew  what  they  were  talking  about.  The  moral  is 
that  bad  writing  is  due  to  insincerity,  carelessness,  or  ignorance. 
In  the  matter  of  the  relative  pronouns,  as  in  that  of  prepo- 
sition-verbs and  hyphens — indeed,  in  almost  everything  con- 
cerning which  I  have  endeavored  to  instruct  you — you  will 
find  example — even  authority — to  the  contrary.  Writing  is  a 
flexible  instrument  of  expression,  and  the  same  thing  can  be 
said  in  many  ways.  The  great  art  is  to  write  the  thing  in  the 
^  w&y  that  makes  it  most  easily  understood  by  the  reader — 
f  the  particular  reader  or  the  class  of  readers  for  whom  it  is 
^intended.  In  order  to  learn,  we  must,  of  course,  look  backward 
for  precedents  and  for  critical  judgments,  but  we  should  also 
occasionally  turn  and  look  forward,  and  in  that  forward  look- 
ing we  should  keep  our  eyes  on  the  purpose  of  our  work. 
Whether  one  great  writer  fail  to  distinguish  between  the 
relative  pronouns  or  another  use  preposition-verbs  like  a  Ger- 
man, does  not  matter  greatly  unless  it  hinder  us  in  writing 
clearly  on  technical  subjects.  Amid  the  distortions  of  English 
and  the  uncertainties  of  rhetorical  doctrine  we  shall  not  cry 


STYLE  173 

despairingly  "Whither  are  we  drifting?"  Rather  let  us  ask 
hopefully  "Whither  shall  we  steer?"  The  answer  is  prompt: 
"Out  of  the  fog,  into  the  sunshine  of  clear  plain  English." 

Technical  writing  rarely  conforms  to  the  higher  requirements 
of  literature,  largely  because  it  is  difficult  to  persuade  techni- 
cians to  conform  to  the  lower  requirements  of  plain  scientific 
statement.  George  M.  Wood,  the  editor  of  the  U.  S.  Geological 
Survey's  publications,  confesses  that  "the  purist  or  stylist 
would  not  be  satisfied  with  the  work  done.  The  split  infinitive 
may  remain,  unless  it  is  very  awkwardly  split;  the  doubtful  sin- 
gular or  plural  may  go  unchallenged — whether  three  feet  of 
sandstone  are  seen  or  is  seen  makes  no  difference  to  the  editor 
so  long  as  the  verb  is  everywhere  seen  in  the  same  number  in 
the  same  paper;  the  restrictive  ' which'  that  might  be  'that' 
may  go  to  print  unless  it  conveys  or  suggests  a  wrong  idea; 
'whose'  may  be  used  for  either  persons  or  things  without 
editorial  protest,  if  not  with  commendation.  Whether  some- 
thing 'had  better'  or  'would  better'  be  done;  whether  work 
was  'commenced'  or  'begun';  whether  the  indicative  should 
be  used  where  a  writer  of  the  old  school  would  prefer  the  sub- 
junctive are  questions  that  consume  none  of  the  time  of  the 
editors.  Great  latitude  of  expression  and  of  style  must  be 
allowed,  and  the  individuality  of  the  author  must  be  preserved — 
unless  his  individuality  should  consist  principally  in  the  repeti- 
tion of  faults  of  the  kinds  here  described." 

In  the  course  of  these  lectures,  I  have  quoted  many  examples 
of  bad  writing.  You  will  have  noticed  that  most  of  the  faults 
criticised  are  due  to  carelessness  rather  than  ignorance. 
Thoughtlessness  is  fatal  in  matters  that  demand  thought. 
Slovenly  writing  is  the  result  of  slovenly  thinking,  for  "  slovenly 
habits  of  expression  corrode  the  very  substance  of  thought."  * 
It  behooves  us  to  remember  that  language  in  relation  to  ideas 
is  a  solvent,  the  purity  and  clearness  of  which  affect  the  matter 
in  solution.  Whewell,  in  the  'Philosophy  of  the  Inductive 
Sciences',  has  expressed  this  view  with  noble  eloquence. 

*Allbutt. 


174  TECHNICAL  WRITING 

"Language",  he  said,  "is  often  called  an  instrument  of  thought, 
but  it  is  also  the  nutriment  of  thought;  or  rather  it  is  the 
atmosphere  in  which  thought  lives;  a  medium  essential  to  the 
activity  of  our  speculative  powers,  although  invisible  and  im- 
perceptible in  its  operation,  and  an  element  modifying,  by  its 
qualities  and  changes,  the  growth  and  complexion  of  the 
faculties  which  it  feeds." 

In  considering  this  phase  of  the  subject  there  comes  to 
mind  a  suggestion  that  takes  us  far  beyond  the  confines  of  the 
matter  under  discussion.  Man's  power  of  speech  appears  to 
divide  him  from  all  other  living  things;  at  the  same  time  the 
imperfection  of  it  weighs  him  down  continually  with  the  sense 
of  an  essential  frailty.  To  be  able  to  express  oneself  perfectly 
would  be  divine;  to  be  unable  to  make  oneself  completely 
understood  is  human.  In  '  Man's  Place  in  Nature'  Huxley 
points  out  that  the  endowment  of  intelligible  speech  separates 
man  from  the  brutes  most  nearly  resembling  him,  the  anthropoid 
apes,  to  whom  he  is  otherwise  akin  in  substance  and  in  struc- 
ture. This  endowment  of  speech  and  the  art  of  recording  him- 
self in  writing  enable  man  to  transmit  the  experience  that  in 
other  animals  is  lost  with  the  individual  life;  they  have  enabled 
him  to  organize  his  knowledge  and  to  hand  it  down  to  his  de- 
scendants, first  by  word  of  mouth  and  then  by  written  words. 
If  the  experience  thus  recorded  were  properly  used,  man's 
advancement  in  knowledge  and  in  conduct  would  allow  him  to 
emphasize,  much  more  than  at  present,  his  superiority  over  the 
dumb  animals.  Considered  thus,  language  is  a  factor  in  the 
evolution  of  the  race  and  an  instrument  that  works  for  ethical 
progress — it  is  a  gift  to  be  cherished  as  the  ladder  by  which  man 
has  climbed  from  his  bestial  origin  and  by  which  he  may 
ascend  to  a  loftier  destiny,  in  which,  ceasing  to  stammer  in 
accents  that  are  but  the  halting  expression  of  swift  thought, 
he  shall  unfold  his  mind  in  the  fullness  of  speech,  and,  neither 
withholding  what  he  wants  to  say  nor  saying  what  he  wants  to 
withhold,  shall  be  linked  to  his  fellows  by  a  perfect  communion 
of  ideas. 


INDEX 


Abbott,  Edwin  A.,  71 
Abbreviations,  52 
Abridgements,  118,  119 
Abstracts  v.  concrete,  31,  33,  35, 

128,  140,  144,  152 
Adjectival  clause,  116 
Adjectives 

compounded,  112 

inversion  of,  157 
'Advent',  14,  127 
Adverbs,  161 
Affectation,  11 
Allbutt,  Sir  Clifford,  8,  10,  33, 

129,  159 
'Alongside',  93 
Americanisms,  129 
'And',  154 

Anglo-Saxon  words,  7 
Aristotle,  13 
Arrangement,  165 
Article,  indefinite,  86 

Barrie,  Sir  James,  1,  168 
Britishisms,  63,  129 

Carelessness,  128 
'Case',  144 
'Certain',  49 
'Certainly',  49 
Christy,  S.  B.,  2 
'Chute',  132 


37, 


55, 


Clause 

adjectival,  116 

antecedent,  76 

definitive,  67,  70,  84 

non-defining,  70 

relative,  70 

restrictive,  69,  73,  75,  81 

subordinate,  68 

superfluous,  142,  161 
Clearness,  19,  46,  57,  79,  97,  109,  111, 

127,  160 

Commas,  70,  72,  161 
Composition,  12,  163,  170 
Compound  words,  109,  114 
'Concentrates',  38 
Concord,  44 
Condensation,  114 
Confusion  of  thought,  23 
Connection,  logical,  156 
Connectives,  85 
'Considerable',  50 
'Contemplate',  14,  148 

'Data',  5 
Definitions,  28 
'  Differentiate/  128 
Difficulty  of  writing,  5 
Directness  of  statement,  160 
'Discount',  128 
Double  negative,  24 
Doubtful  meaning,  77 


175 


176 

'Doubtless',  48 
'Due',  121 

Economy  of  effort,  10 

Elaboration,  17 

Elegance,  63 

'Eliminate',  148 

Emphasis,  48,  105,  124,  157,  162 

'Encounter',  141 

Euphony,  80 

Exactness,  36 

Expression,  168 

precise,  9 
Extravagance,  141 

Figures  of  speech,  138 
Fine  writing,  14,  168 
Fluency,  19 
Foote,  Arthur  DeW.,  2 

Gayley,  Charles  M.,  76 
Good  style,  29 
Good  writing,  20 
'Great',  48 

Hill,  A.  S.,  2,  67,  78,  97,  157,  164 

Hodgson,  71 

Huxley,  Thomas  H.,  8,  17,  83,  105, 

174 
Hyphens,  107,  113,  136 

Idioms,  44,  48,  94,  99,  104,  105 
Incoherence,  150 
Infinitive,  88,  118 

split,  158 
'Inside',  93 

Introductory  phrases,  123,  124 
Inversions,  161 
'It',  56 

James,  Henry,  4,  53,  166 
Jargon,  59,  134,  148 
Johnson,  Samuel,  16,  28 
Jonson,  Ben,  13,  167 


INDEX 

Kelley,  James  P.,  79,  90,  151,  153 


'Late',  24 

Latin  inflections,  149 
Latin  words,  6,  82,  95 
'Latter',  55 
'Locate',  131 

Macaulay,  Thomas  B.,  21,  55,  164 
Meredith,  George,  16 
'Met  with',  104 
Meticulous  precision,  30 
'Muck',  136 

Natural  writing,  12,  13 
Naturalness,  11 
'Nature',  144 
Newspapers,  usage  of,  128 
Nicety  of  phrasing,  3 
Notes,  use  of,  166 
Nouns 

adjectival,  118 

collective,  45 

Obscurity,  127 
'Occur',  123 
'One',  61,  63 
'Only',  23 
'Outside',  93 

Paragraph,  165 

'Partial',  24 

Participial  phrases,  120 

Participles,  119 

Pencil,  use  of,  166 

'Percentage',  31 

'Phenomenon',  21 

Plural,  unnecessary,  26,  38,  40,  42,  89 

Precise  expression,  9 

Precision,  29,  63,  75,  79,  86 

Preposition-verbs,  94 

Prepositions,  94 

function  of,  92 

misplaced,  104 


INDEX 


177 


'Probably',  51 
'Problem',  147 
Pronouns 

indefinite,  60 

relative,  64,  71,  78,  86,  172 

relative,  omission  of,  89 

relative,  substitute  for,  86,  88 
'Prosecute',  16,  139 
Provincialism,  128,  129 
Punctuation,  65,  70,  72,  161 
Purpose  of  writing,  4 

Qualifying  phrases,  51,  53 
Quiller-Couch,  Sir  Arthur,  7,  37,  134, 

141 
Quotations,  use  of,  11 

'Rather',  47,  51 
Raymond,  R.  W.,  12 
Redundancy,  27,  125,  143 
Relative 

clause,  70 

pronouns,  64,  71,  78,  86,  172 

pronouns,  omission  of,  39 

pronouns,  substitute  for,  86,  88 
Repetition  of  word,  57 
Revision,  12 

Re-writing,  77,  78,  88,  90 
Rules,  113 

Rules  for  writing,  76,  90 
Ruskin,  John,  15,  21,  30,  80 

'Section',  132 
Self-restraint,  130 
Sentences,  164 

arrangement  of,  88 

beginning  of,  122 

construction  of,  149 

co-ordinate,  71 

doubtful,  76 
Sincerity,  30 
'Situation',  146 
Slang,  162 
'Slimes',  38 


Slovenliness,  35,  118,  139 
'Some',  50 
'Sometimes',  26 
'Somewhat',  47 
Specific  phrase,  50 
Spencer,  Herbert,  9,  10,  36 
Split  infinitive,  158 
Stevenson,  R.  L.,  7 
Style,  8,  29,  31,  39 

good,  68 

natural,  11,  12 
Superlatives,  46 
Suspensions,  159 
Synonyms,  131 

'Tank',  130,  131 

Taste  in  writing,  126 

'Tend',  121 

Terms,  definition  of,  28 

Terseness,  3 

'That',  69,  73,  77 

'That'  and  'which',  64,  80,  83,  155 

'They',  62 

Transposition,  102 

'Tunnel',  133 

Uncouthness,  14 
Unemphatic  words,  121 
'Unique',  47 
Usage, 

homely,  106 

of  newspapers,  128 

Vagueness,  41,  49 
'Value',  31,  33 
Verbosity,  20 
Verbs,  158 

after  plural,  44 
'Very',  26,  46,  48 
Vocabulary,  20,  163 
Vulgarisms,  42,  130 

Wells,  H.  G.,  20 
'Which',  67 
'While',  60,  122 


178 


INDEX 


'Who',  75 

Wilson,  Woodrow,  12 

1  With',  58,  60 

Wood,  George  M.,  27,  120,  144,  173 

Woolley,  E.  C.,  106 

Words, 

compound,  109,  114 

foreign,  60 

of  similar  sound,  22 

repetition  of,  57 

significant,  123,  127 

superfluous,  143 

unfamiliar,  17 


'Write-ups',  137 
Writing 

bad,  137,  173 

difficulty  of,  5 

ease  of,  79 

fine,  14,  168 

first  principle  of,  1C 

good,  20 

keynote  of,  11 

natural,  12,  13 

persuasive,  13 

purpose  of,  4 

taste  in,  126 


Wiley  Special  Subject  Catalogues 

For  convenience  a  list  of  the  Wiley  Special  Subject 
Catalogues,  envelope  size,  has  been  printed.  These 
are  arranged  in  groups — each  catalogue  having  a  key 
symbol.  (See  special  Subject  List  Below).  To 
obtain  any  of  these  catalogues,  send  a  postal  using 
the  key  symbols  of  the  Catalogues  desired. 


1 — Agriculture.     Animal  Husbandry.     Dairying.     Industrial 
Canning  and  Preserving. 

2 — Architecture.       Building.       Masonry. 

3 — Business  Administration  and  Management.     Law. 

Industrial  Processes :   Canning  and  Preserving;  I  Oil  and  Gas 
Production;  Paint;  Printing;  Sugar  Manufacture;  Textile. 

CHEMISTRY 
4a  General;  Analytical,  Qualitative  and  Quantitative;  Inorganic; 

Organic. 
4b  Electro-  and  Physical;  Food  and  Water;  Industrial;  Medical 

and  Pharmaceutical;  Sugar. 

CIVIL  ENGINEERING 

5a  Unclassified  and  Structural  Engineering. 

5b  Materials  and  Mechanics  of  Construction,  including;  Cement 
and  Concrete;  Excavation  and  Earthwork;  Foundations; 
Masonry. 

5c   Railroads;  Surveying. 

5d  Dams;  Hydraulic  Engineering;  Pumping  and  Hydraulics;  Irri- 
gation Engineering;  River  and  Harbor  Engineering;  Water 

Supply. 

(Over) 


CIVIL  ENGINEERING—  Continued 

5e  Highways;  Municipal  Engineering;  Sanitary  Engineering; 
Water  Supply.  Forestry.  Horticulture,  Botany  and 
Landscape  Gardening. 


6 — Design.       Decoration.       Drawing:     General;      Descriptive 
Geometry;  Kinematics;  Mechanical. 

ELECTRICAL  ENGINEERING— PHYSICS 
7 — General  and  Unclassified;  Batteries;  Central  Station  Practice; 
Distribution  and  Transmission;  Dynamo-Electro  Machinery; 
Electro-Chemistry  and  Metallurgy;  Measuring     Instruments 
and  Miscellaneous  Apparatus. 


8 — Astronomy.      Meteorology.      Explosives.      Marine    and 
Naval  Engineering.     Military.    Miscellaneous  Books. 

MATHEMATICS 

D — General;    Algebra;  Analytic  and  Plane  Geometry;   Calculus; 
Trigonometry;  Vector  Analysis. 

MECHANICAL  ENGINEERING 

lOa  General  and  Unclassified;  Foundry  Practice;  Shop  Practice. 
lOb  Gas  Power  and    Internal   Combustion  Engines;  Heating  and 

Ventilation;  Refrigeration. 
lOc  Machine  Design  and  Mechanism;  Power  Transmission;  Steam 

Power  and  Power  Plants;  Thermodynamics  and  Heat  Power. 
11— Mechanics.  

12 — Medicine.  Pharmacy.  Medical  and  Pharmaceutical  Chem- 
istry. Sanitary  Science  and  Engineering.  .  Bacteriology  and 
Biology. 

MINING  ENGINEERING 

13 — General;  Assaying;  Excavation,  Earthwork,  Tunneling,  Etc.; 
Explosives;  Geology;  Metallurgy;  Mineralogy;  Prospecting; 
Ventilation. 


1934  1      A?R   4    194S 


SEP 


3IWIar'53JP 


MAR  1611 


APR231953LU 


4  1942 

OCT21   1943 
OCT  7  1945 


LD  21-50m-l,'3£ 


YC  20004 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


